The Trials of Ashiril Lavellan
by CatKatan
Summary: Ash never had any intention of being a hero. But Fate had other ideas! Or Andraste did? Maybe Coincidence. Ash wasn't sure. Regardless, the warrior found herself leading the Inquisition, just after the defeat of Haven. Ash and Blackwall have a budding romance, with the specter of a (very) jealous Solas. Ok, let's be real, Solas has a hat in that ring too. Rom/Humor/Angst/Action
1. The Dawn Will Come

**The story might be jarring, beginning somewhere in the "middle," but if all goes well I might flesh out the start of it all.**

 **As for this retelling of the Inquisitor Adventures, I plan to take some liberties with established canon/dialogue/events, because we've all heard the original bidness and fresh takes are half the fun of fanfic.**

 **Meet Ashiril Narell Lavellan, elven warrior and reluctant hero of the Inquisition! Does she want to have a painful, ominous mark on her hand and crushing, serious responsibility of the fate of Thedas on her mind? Not really! Does she find brooding loners fun to befriend/tease and even more fun to flirt with? Probably! Will there be blasts from Dragon Age pasts in the form of the Hero of Ferelden or Champion of Kirkwall, along with their own friends and loved ones? We'll seeeee!**

She felt strong arms lift her. Anxious voices lilted around her.

"Is she alive?"

"She looks so pale."

"Where is a healer?!"

 _I'm not hallucinating,_ she thought. _They've found me. Perhaps too late._ She tried to speak, but her lips were so numb they barely formed coherent words.

Canvas and wood trappings appeared above her, replacing the inky night sky, as she felt herself lowered into a soft pile of furs.

"Make room!" a familiar voice barked. She blinked slowly and focused on the face now hovering over hers. A forehead creased with uncharacteristic concern. Pale gray-blue eyes narrowed with intense focus. Cool, slender fingers stroked across her brow and smoothed her tangled hair. "It is alright, Lavellan. I have you." He had bent down to speak softly to only her, so close she could feel the heat of his breath on her cheek. She drew in a shuddering breath.

"Sol…" she managed before her teeth clattered too hard to continue.

"Shh, just rest." Ash felt a strange warmth tingling through her as his hands hovered over her body. She obeyed and closed her eyes, slipping into a merciful sleep.

She slowly came awake sometime later, unexpectedly refreshed. The ache in her leg from the fall was almost gone. Ash flexed her fingers tentatively. They obeyed, no longer numb with cold. She breathed a sigh of relief. What a nightmare it would've been to make it through all that and then not be able to hold a sword.

"What would you have me tell them? This isn't what we asked them to do!"

Arguing voices echoed from close-by. Ash sat up and rubbed her head where she had hit it earlier, pleased it did not throb as before. She watched across the campfire as her four advisors bickered. _Guess the celebrations of my survival were short-lived,_ she thought ruefully. She pulled her feet up under her and straightened, testing her muscles and joints for lingering pain.

"You should not be up so soon, Inquisitor," advised the calm voice of Mother Giselle from next to her.

"If I don't do something soon, they might drive me mad. I've been awake a minute and the first thing I hear is arguing over our next move," she smirked.

"And no small thanks to you for that," Mother Giselle smiled warmly in return. "We are safe from Corypheus for now, but the threat remains. They feel that keenly. The face of our war has merely changed faces to those around us."

Ash bit her lower lip thoughtfully. She was afraid to ask about what had transpired, but more afraid to let much time pass without preparations.

"I am not sure how far I've come or how much time has passed. Where is Corypheus?"

"To answer that, I would know where we are first," Mother Giselle shrugged helplessly. "And I do not. Perhaps it is a blessing, in that we have also lost his army. For now."

"Oddly not comforting," the elven woman snorted.

"Perhaps he thinks you dead. Or perhaps he is assured of victory now. I cannot say. None of us can," the Revered Mother's gaze drifted back to the Inquisition advisors. They had separated to their respective posts, where they continued to brood over their options.

"Well. Time to enjoy my reward for surviving and get back to the grueling task of winning this war," Ash stood. Her legs shook a little, but she felt steady enough. She had thought she was minutes from death. Solas had done an excellent job. She would have to find and thank him.

"I am not certain that is the best course," Mother Giselle called Ash's attention back to her. She sat calmly, her delicate hands folded in her lap. "Perhaps you do not appreciate what we experienced. What you showed us. We saw our defender, our chosen one, stand… and fall. And now, she returns. The more the enemy is beyond us, the more miraculous your actions appear. And the more our trials seem ordained."

Ash didn't like where this was going. The whole 'prophetic hero from the Gods' bit was not her style. She barely had enough reverence for her own Dalish history. Or reverence for much of anything, come to think of it. The Revered Mother continued, waxing poetic of the elf's incredible actions and how each step they all took became heavier, more difficult, more wrought with sacrifice. Yet they all felt Andraste's guiding hand through it.

"I'm no savior," Ash protested. "I never died. I'll admit I made an impressive escape. But that's hardly god-like."

"You may say so, and it may be true. But the people know what they saw," she continued gently, "or perhaps, what they needed to see. Can we truly know the heavens are not with us?"

A compelling argument, the non-zero chance of there being a divine hand in all this. Ash shook her head and turned back to the campfire. She could see some faces had turned toward her now that she was awake, curiosity in their expressions.

"Well. God or no, I'm going to need more than faith to beat the thing I met back there," she sighed. She started walking then, testing her sore muscles as she left the older woman sitting on the cot behind her.

Ash looked around. The people were quiet. Pensive. Her advisors stood nearby, sullen and contemplative. Movement caught her eye from a nearby tent, and she smiled as Blackwall appeared. His normally stern face softened as he caught sight of her up and about. A memory came back, of his voice among the many when she had been carried back to camp earlier. She remembered the strain of concern in it. She knew he must've fought to keep his distance, knowing others would need room to heal her.

He moved toward her.

A deep voice rang out, breaking the tense silence. Mother Giselle was singing.

 _Shadows fall, and hope has fled.  
Steel your heart, the dawn will come._

The older woman walked toward her, back straight, her voice strong and crisp and carrying through the camp with ease. Goosebumps raced across Ash's skin.

 _The night is long, and the path is dark.  
Look to the sky, for one day soon_

All eyes were on them now as the Revered Mother stopped beside her.

 _The dawn will come._

The people were gathering now. Leliana's clear voice joined in, then another, and another. Ash swallowed hard. Blackwall had stopped when the singing began and was looking around him with a fierce awe at the display. Her eyes scanned the crowd. She was surprised at how her heart pounded harder in her chest. She could feel sweat bead on her forehead despite the cold. They had such faith in her. Sure, she had always enjoyed admiration at her prowess in battle, or the delight in enrapturing a friendly audience with a good tale. But this was different. This was entirely out of her realm of experience.

Ash caught Blackwall gazing from across the fire at her. His hooded eyes were intense, and even from here she could see his broad chest rise and fall in deep, measured breaths. Butterflies assaulted her stomach as she held his stare and felt its intensity grow. The burly warrior rivaled Solas in his penchant for solitary brooding, but she had not missed the increasing attention he'd been paying her in previous days. And now, barely hours from escaping death itself, she could practically feel him vibrating with protective energy.

Combined with the uplifting chorus, she knew her face must be turning red. She tore her eyes away and let out a deep sigh.

"Faith may have yet to find you," Mother Giselle said quietly, "but it has already found them."

She frowned. Couldn't resist getting the last word in, could she?

Ash started to turn, to escape back to her tent, when she caught another pair of steady eyes on her.

Solas was watching her from the outskirts of the singing army. His expression was not one of elation or inspiration, but of cool calculation. He moved toward her when he realized she saw him.

"A word?" he said curtly, never stopping as he walked behind her and beyond the tents. Ash felt a shiver roll through her at his tone.

They had become closer in the previous weeks. It was not because he was one of the few elves at Haven. He was pensive and thoughtful in ways that sparked her curiosity. And upon exploration, he had countless stories he was eager to share with her. She almost felt possessive of his friendship now, so rarely did he seem to bestow it on others.

She could hear their voices still, echoing quietly through the still, dark night as she followed Solas away from camp.

His slender fingers waved across a torch sticking from the snow-covered ground and it burst to blue-white life. He turned slowly toward her and caught her eyes with his once more. The light danced across his face, giving him an intimate, austere air against the cold wilderness around them.

"The humans haven't raised one of our people so high for ages beyond counting," he began. "One would think this a time to celebrate. Save one detail."

"Oh?" Ash stepped close to the mage fire, not eager to be out in the cold so soon. Her shoulder brushed Solas' arm, but he made no move to put more distance between them.

"Corypheus carries an orb. You saw it, I imagine."

Ash nodded.

"It is ours. Corypheus used it to open the breach. I imagine it is what caused the explosion that destroyed the Conclave," he dropped the revelation as casually as if he were discussing the weather. Ash's brow crinkled in mild shock.

"The orb is elven? How do you know this?"

"I know many things," he evaded. "That is beside the point. The point is that we must determine how he survived. And we must prepare for the reaction of those around us, when they realize the orb is of our people."

"Alright, I'll agree well enough with some of that. Though I would not jump to think so little of our companions over an unpleasant coincidence," she shrugged. Solas's mouth tightened in a disapproving line.

"If only I shared your faith in the goodwill of others," he said dryly.

"No one said anything about blind goodwill of the masses," she smirked. "We're talking about people we fight beside every day. Leliana, Josephine, Cassandra and Cullen have proven more than once their belief in us. You, me, Varric, Dorian, Iron Bull, Vivienne, Blackwall… hell, even Sera… we've all bled for this."

Solas' eyes dropped to the blue fire before them.

"As you say."

Ash frowned. She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned close, squeezing gently. His face turned very slightly toward her.

"But you are not wrong… to be concerned. There is history. So, alright, Solas," she nodded. "I will heed you, and be careful."

His eyes widened a moment as if in surprise, then softened.

"Thank you," his voice was quiet. It had lost its customary edge. He turned more, almost facing her, and her hand fell from his shoulder back to her side. His arm was very slightly extended, so that his fingers brushed hers. His eyes dropped, drawn by the contact. A faint smile tugged at his lips. Ash cleared her throat and stepped back.

"If we're done here, I really should lie back down," she said. "Talented as you are, nearly dying really took the wind out of my sails."

"An exaggeration, to be sure. I have boundless faith in your long-windedness," he remarked with a knowing smirk. Her eyes widened. She snorted in protest.

"Look who's talking! If I were to notch my sword for every story you told, not even considering their length, I'd have the biggest bread knife Thedas has ever seen! Its fame would be such that empires would crumble trying to acquire it. Giants would weep for the sandwiches that could've been."

Solas' smile only widened as he watched her disbelieving tirade. She stopped mid-sentence, blew an exasperated huff, and turned back toward camp.

"Long-winded, indeed…"

His gaze trailed after her as she stomped back toward her tent. The smile wavered when a large, familiar form intercepted her. The human, Blackwall. Ever lingering close to Ash, ever the elven warrior's unnecessary protector. Solas exhaled sharply through his nose. He turned to the torch, watching the blue flames flicker a moment, before snapping his hand in a quick, impatient motion. The flames winked out.


	2. Scout Ahead

The broad-shouldered, solid form of Blackwall approached Ash as she neared the edge of the camp, backlit by the light of the fire. He gave her a deep smile that drew attention to his strong cheekbones and bright eyes. Her heart announced its presence aggressively against her ribcage. _Damned, if he doesn't have beautiful hair,_ she mused as she drank in the sight of him. The beard was still a novelty to her. A thick, luxurious novelty that her fingers ached to toy with.

"My lady, it is good to see you about," his deep voice held an underlying urgency. Anxiety, maybe, that he was hesitant to express.

"Just needed a nap to shake the ol' death out of my bones," Ash quipped. Blackwall coughed. The leather of his gloves whined as he wrung his hands nervously. She almost reached out to him then and there, but his stoicism stunted her.

"You jest, but we very nearly did lose you," he shook his head. "I wanted to apologize. If I hadn't lost sight of you back at the last battle, maybe…"

"Stop there," she said sharply. "If you hadn't lost sight of me, we'd be pressing our luck for two miraculous escapes, and I might be down one excellent soldier." He cleared his throat.

"Fair point."

"Your concern is touching, but I know what I'm doing," Ash paused. She bit her lip in reconsideration. "Well… okay, so Haven was new. With the undead mage and the dragon. But I improvised." Her gold eyes snapped back to him and narrowed. "I'm good at that."

He chuckled warmly.

"So I'm learning." Blackwall saw her shoulders quake in a shiver and his thick eyebrows rose. "Foolish of me. You're freezing, and here I am blocking the fire." He stepped aside as he reached out and took gentle hold of her elbow to guide her further into the camp.

"You'll have to make it up to me somehow," Ash winked at him. His already ruddy cheeks darkened further.

"I, ah…" he faltered.

"I'm quite alright, Blackwall. Though I wouldn't say no to any food we have ready around here," she saved him from any unnecessary apology.

"That, I can do. I'll be back shortly," he bowed and set off determinedly. Ash shook her head. She'd never met any man so eager to please her. It was bewildering. She was drawn to his strength, his kindness, and ruggedness. She had thought at first his earnestness would irritate her, but it had charmed her instead. And now, the eagerness to serve her. It was all new to Ash. Even the smallest off-hand joke might send Blackwall away on a mission. She'd have to be careful about voicing idle wishes, lest she send one of her best warriors on a fool's errand for Antivan figs.

He returned shortly with a bowl of hot stew and a metal cup of cold ale.

"We have ale?" she gasped.

"Shh," he glanced around conspiratorially. "Keep your voice down. Iron Bull doesn't have unlimited supplies, you know."

Ash laughed and sat down as close to the fire as was reasonable. She had hoped for a moment to catch up with the warden. So much had happened. When she was climbing through the cave beneath the ruins of Haven, her energy slowly seeping from her with each step, she had many thoughts run through her head. She had thought of her clan, of the Inquisition she'd never wanted depending on her, of her new friends and their unknown fates… of Blackwall. She knew so little about him, and yet she found strength thinking of what she might say if she finally got a second chance.

Not that she would have that chance yet. No sooner had they sat to eat, then she was surrounded by her advisors. The break had given them time to digest events and formulate new plans. And with new plans came new things to run by Ashiril. Such was her life now.

She cast Blackwall one helpless shrug before turning to an insistent Cassandra, doing her best to talk over Cullen. The warden chuckled and left them to their plotting. It was enough for him that he'd stolen a few words with the elven warrior. It was enough even to have seen her alive and well, after the spiral of regret that had swallowed him, surely as the snow had swallowed Haven.

The next few days were charged with excitement. No one knew exactly how or why, but Ashiril led with a renewed purpose through the snowy mountains around them. Her confident voice barked orders that kept them all energized and moving. It was a far cry from the mood that had befallen them the night after Haven fell. Now, there was a mission. Spirits grew ever warily higher as they followed the elven warrior, with the elven apostate often at her side. Some wondered what he whispered to her when they pulled ahead of the group.

"You're sure there's something out here?" Ash asked Solas breathlessly as she climbed yet another snowy bank toward yet another outcropping of rock. She'd managed to keep the group following her fired up, but her own excitement waned with each new view of more mountains and clouds and ice.

"I'm sure," was the elven mage's steadfast reply.

"Course you are," she muttered to herself.

"So little faith," he chuckled as she neared the next peak.

"It's not that I don't have faith in your vast knowledge of all things random and obscure, it's just that I'm eager to not be traipsing about mountains in the dead of winter," Ash explained patiently. A few more feet and she could stretch and observe the next few miles. "And morale is high now, but I wouldn't hold out hope once the supplies start… start. Holy…"

Ash's voice died as she reached the peak and looked beyond. She straightened to her full height. Her jaw dropped fully. The sight before her filled her with awe, and a little bit of sheepishness.

Solas had been right.

Before her, just beyond a brief valley of snow and stone, rose a massive fortress nestled between the mountains. Its size rivaled that of any human castle she had ever seen.

And it was theirs now.

"Holy Maker's fetid breath! How did you know about this?" her voice shook with excitement.

"Am I going to have to give the origin story of every tidbit I share with you?"

Ash scoffed loudly and spun around to face Solas, throwing her arms wide in an emphatic gesture.

"For the _tidbits_ that I can fit an actual army inside, yes, Solas. Yes, I would like that origin story."

He raised a dark eyebrow at her. His lips pressed together in a self-satisfied smirk.

"Perhaps, when I think of something you can give me in exchange."

She narrowed her eyes on him, ignoring as excitement began to spread through the group like fire as more realized the discovery.

"You are a bad friend," she scolded. His eyes widened in mock offence.

"I just gave you a castle!"

"Ach," she spat and turned.

A gasp from behind drew her attention.

"Maker's breath!" Cassandra stood dumbstruck. Varric was close behind.

"Holy hell in a basket," he whistled.

Ash raised an eyebrow at them.

"I know, right?" she said smugly. She threw her arms wide. "Inform the people. Tonight, we celebrate in comfort!"


	3. Skyhold

The settling of Skyhold, as it was called by Solas, was swift and sure, the ragtag army descending on its crumbling halls like locusts on a field of wheat. Ashiril eagerly walked the massive main hall with her advisors. Josephine did her best to be subtle about covering her nose with a handkerchief. Cullen looked around with stern eyes, and Ash imagined visions of war tapestries and training grounds dancing through his head. Leliana was a mask, as usual, but Ash would almost swear she caught a glint of excitement in the spymaster's eyes.

Ash had lived in forests most her life. But the thought of heading a force within this castle thrilled her. She wanted to _decorate._ She began barking orders for each decrepit corner she came across. The elf had never had so much in common with Josephine.

Soon after, she walked the grounds with Cassandra, listening to her friend's update on how Skyhold would be a boon for those throughout the land.

"We have a new understanding of the situation. We know now why Corypheus is drawn to you," her velvet voice carried on sternly.

"Yes. Comforting at least to know the mark I carry is of no use to him anymore," Ash regarded the bright green gash across her left palm.

"The Anchor has power. But it's not why you're still standing here," Cassandra agreed. She continued across the yard. Ash followed, looking around at the people as they unpacked, raised tents, settled, talked, healed. She caught an occasional glimpse of a broad-brimmed, beaten hat and remembered the strange boy they'd met before Haven fell. Cole, was it? She'd have to look into that. Ash smiled to herself. It was her duty now, to be in the know, and not just a nosey pastime.

They were ascending steps to the main building. Cassandra was waxing more poetic about Ash's efforts of late, of how her decisions had led them through so much. Was that Leliana with the ornate sword she'd seen in their War Table room in the past?

A knot twisted Ash's stomach. Wait. Had she missed something? Damn her wandering attention.

"The Inquisition requires a leader," Cassandra concluded firmly, stepping aside to allow Ash access to the sword Leliana held out for her. "The one who has _already_ been leading it."

Ash's skin prickled as if someone was watching her. She glanced to the side.

Oh.

The entirety of the camp gathered below the stony steps, gazing up at Ash, Cassandra, and Leliana. Their expectant faces looked to her with a regard and hope that unsettled her.

Ash had been one of many warriors in her clan back home. She was a good one, to be sure, but the Keeper had made it very clear he disapproved of her reckless abandon and disregard for tradition. She'd never felt the burden of leadership before. She had never been interested.

If only the Keeper could see her now. How he would laugh. Or in his case, snort amusedly before resuming a stern and disapproving glare.

Ash took a deep, steadying breath. There was Josephine next to Cullen, her eyes brightened by her charming smile. And Cullen was staring so intently she felt a blush creep over her. Where were the others? Blackwall? She imagined they were lost in the throng. There were _so many people._

Cassandra was waiting for her response.

"Er… It's unanimous?" Ash finally managed. "You all have that much confidence in me?"

"All of these people have their lives because of you," the warrior wasn't budging. She continued, acquiescing that handing such power to anyone is an important decision, that it must be ordained, and that the future of the Inquisition was in Ashiril's hands.

The elf stepped up to Leliana and regarded the blade. It was mainly ornamental. Ash could never wield it like she did her family's great axe. It would be worn to a dented mess within a day. But that wasn't the point.

She lifted the blade. A resolve stirred inside her. So she hadn't asked for this. It was hers now, and Ash always did enjoy a good challenge.

"Then… I will lead us against Corypheus. Not for power, or my own peace, or because it was ordained. But because he must be stopped, for Thedas. Because it's what is right."

 _Not bad. Nothing to write home about, but succinct,_ she nodded to herself.

Ash was dimly aware of Cassandra addressing the crowd. Cullen's voice rang out, and the crowd roared in response. Her heart swelled with the excitement. She raised the sword high above her head and elicited another cheer from the people below. Ash wanted to laugh aloud. Thank Thedas she had been so stubborn all those years ago to learn the two-handed warrior way. She had honed her slight muscles into steel, out of sheer will to disprove those in her clan who thought her far too small to be a successful warrior. How difficult would it have been to hold this chunk of steel aloft otherwise?

With the ceremony concluded, Ash thanked her advisors and continued into the great hall. There was an improved spring in her step. An unexpected fire in her gut. She had half a mind to track down Blackwall and explain how she understood him all the more now.

But first, business. Ash went back to her quarters to put her token sword on display, taking a few moments to admire it and reflect on her new role. Her eyes settled on her wardrobe. Of course. A new role begat new clothes.

When she emerged from her chambers, she was dressed in a shimmering red-gold dress of ornamental scales, a silk sash of deep blue encircling her slim waist. Exquisite leather boots studded with the same red-gold metal rose to her thighs. Gloves of the same soft leather enclosed her hands. She had even braided her long auburn hair in the fashion of her people before battle.

She pushed open the door to Josephine's work area and took a moment to admire how the Antivan had already decorated it with furniture and paintings. The woman looked up from her desk and was briefly taken aback at the Inquisitor's new look.

"You look lovely, yet intimidating," Josephine decided.

"It's a day of firsts," she shrugged. Josephine smiled and briefly dropped her eyes to the letter she was writing.

"I meant to tell you, Inquisitor, that we have all settled in well. I recommend you check in as time allows. Varric and Solas are near the Great Hall. I believe Dorian is rooting through our library on the second floor. Iron Bull acquaints himself with the tavern. Cassandra is, of course, training. Vivienne and Sera are out on the grounds at the moment. Cole is… well. I'll get back to you on that. And Blackwall," Ash detected a lilting note to the way she said the warrior's name, "has been asking for you. I believe he is just outside the main hall."

Ash hoped the Antivan didn't see her blush.

They exchanged a few more words about the previous day before the tone shifted.

"Inquisitor, is it true?" Josephine had not spoken with Ash directly about any of the recent events. "Corypheus is responsible for the mark on your hand?"

"So he claims."

"And here we so firmly believed in Andraste's hand in all this. How credulous of me," Josephine accepted the news with characteristic grace. It made something bend in Ash. Perhaps there was no harm in a little hope.

"Corypheus is as reliable a narrator as my _babala_. It might be that the Maker was involved, and we are merely too close to see it," Ash shrugged.

"It would be fitting, if that were true," the accommodating Antivan said. She lowered her long-lashed eyes from Ash's face. She spoke again, hesitantly this time. "Does it… hurt? Your mark. The 'Anchor,' as it were."

Ash raised an eyebrow. They all knew more of the mark, but it was still largely a mystery.

"Only when I laugh," she smirked. Josephine pursed her lips and looked up at the elf with amusement dancing in her eyes.

"The pain must be a hardship, indeed."

Ash inclined her head and turned to leave.

"A moment, more, Inquisitor," Josephine called. The elf's shoulders slumped a fraction. "There are some matters on which I would have your input." Ash sighed, spinning on the ball of her foot and fixing a polite smile to her lips.

"Of course." Ash would be a responsible leader, damn it. No matter how boring it could be.


	4. Damnit, Solas

_**I often found some of the romance dialogue and progression heavy-handed, which is not unexpected in games with a lot of ground to cover. So I will almost always take liberties with those scenes to reflect what seems like a more natural moment to me.**_

 _ **Go go gadget, love triangle**_

Sometime later she turned to head back out to the main hall, then noticed stairs leading down from Josephine's office. Curiosity took hold. It led to a massive, long room of columns and paintings. Ash blew a low whistle.

"I wonder how many armies I could fit in here? A small nation, perhaps?" she murmured. "Inquisitor Ashiril, warrior of clan Lavellan, empress of Skyhold, bringer of pain and parties…" She headed through one door to find a dusty wine cellar. The bottles she and Blackwall had started finding around Thedas lined one shelf. A thrill tickled through her. Had he put them there?

She headed back out and… which way had she come? No matter. Another door led to a small library filled with cobwebs. Yet another led to a kitchen with a cook grumbling about missing bread.

"Son a shit griffon…" she muttered as she emerged into daylight. A tall barn rose to her left and stairs leading to the battlements stood before her. She would bet money Blackwall would be walking those battlements, watching like a hawk for signs of trouble.

Ash ran up them, chewed her lip before heading arbitrarily in one direction, cursed colorfully when it ended in crumbling stones, and headed back the other way. At least the view was nice.

She threw open a heavy door to an office. Cullen looked up from behind a desk, startled.

"Inquisitor?"

"No time. Very lost. Send help if you don't see me at mealtime," she waved as she jogged through.

"I…" his voice faded as Ash turned and ran through one of the two doors that stood before her.

"Ah! Promising," she hissed as the main building loomed ahead. She looked over the edge to the people below, briefly considering just jumping the few stories to the ground. _But then I'll never figure out how all these places connect. And also maybe break a bone._

A hall into the main part of the castle stretched upward. She slowed her steps as she entered a large, circular room glowing with warm yellow light. Strange, elaborate paintings adorned the wall. A table stood at the center, already piled high with papers and books. Solas stood with his back to her, bent over one of the books. He crossed his arms, uncrossed them, rubbed at his chin, and sighed.

She smiled and strode up behind him.

"This isn't a bad pile of rocks," Ash remarked. He turned sharply, then relaxed at the sight of her. His eyes darted over her as he took in the new attire. His face seemed to color a shade darker. "Did I startle you?"

"No," he moved his head in a single shake, then returned his eyes to his papers. She raised an eyebrow. Even more taciturn than usual.

"I see you've made yourself at home."

"Yes," Solas nodded. "Our talks have inspired me to catch up on some reading. And to make some records of my own."

"Oh?" Ash's interest sparked. "Does that mean you'll have more stories to share soon?"

Solas's lips twitched in amusement. Whether he appreciated the attention or the chance to share his tales, Ash couldn't tell.

"I have a moment now, if you do."

She shrugged. Truth be told, she had been eager to find Blackwall, but there was no rush.

"You know I like your stories. If you've something to share, please do."

"You continue to surprise me. All right, let us talk," he moved around behind her. There was an uncharacteristic playfulness to his tone. "But I've somewhere more interesting than here in mind."

Ash wasn't sure when they'd started walking, or how they made the journey, but suddenly they were moving through a quiet, abandoned Haven. Snow fell gently around them. The sky was bright overhead.

"This is… huh. Why are we here, exactly?"

"Haven will always be important to you," Solas remarked casually over his shoulder as he strode ahead of her.

"Really? It was kind of a shithole."

He chuckled softly. He was still ahead, leading her into a dark dungeon. The coffered ceiling above cast dark blue shadows on the ground around them. Torches flickered warmly against the stone walls.

"I sat beside you while you slept, studying the anchor," his voice held a note of nostalgia.

"That must have been quick," Ash quipped.

"You flatter me," he said. "I did not uncover much. You were a mystery." He turned toward her. Ash felt him regard her with curiosity and interest. Her cheeks warmed. "You still are."

"Now who's flattering who?"

"You think I exaggerate? I ran every test I could think of, searched the Fade, yet found nothing. Cassandra grew more suspicious with each day. She threatened to have me executed."

"Cassandra doles out threats on lives like they were 'good morning's and 'how are you's," Ash said.

"Yes," Solas offered with a chuckle. He turned and walked on. Ash blew out a mildly annoyed sigh.

"I'm still waiting on this story, Solas." She followed him into the Haven courtyard.

"This _is_ your story," his voice was wistful. "You were never going to wake up. And I suspected no less. You were a mere mortal, sent physically through the Fade. How could you? I had no answers. I feared for my own life. And the spirits I might have consulted had been driven away by the Breach."

His earnestness gave Ash pause. He was right. She had never heard this side of her own story. Of his own experience while she lay comatose. By all accounts it had seemed harrowing at the time. He stopped walking and turned to her. He held her eyes with a stern, fervent expression.

"Despite my wish to help, I had no faith in Cassandra… nor she in me. I was ready to flee," he admitted. That drew another smile from Ash.

"Where to? You could no more run from the Breach than the sky. Because, well… you know."

Solas shook his head, almost bashfully.

"I am aware. I had thought I could find someplace to hide, to research, and perhaps find answers. Something to repair the Breach before its effects reached me."

Ash raised a doubtful eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest. Solas shrugged.

"I never said it was a good plan."

She laughed. He smiled, as if the sound drew it out of him. Then he turned and looked up into the sky, at the bright green tear stretching across it. The Breach still open? That seemed wrong, but his voice drew her out of her musings.

"I told myself: One more attempt to seal the rifts." She watched the back of him as he reminisced. "I tried and failed." He shook his head again, a silent reprimand. "I watched the rifts expand and grow, resigned myself to flee, and then…"

Ash's heart jumped in surprise as she felt electricity pulse through her outstretched hand, her wrist encircled in Solas's strong grip. This was the moment they closed the first rift together. They reached up to the sky in tandem, watching as the intense light flashed and coiled, fighting and losing against Ash's will to shutter it into nonexistence. She gasped as it burst one last time and faded. The recoil of energy into her hand knocked her backward onto the ground. She looked up at Solas, bewildered.

Then she was standing again. The snow was falling quietly around them. Solas paced before her, still lost in his tale. She blinked in confusion.

"And so it would seem you hold the key to our salvation," he concluded. He stopped his pacing a step from her. He tilted his head to the side, regarding her for a moment in contemplative silence. "You had sealed it with a gesture." She could hear the respect underlying his words. That, and something else. Something that made her stomach tighten and her heart quicken. "And right then, I felt the whole world change."

Her face warmed. Did he realize how he sounded?

"Naturally. No more need to flee or dwell in frustrated ignorance," she offered. Her voice shook ever so slightly. She broke away from his stare and looked down. She watched his feet step closer.

"That was one benefit," he said quietly.

"I can't say it was my plan all along, but I'm glad for it."

"I am not often surprised," he continued. He reached out and took hold of her hand to clasp between his own. She had never seen Solas act so boldly. "For all the ways this could have gone, I never expected…"

Ash looked up into his face. He stared at her hand in his. He looked confused, earnestly searching for words.

Solas had been a solid mystery to her since they met. She had never needed to know his secrets. She liked him all the same, with his quiet manner and subtle biting wit. But his mask had been slipping recently. And behind it, she had seen both a harsh, calculating mind, and a soft, aching sorrow. She knew he had grown to appreciate their talks together, but as they stood in the crisp air of Haven, her fingers warming in his gentle grasp, she felt an anxious stirring in her stomach that there was something new in his regard.

He looked back up into her face, a dimple of thought marring his brow. He shook his head and sighed.

"You change… everything."

She stared back at him boldly, keenly feeling the heat rush to her face.

She opened her mouth to speak, breathed in, and hesitated. His gaze flickered down to her lips, pinker from the cold, and he moved a fraction closer. Her fingers tightened on his hand instinctively. The sensation snapped him from whatever reverie he'd been entertaining. His eyes darted back to hers, a flicker of regret passing across them, then he looked away. The hand atop hers fell as Solas began to turn.

Ash didn't know why she did it. She was thrown by the strangeness of being back in Haven, of the intensity in Solas's voice, of the way his eyes darkened when he stared at her. She acted on instinct.

She tugged at his other hand still in hers, drawing him toward her. Solas turned back with a brow knitted in confusion as she closed the distance between them. Her other hand reached up, fingers gently trailing along his jaw to settle against the crook of his neck.

He inhaled slow and deep as if to steady himself. Ash arched up and tilted her head to meet his lips in a quick, searching kiss. She pulled back just as fast. The blush was burning her skin now. Her head rang with white noise. What had she just done? She started to shrink away, struggling to compose herself.

It was her turn to feel strong hands grasp her, fervent fingers digging into her waist as he spun her back around. She didn't resist. Ash sank into him, pressing the length of her body to his, and for a heated moment, he responded in kind. She felt his arms tremble as they tightened on her. His mouth was warm and eager against hers. She could feel the muscles of his back tense as she clenched her fingers against him, balling his tunic in her fists. They broke apart only when their lungs demanded air.

Ash leaned back, disoriented and breathing hard. Solas's skin was flushed, his jaw tensing and untensing with some inner turmoil as he searched her disheveled face with hungry eyes. He shook his head, coming to a decision, and leaned back down for another kiss. She made a small sound of acquiescence and closed her eyes, falling yet again into the feel of his skin against hers. Heat radiated off him. Had he been this warm before? Forceful hands against her hips crushed her closer to him. Fire ignited inside her. This was escalating fast. She buckled against him as desire turned her limbs to useless jelly. His face moved a fraction as he inhaled a shuddering breath, then suddenly, he stepped back, turning his head away with a short, angry grunt. Ash almost stumbled, saving herself the embarrassment of falling to the ground only thanks to fabulously honed warrior reflexes.

"We shouldn't," Solas declared breathlessly. He looked as confused as she felt. His chest rose and fell in rapid, controlled breaths.

"Huh?" she offered dumbly.

"It isn't right. Not even here," he seemed to gather his wits with each assertive statement. Ash processed his words.

"In… Haven? What?"

Her dumbfounded words drew a genuine laugh. He had almost regained full composure. The sudden shift in mood sent Ash crashing back to herself.

"Is that where you think we were?"

"Well… no. Maybe. Something's off," she scowled and looked around. "This isn't real, is it?"

"That's a matter of debate… Probably best discussed after you…" he paused for dramatic effect, " _wake up._ "

Ash bolted upward in bed. Her thoughts were a groggy, confused mess. She looked around. She was in her room at Skyhold, alone. So, it was all a dream?

She touched her lips. No. Definitely not just a dream. Her stomach went through a round of flipflops as the memories of Solas's body against hers came back in full force. It intermingled with frustration and annoyance at his sudden withdrawal.

 _But, no... He's right_ , she thought. Ash's face burned with anger at herself. Why had she lost herself so quickly? She'd never looked at Solas that way before. And did she still, now?

An image of Blackwall flashed in her memory, of him growling commands at nervous young men trying to learn how to protect their families. Of Blackwall rushing to shield a commoner who had the sore luck of being in the wrong place in the Hinterlands. Of the way he had looked at her from across the campfire the night she came back to life. Of his everpresent scowl and aloof manner, save when Ash shot him a smile. She recalled the day she surprised him with the first of many Grey Warden artifacts. His stoic façade cracked, that thick beard shifted in a rare smile, and a spark had ignited in her heart that she had yet to quench.

But Solas…

This ambivalence would not stand. Ash sighed and climbed out of bed to get dressed.

In minutes, she was padding softly along the echoing stone halls. She barely registered Varric's friendly hello as she strode past. No time for chats. She had a singular mission.

Solas was sitting at his desk when she walked in, reading to warm candlelight. _Oh, great. Mood lighting,_ Ash thought ruefully.

The elven mage stood at her approach. His eyes glinted in a cursory evaluation of her. Ash felt the hairs raise on the back of her neck and along her arms. The memory of his unhinged kiss was still vivid.

"Sleep well?" he asked in that damnable soft voice. Ash frowned.

"I can't say I feel particularly rested," she remarked dryly. "That was… a new experience. On a number of levels." Solas laughed. She was taken aback at how collected he was suddenly. The passion that had so flustered him seemed as if, appropriately, from a dream.

"Yes, well… I apologize. The kiss was impulsive and ill considered. I should not have encouraged it." It sounded almost rehearsed.

"It was certainly… something," Ash didn't understand his calm. Had it not been mere minutes earlier when he seemed for all the world like he wanted to… Her face grew hotter. "I suppose if anyone is to blame, it's me." He frowned at that.

"I… No. You are not solely responsible. I am more at ease in the Fade about some things. And it has been a long time since…" he shook his head. "I am not certain this is the best idea. It could lead to trouble."

That made little sense to Ash. When weren't they in trouble since they'd met? Regardless, something had changed. She had wanted a decisive push in some direction, and here it was.

"Then, alright," she did not meet his eyes. His cool manner made it easier to erect a wall against the feelings he evoked. And he did make her… feel things. But so did Blackwall. "This is perhaps for the best."

She exhaled a sigh and took a step toward the door. Solas's eyes were fixed on her. He clenched his jaw tightly against the words bubbling up in his throat. It was better this way.

"Indeed. I appreciate that," he said. She was walking toward the exit without a backward glance. His voice dropped in volume. He wondered if she even heard him. "And I will always remember a surprising moment stolen in a dream."


	5. Battles, Banter, and Blackwall

_**One gauntlet thrown down. Time for the next! But Ashiril isn't going to let this one go without a fight.**_

 _ **Also, foreshadowing of our lovely Champion and her sweet, murderously angry elf. There are some troubling characters in these series, y'all.**_

The days were not slow. Ash could not step foot in public for longer than a few moments before someone was bending her ear for a bit of news, a request, a task, _something._ She had gone out on a few missions, some of them with Blackwall, but she had yet to capture a moment alone with the stoic warrior. He seemed almost to keep this distance. It might have bothered her, were she not so busy.

She'd gone out of her way to acquaint herself with the crafting masters and their new appointments at Skyhold. She had recruited Master Dennet to care for the horses, on behalf of some subtle manipulation by Dorian.

Ash liked the Tevinter mage. He grew on her with each passing quip and biting observation. Bit of a flirt, but she didn't blame him. He _was_ dashing.

And Cole… Ash was glad she'd allowed the strange spirit to stay, despite what Vivienne and Cassandra might fear. He was unusual, to be sure, but there was a unique sincerity about him that Ash valued. Not to mention how his conversations with her companions entertained her. Solas had seemed to appreciate her decision.

Solas. He had settled easily into their comfortable rapport again, after their unexpected encounter in the fade. Ash still hadn't decided if it was more a relief or an annoyance. Regardless, she was glad he did not shy from their conversations. She would have regretted so easy a loss of his friendship.

And Varric… was he leaving copies of his books all over the castle on purpose? Or was he really that famous? She made a mental note to flip through one of his stories when she had a spare moment.

Speaking of Varric, he had mentioned someone who could help them understand Corypheus. Ash should have spoken to him two days ago. She knew she was putting it off. She just wanted things to be more in order first, before taking the next big step. She was going to get this leader thing right.

But the Empress' ball was fast approaching. They were making progress, closing down a few more rifts and searching for a few more items on behalf of Vivienne, Solas, and Blackwall, but it was time to press forward.

"We should head to Skyhold soon," Ash announced to Sera, Blackwall, and Solas as they strode along the lush greenery of the Emerald Graves.

"Fairbanks'll be cross," Sera snickered. Ash shrugged.

"We'll be back. I just have some other things to- heads up!"

A rift announced its presence with an angry green boom and crackle. So many conversations rudely interrupted by something wanting to kill them.

Ash swung her massive axe from her back and arched it overhead in a heavy swing that crashed down on the demon advancing toward her. Blackwall was at her side in a flash, stamping his foot and erecting a wall barrier that filtered the enemies toward their waiting sword and axe. She cast him an approving smile before spinning into another blow. Blue light burst around them as Solas replenished their barriers. Arrows whistled by her head, feathering the formless faces of the rift monsters Ash could not yet reach.

"Nice one!" she heard the archer crow as Ash grabbed the opportunity Sera's distraction provided to severe the leg of one lanky green demon.

She growled in pain as one of the floating ranged bastards blasted her with goo. She ran forward, swinging her weapon in deadly arcs, swatting monsters around her. She heard them stagger behind her, stunned but not down, and smiled as blasts of cold erupted in her wake. Solas. Cleaning up her mess, no doubt.

"Ash, you're too far out!" she heard the mage snap angrily. She snickered to herself as her muscles burned with swing after swing. Adrenaline emboldened her. She felt talons sting into her side and she roared angrily, driving the butt of her axe behind her to make contact with whatever had assaulted her. She turned to finish the job, but it was already smoldering and peppered in arrows. A brief silence fell, apart from the crackling of the rift overhead.

Ash scanned the battlefield. Her blood thrummed steadily in her ears. She looked to her side and saw Blackwall watching her. His sword was lowered and his eyes shone with wary admiration and… Her stare snapped to the large, molten figure as it rose from the ground just beyond the distracted warrior.

"Blackwall, down!" Ash barked as she sprinted toward him. He reacted on instinct, ducking as she advanced. Her grip tightened on the hard leather hilt of her great axe. The demon was closing on Blackwall as she reached him. Ash was side by side with the human as she vaulted off her lead foot, using the momentum of her charge and the angle of his body to roll across his back, swinging the axe overhead with a roar. It crashed down on the demon, her driving it further as she sprang into a squat on the other side of Blackwall.

The elven warrior scanned once more, then whirled toward the breach in the sky and bore her hand to it. It cracked angrily, slowly and reluctantly acquiescing in a final brilliant flash as it closed forever.

Ash turned back to the group, breathing heavily. Sera was grinning widely and sniggering. Solas gripped his staff and watched her with his standard cool, unreadable stare. Blackwall was stunned.

"You're mad!" the human finally declared in a breathy chortle. She flashed a wide, toothy smile at the bemused warrior.

"And you're just jealous your clunky buckets don't allow you the grace my elegant armor affords me," she balanced the axe on its head long enough for an impromptu pirouette before snatching it up again.

"I can't understand why you would wear such flimsy armor and rush into the fray as you do," his tone had an edge of concern. She would have guessed it wasn't the first time he'd thought on it. She shrugged.

"I like the freedom of movement," Ash sheathed her axe and broke into a jog as if to accentuate her point.

"She's right about that," Sera agreed.

"I like the freedom of having all my limbs intact," Blackwall grumbled.

"He is not wrong to be concerned," Solas chimed in for perhaps the first time that day. Ash glanced back at his expressionless face. "You put yourself at risk." She blew an exasperated breath out her nose.

"What else do you know that barrier spell for?"

"To keep Sera and myself from imminent doom when melee is engaged!"

"Ach," she waved dismissively. The criticism of her fighting style was irking her.

"I'm just saying," Blackwall seemed to sense her irritation, "that even the best of us can get overwhelmed. No need to take unnecessary risks."

She chewed her lip a thoughtful moment.

"Tell you what," Ash turned to the human. Her eyes narrowed mischievously. "You beat me back to camp, and I'll let you choose a new set of armor for me."

"That's not-" he began, but the elf had broken into a light-footed run. Blackwall cursed and lurched after her, growling continued obscenities under his breath. Solas and Sera exchanged eyerolls.

"She can wear what she likes, far as I care," Sera shrugged.

"She surely will."

They made it back to Skyhold midday. Solas stalked off to his quarters almost immediately. Sera took Ash's arm and pulled her toward the tavern.

"Let's have a drink, yeah? I've seen you runnin' lately. Could use a sit."

Ash glanced over her shoulder. She caught Blackwall watching after them. He dropped his eyes to his hands when he noticed her, then back to the sky.

It _had_ been a long few days.

"Alright," she acquiesced. Sera made a happy sound and hopped through the open tavern door. "Let's make Iron Bull buy."

Some time later they were gathered around a table with the Bull and Varric, who had just wrapped up a tale of traipsing through the Deep Roads under Kirkwall. The Champion and he had made a narrow escape after being locked underground, with a harrowing near-miss casualty of the Champion's mage sister. She'd only been saved through recruitment as a Grey Warden, and their relationship was forever marred. It ended on an uncharacteristically somber note, as Varric's stories went.

"Eh," Sera shuddered as if shaking off an unpleasant sensation. "Mages. Can't help but steppin' in it. Born with it on their foot."

"I'd bet my shit-foot against any mage, at this point," Ash countered. Sera snorted. Her eyes narrowed in sudden interest and she leaned forward against the table.

"Speaking of… you and Solas, yeah?"

Ash felt the color drain from her face. Her eyes darted to each companion, but Bull and Varric looked innocently expectant.

"What of it?"

Sera eyed Ash suspiciously, then leaned back against her chair.

"Look, you're the frigging Herald of Andraste. You've got weights on your shoulders," she shrugged and took a drink. "So, when you start eyeing one way more than the others, makes me wonder. Come on, then. He calls you _Ash._ "

Had it been that obvious? Ash had been so focused on her duties lately. Just how close of attention were people paying to her?

"I… we might have had a disagreement. But it's been dealt with," Ash admitted. Varric's eyebrows shot up.

"With Chuckles? What happened?"

"Nothing!" Ash's voice pitched up half an octave. She scowled. Iron Bull belted out a laugh. "He frustrated me. I'm sure that's no stretch for you to imagine. And I forgave him. And here we are, addressing gossip."

"Too right, probably," Sera winked at Varric. "I mean, she's bad at it, but I've seen the Warden. _There's_ something."

Ash hated how easy blushes showed on her olive skin. This tavern needed to be darker.

"Do what you like!" Sera raised her hands defensively. "I just wanted to know with which. I like you, and I don't really like Solas. Need to get my tabs straight, is all."

"Right. Thanks?"

"Your back and me," Sera crossed two fingers over each other and she winked.

Ash wasn't sure what just happened. She stared across the table at Bull and Varric's amused smirks.

"Nothing happened," she hissed.

Iron Bull's massive shoulders lifted in a shrug.

"That's too bad. We could all use some unwinding from time to time," he mused.

"Very true. I used to say the same thing to an old friend. Back in Kirkwall. Angry elf. You kind of remind me of him, Eggshells," Varric chuckled at some memory. "Now, there's a top that could _not_ be unwound. He had the most eligible woman in Kirkwall at his feet, and instead of living in the moment, he pined for years. Fought next to her day in and night out, ignored that she hadn't taken on any of her many suitors, and brooded alone in his mansion."

"Hang on," Sera snorted. "His _mansion?_ "

"His very own. Went from being a Tevinter slave to living in a mansion, having the respect of Kirkwall, more money than he needed, and the love of a woman he spurned for… well, I'm not sure. She never did explain that one to me."

"Piss. Sounds like an idiot."

"Worked out for him in the end, I suppose. They should be on their… shit. _Fourth_ year together? Has it been that long?"

"Wait. The wanker still got her?" Sera blew a raspberry. "Not sure who's more of a tit in that story."

Varric laughed.

"You can ask her yourself about it, if you like. She'll be here soon enough."

"You're talking about the Champion?" Ash perked up from her drink. Varric shied at her words and glanced over his shoulder. No doubt making sure Cassandra wasn't in earshot.

"Shh, yeah. But… keep it down. I'd rather this be a secret for as long as possible," he said.

"Wise to bring it up over drinks, then," Iron Bull remarked.

"Look, I've been in this tavern awhile. Mistakes happen."

"Wait, tell me more about this broody-pants and his mansion and all his gold and lovers falling over him," Sera brought it back. "I mean, what a tit!"

Varric laughed again, long and loud this time, at some secret joke.

"Oooh, I wish Hawke had been here for that. Yeah, alright, Buttercup," he wiped at his eye. "But you may not hate him as much when I'm through."

Ash walked from the tavern a few hours later, a very slight stumble to her steps. She wasn't drunk, but she'd let Iron Bull convince her to more than was maybe wise. His enthusiasm for toasts was just so _catching._ The buzz was pleasant, especially as she gazed around the darkening camp and breathed in the crisp mountain air.

She felt a brief, unexpected pang of longing for the forest. No wonder. She had expected to be back home weeks ago. Who even knew if she might make it back at all.

Her eyes wandered to the stone stairs leading up to the ramparts. She wasn't ready for bed. Ash moved toward and up them, her mind wandering to home again.

The view at the ramparts was spectacular, as ever. She could make out the bright outline of the sun as it descended behind the distant clouds wrapping around mountain peaks.

She wondered what her brother, Theolan, had made of the news she had sent the clan. He had not sent letters in return. Her stomach tightened as a thought struck her, that maybe he never intended to send any letters. He had always been protective. It would not surprise her if he just showed up one day, allies in tow, without a second thought to anything but her safety. And then, of course, she'd never let him risk his own life for her. And the head-butting would begin. What a mess that would be.

Her ear twitched as footsteps approached from behind. They slowed, tentative.

"Approach," she said crisply. There was a hesitation, then the steps obeyed. She caught the scent of sawdust and pine. Her eyes widened.

"I don't mean to disturb you, my lady," Blackwall said apologetically as he approached.

"No apologies necessary," she smiled and turned to greet him, ignoring the sudden flutter of her stomach. "I was just admiring the view."

"Are you well?" he seemed to search for some opening to conversation. She almost laughed, but she feared it would drive him back into his shell.

"Well enough," she reached out and touched his arm in a brief, friendly gesture. "I'm glad you found me. I've been meaning to speak to you."

"Oh? Some matter on your mind?" he coughed.

"Always," she shrugged, then looked back out at the horizon. "And nothing of import. It is enough to share a quiet moment."

"A well-earned break, I'm sure," he leaned against a slab of stone and looked out over the mountains with her.

"For how long, who can say?" she said acerbically.

"Aye," he sighed. "But we stand at the ready this time." His eyes narrowed in a scowl. She could see the gears working, plotting future clashes with their enemy. "When and if Corypheus strikes again, we'll be ready. I've seen how much we've accomplished… how much _you've_ accomplished in just a matter of days."

She turned her head slightly toward him.

"Thank you," Ash said. She was surprised how much his belief in her calmed her. Perhaps it was that he was a warrior with his own renown. She had heard many tales of his own bravery from the people in the Hinterlands as they searched for him. "I sometimes am… unconvinced I've done enough."

"You've only just started," Blackwall turned toward her. His broad shoulders handsomely filled out his modest bark-colored tunic. The padding belied the muscular form she was sure laid beneath. "And we're already more than we were."

Damn, if he wasn't endearing. His presence alone made her feel warm and light-headed. Or was that the ale? _Get it together, Ash._

"Your confidence is inspiring," Ash gave him a crooked grin.

"In no small part thanks to you," he countered. The man simply could not take credit. "We stand with you, Inquisitor. Against this threat, or any other."

"You say that," the elf shook her head, sending her auburn braid tumbling against her back. "But we're not ready for Corypheus." Blackwall thumped a fist forcefully against his palm.

"Corypheus be damned. I'll take the twisted bastard down myself," he growled, "even if I have to die to do it."

Ash's eyes narrowed. She didn't doubt his proclamation for a moment. A fire sparked in her gut.

"Blackwall, I'm not losing anyone to that monster," she stepped closer and encircled his fist with her hand, pushing it down firmly. "Especially not you." Her fingers twitched atop his hand. Her stomach flipped when she felt his move against hers in response.

The big man seemed taken aback by the sudden steel in her voice and the warm hand on his. He cleared his throat.

"You can't… My lady, I'm a soldier," he affirmed, "no different than any soldier lost at Haven."

He opened his mouth to continue, but hesitated. His blue eyes searched her face, seeking some give in her stern expression.

"No different?" she scoffed softly. Blackwall's thick eyebrows shifted down, and for a moment, he looked lost for words. Then he shook his head and clenched his jaw.

"I am… fond of you," the admission fought its way out of his throat. Ash's blood pounded a little louder in her ears. "It's true." He stepped back and dropped her hand. "But we can't let this go any further."

Ash blinked slow and long, as if waking from a heavy nap.

 _Are… you… kidding me?_

"This – whatever you want this to be – is impossible," Blackwall was saying.

Ash was a fool about some things. But she saw the longing in his eyes. She caught his fists clenching and pulsing nervously at his sides.

 _No,_ she thought. _Not so easily this time._

"Impossible, is it? You've been paying attention, yes?" she took a step forward for the step he'd taken back. Her voice dipped lower. "Impossible is what I do."

"My lady, don't," he waved his hands between them, drawing an invisible line. "You're the Inquisitor. The Herald o-"

"I know what they call me," Ash interrupted quietly. Her golden eyes were narrowed like arrow slits, never leaving Blackwall's face. He struggled to hold her gaze.

"I know," he echoed. "And you know the people still arrive daily. Ready to fight for you. Ready to die."

Blackwall turned abruptly and put space between them. He needed space. He didn't trust himself if she were to reach out, and...

Ash held her ground. She watched him move in the dim light of evening. His body was coiled with tension.

"We must remain focused on the task at hand," he finally continued. The distance had emboldened his voice. When he turned back to her, his words were firmer.

Her expression was softer now, almost sad as she gazed at him. The firelight from below danced alongside the dying sunlight on her face.

"I care for you," she began in a steady voice, "just as much as I do them. Can't you just accept it?"

For a moment, his mind went blank.

Here was this strong, beautiful woman he had quickly grown to appreciate fighting with side by side. He already trusted her with his life. Why couldn't he accept that?

"Blackwall?" her voice called him back. His forehead knitted together with stoic resolve.

Of course. That was why.

"I wish it were simple. Believe me, I do," he said gruffly. "But it's not."

"It's the title, isn't it? I should've made my move back at Haven?" she said playfully. He chuckled ruefully.

"We both have a duty now. Our lives aren't ours to live," he nodded.

"Speak for yourself," she took a step toward him, then another. Blackwall looked up and stiffened. Her eyes were half-hooded with intent. Her pale rose lips slightly parted as she inhaled to speak again. The cold had pinkened her nose and cheeks, and loose strands of auburn hair floated alluringly across her face. His blood responded, igniting in his veins and mirroring the desire he saw in Ash.

He quickly backed up a few steps, shaking his head stubbornly.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be," he growled as he turned, in full retreat.

Ash slowed. She sighed. She watched him hasten down the steps and move quickly across the yard toward the barn. She pressed her hands to the hard stone as she leaned forward, keeping track of his form. He was almost to the rustic building in which he'd taken up residence.

She barked a quiet laugh to herself when Blackwall's head swiveled around once, searching and finding her staring down at him. Even from afar, she could see how quickly he looked away.

"Game on, Blackwall," she murmured to the silence of the darkening ramparts.


	6. A Wild Hawke Appears

_**Now introducing Zinnia Hawke, the dual-wielding Champion of Kirkwall and paramour of a brooding ex-slave elven warrior! Enjoy as she shows up briefly to not really help much, but, hey, maybe there's a new lead! Meanwhile, Ash continues to give this leadership thing a shot.**_

Ashiril's mind was elsewhere that morning as the advisors gave their reports around the war table. Some renown here, an amulet there, the latest news from an agent in Val Royeaux, a letter from King Alistair… Wait. Ash perked up at that.

"The King of Ferelden wrote us?"

"Indeed," Leliana offered the parchment to the curious elf. Ash scanned the document, snorting with amusement.

"Ah, yes. The handsome blonde fellow who kicked us out of Redcliffe. Well, that's gracious of him," she handed the letter back.

"Don't let the Hero hear you say that," the spymaster murmured beneath her breath.

"Say what?"

"Leliana knows both the King and the Hero of Ferelden personally," Josephine offered. "She traveled with them during the blight. And she is just joking."

Ash was impressed.

"Well, of course you'd have an intimidating past I know nothing about."

"The matter remains, shall we lend aid against these Venatori?" the spymaster continued. Ash nodded.

"Of course. Leliana, do you have a suggestion?"

"I have just the agent in mind," the redhead bestowed a deadly smile that sent a shudder through Ash. She did her job well.

"So… excellent. Good then," she rubbed her hands together. "Cullen and Josephine, you have things in order for now as well, I believe?"

"Inquisitor," Cullen bowed in acknowledgment.

"Of course," the Antivan didn't even look up from her notes.

"Then if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment," Ash bowed and left. The three advisors exchanged knowing glances.

"Has Cassandra really not put that one together yet?" Cullen asked.

"Soon enough," Leliana said.

Ash padded quietly through the great hall, catching snippets of gossip as she went. Her eyes darted to the table at which Varric normally sat. He was missing. She pressed her lips together, hoping she wasn't very late for the meeting.

The dwarf had been abnormally skittish about this entire arrangement. Something to do with Cassandra, and how she would "wring his neck" if she found out, or so he maintained. Ash didn't like keeping the her in the dark. She enjoyed the warrior's company, and it was unsettling to keep secrets from any of her inner circle. But juggling desires was part of her new skillset as Inquisitor. May as well start honing those skills now, among friends who might be more inclined to forgive her glaring mistakes.

She knew some stories of this Champion. She knew the trials Kirkwall had undergone. It had been a battleground for a Qunari invasion at one point, that the Champion spearheaded defeating. More importantly, it was the catalyst for the mage rebellion, after an apostate destroyed a huge Chantry building, taking many lives in the process. Anders. Varric had known him. _Cullen_ had known him. Ash forgot how strangely small their circle was sometimes.

Varric had seen so many things before this breach ever threatened them all. The greatest threat Ash had faced before this had been werewolves. No easy thing, but comparatively, it paled.

Ash blinked against the bright and cloudless sky as she climbed the ramparts to their meeting point. Birds called out overhead. It was beautiful out today. Her eyes darted around the bustling crowds below, searching for a familiar widow's peak and beard among the many faces. Wherever Blackwall was hiding, she would have to root him out later.

Ash crossed to another small set of stairs leading down and saw Varric waiting. Next to him stood a tall, handsome woman clad in red and silver gear of metal and leather. Two long, jagged daggers were fixed in scabbards to her muscular back. The woman turned as Ash approached.

She had a shock of messy black hair that swept across her brow. Thick black eyebrows offset piercing, bright green eyes that regarded the elven warrior with a measured appraisal. A gash of dark red ink splashed across the bridge of her aquiline nose. Thick dark lips twisted up at one corner in a neutral greeting.

"Inquisitor," Varric began introductions. His voice rang with some pride. "Meet Zinnia Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall."

"Though I don't use that title much, anymore," the Champion added in a sultry voice.

"Hawke," Varric motioned warmly to Ash, "the Inquisitor. I figured you might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. You and I did fight him, after all."

"Unsuccessfully, it would seem," Hawke remarked. The woman raised an eyebrow at Ash. The elf might normally be offended at such a silent appraisal, but Hawke had an easy air about her. She leaned against the battlement and gazed out over Skyhold.

"I understand you've already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I'm unconvinced I can top that. Considering I already tried to kill him once."

"Oh, I don't know," Ash shrugged and moved next to the rogue. "You did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari. That's got to count for something."

"Depends. Do you happen to have a horde of rampaging Qunari on hand?"

"There's _a_ Qunari. He's almost a horde all by himself," Ash admitted, "but he's on our side."

Hawke spread her fingers wide.

"So, then. Where does that leave us?"

"Well," Ash hadn't quite known how to prepare for this. What _did_ she expect? "You've fought Corypheus before, correct?"

"Fought and killed," Hawke straightened and turned her steady, unblinking gaze on Ash. "He had a hold on a group of Grey Wardens at the time, somehow."

A cloud settled on Ash's thoughts.

"So that could be happening again. With the disappeared Wardens." And it could happen to Blackwall. Ash didn't like the sound of that at all.

"It would reason so," Hawke nodded.

"Could we free them?"

"It's possible," the woman was hesitant, "but we need to know more first."

"Go on."

"I've got a friend in the Wardens," Hawke began. Ash recalled Varric's story from the other night, of the Wardens that had saved Hawke's mage sister from certain death. Stroud. Hawke had not heard from him since his last message expressing concern over corruption in the Warden ranks. Ominous.

"Did Stroud disappear with the other Wardens?" Varric asked what Ash was thinking.

"No," Hawke was firm. "He told me he'd be hiding in a smuggler's cave near Crestwood." Ash felt her stomach sink a little. Crestwood. Rain, and more rain. She'd had enough of that while rescuing the soldiers from the Fallow Mire.

"Then that leaves an obvious course of action," Ash decided. The human rogue nodded.

"I'm glad you agree. Corypheus is my responsibility." The elf blinked in surprise at that. "I thought I'd killed him before. No. I know I did. I'm not sure why he's back, but… I will correct that."

 _Huh. That seems personal._

"The more the merrier," Ash offered cheerfully. Hawke looked from her to Varric. The dwarf shrugged.

"She's not wrong. Well. Except maybe in Blondie's case."

"If we're done here, is there a place I can restock before I head to Crestwood?" Hawke asked. Varric nodded, and the three of them moved to the stairs and headed toward the tavern.

"So, where's Broody?" Varric asked Hawke. Ash looked back to watch the Champion smile and shake her head.

"You know Fenris would get himself killed trying to protect me. I decided not to give him the chance."

"Huh," the dwarf was surprised. "Then you just… left?" The Champion shrugged, but offered no details. Varric barked a laugh. "Well, _that's_ not going to go over well. I hope he doesn't track you down while I'm within a mile's radius."

"Please don't remind me," she groaned. "I'm still not sure how I'm going to deal with that fallout. Die beforehand, I suppose." Ash's brow crinkled curiously.

"What are you talking about?"

Varric jerked a thumb in Hawke's direction.

"This bright one decided the best way to deal with her overprotective significant other - who, by the way, is a serious swordsman and one of those scary breeds of unpredictable - was to apparently leave in the dead of night without so much as a word," he chuckled in disbelief. Hawke's eyes widened defensively.

"I never said it was without a word! Or at night. Stop embellishing," she protested.

"Whatever. Eggshells, if you see an angry white-haired elf named Fenris with lyrium tattoos anywhere near Skyhold, first, you let me know. Second, run," Varric advised. Ash blinked rapidly.

"Lyrium tattoos?" she repeated.

"He's not that bad," Hawke grumbled. Varric fell back a step behind the Champion and mouthed emphatically to Ash that he was, indeed, very much that bad.

They helped Hawke stock up on a few things before wishing her well and promising to meet soon in Crestwood. Varric waited till his old friend had disappeared beyond the other side of Skyhold's bridge, then turned to Ash.

"There's a start for you," he said.

"Thank you for the introduction, Varric," Ash knew he was protective of his friend. "Hopefully it will lead to answers."

"No kidding," the dwarf snorted. "Alright, I've got a few things to take care of. Let me know if you think of anything else you want to know."

She nodded and watched him go. Ash mulled over the meeting. At the least, they had a lead for answers. So… about where they started the day. She snorted.

She was walking back to the main hall when she heard a distant clamor and crash. Her brow furrowed. Ash followed the commotion to a largely unused room and heard shouts echoing from overhead.

"You're damned right, I did!" Varric barked out defiantly.

"You conniving little shit!" came Cassandra's angry retort. More sounds of furniture breaking. Ash picked up speed.

"You kidnapped and interrogated me!" Varric ran around a table for cover as Ash arrived, standing midway between them. "What did you expect?!"

"Both of you, enough!" Ash snapped. They turned, breathing heavy from adrenaline.

After a beat, Cassandra sneered accusations at Varric, at how his lies cost them Hawke, and perhaps Most Holy herself. If he had only led them to Hawke, then maybe…

"It's not Varric's fault," Ash said, firmly, but gently.

"I was protecting my friend," Varric wasn't backing down.

Cassandra shook her head angrily.

"Even after the Conclave, even when we needed help desperately, you kept her hidden. You liar. You _snake._ "

"Well, she's here now," Varric snapped back.

"You don't care what you've done," she hissed. "You care only for yourself. That much is clear."

"Stop this. This will help no one," Ash demanded. Her heart was pounding.

"Hah!" Varric shot. The elf turned her glower on him.

"And _you_ better not be keeping anything else from us," she threatened. His triumphant smirk faded. He dropped his eyes.

"I understand."

Cassandra turned her back and moved a few steps away. She seemed calmer now, but tense. Ash and Varric exchanged looks. The elf motioned with her chin toward the door. Varric scowled, sighed, and nodded. He started to leave, paused, and turned back. His voice was firm, but quavered slightly with some strong emotion.

"You know what I think? If Hawke had been at the temple, she'd be dead too." He turned and left without another sound.

Ash approached Cassandra slowly. She stood quietly next to the warrior in silence for a few moments. She wasn't quite sure how to handle this. Two people she had come to consider as friends, so full of rage at each other. And for good reason.

"I am such a fool," the warrior sighed. "I believed him. Every word of his story… His _fiction._ If I could have just made him understand, then maybe…" She shook her head. Her powerful shoulders slumped low. She was more deflated than Ash had ever seen her. "But I didn't. I just fought him."

Ash sat down across from her. What to say?

"Well… we go with our strengths." Ash winced.

Cassandra looked up into her friend's face. She was calmer now.

"I should have been more careful. Smarter," she held Ash's eyes with a clear certainty. "I don't deserve to be here."

The elf snorted. Cassandra's eyebrows quirked upwards in mild surprise.

"Have you looked at our group lately? We're all fools here," Ash leaned back, folded her hands on her lap, and shrugged.

The human didn't even try to suppress a snort of laughter.

"And I am supposed to feel better, then?"

"More at home, maybe."

Cassandra sighed, reached out, and clasped the elf's hand with hers.

"I want you to know, I have no regrets. Things seem to have… worked out in a way I did not expect," she stood. "Perhaps I should take that as a lesson that I know next to nothing." Ash stood with her and gently clasped the woman's hand in return.

"You know enough. I'd trust you to stand in front of a dragon any day."

The woman laughed ruefully.

Ash took a step closer.

"I mean it," her voice held no room for compromise, "We would not be here, if not for you. No one deserves to be here more."

Ash found Varric a short time later, brooding warily in his usual spot. She eased his concerns that Cassandra wasn't planning to murder him… at least not over this, not today. Then, to her surprise, the dwarf apologized. For keeping Hawke from them, for withholding so much. Ash listened and nodded. She understood. She didn't say so, but erring on the side of distrust, opting to hide loved ones rather than risk them for an unfamiliar cause… Ash doubted she would have acted much differently.

After that mess was cleaned up as much as it could be, Ash walked the grounds. She made small talk with the people and surveyed their progress. She needed to stay more in touch. She needed to show her people, the people risking their lives for their cause, that she cared, that she was paying attention. That even if they had differences, she was _present._

Maybe it wouldn't matter for some things, but it was a start. By dusk, her feet were aching and her mouth was dry. She made her way to the tavern and smiled to see the friendly faces of Cullen, Iron Bull, and a few soldiers already settled in.

Ash ordered an ale and took a seat next to the Commander, who seemed mildly surprised that she had joined him.

"Good evening, Inquisitor," he offered. "Another long day?"

"Is there any other kind?" she smirked. Ash paused, bit her lip, and cocked her head to one side. "Um, Cullen? Commander. Cullen."

"Hm?" he responded, mid-swig from his tankard.

"What can you tell me about Fenris?"


	7. Onward, to Crestwood and Jealousy

_**First off, the Inquisitor should've been able to chase Blackwall down harder about the Wardens. "Corypheus doesn't bother you? All the other wardens have disappeared. Like, ALL of them."  
"Nah, I'm good."  
"Really?"  
"How dare you."  
So, that's different. Also, the love triangle is getting played hard. It just doesn't make sense that you can have a romance that shakes the foundation of SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER (you get me), and then those feelings don't rear their head ever again if you break it off early. So, we're going to play with that.**_

"Are you certain you want me to do this?" Cassandra was skeptical.

"I'd trust no other," Ash said firmly.

The elven warrior had called Cassandra to her private chambers to discuss preparations for the coming journey to Crestwood. Ash had been making so much progress elsewhere, she was loath to simply put it all on hold. And it made no sense to leave so many capable people at Skyhold with nothing to do.

"I will not shirk from duty, but… Sera? Vivienne? _And Iron Bull?_ "

"I have the utmost faith in you, Cas. Now help me with this buckle," the elf turned to hide her smirk. Cassandra sighed loudly and obliged, putting the finishing touches on Ash's armor. The Inquisitor _did_ have faith in Cassandra's ability to lead. She also a keen interest in the stories Iron Bull and Sera would tell of Cassandra's exasperation at the tavern after they'd all regrouped. She was learning to find small pleasures in this leadership role.

"And who will be accompanying you to Crestwood?" the Seeker asked dryly.

Ash frowned as she adjusted the axe on her back. She had heard rumors of what was going on in Crestwood. If it was overrun with spirits and demons, that was a point in Solas's favor. Dorian wouldn't be pleased to be left behind yet again, but she'd make it up to him. Besides, she trusted few with the magical integrity of Skyhold as she trusted him.

She wanted to get to know Cole a little better as well. Varric had already gone ahead to meet Hawke. That left Blackwall.

"I'll be bringing Cole, Solas, and Blackwall," Ash said decisively. She moved to the exit with Cassandra at her side. "If you wouldn't mind letting some of the soldiers know, I have something to discuss with the Warden before we go."

"Of course, Inquisitor." Any other opinions Cassandra had on the matter were expertly hidden. Ash liked the Seeker, but she made a mental note to get her out to the tavern sometime, if only to see a little behind that mask of duty. Almost worse than Cullen…

Ash stopped in on the War Room to check any news and, finding nothing of serious import, headed at a brisk pace out the main hall, down the massive entrance steps, and across the yard toward the barn Blackwall had claimed as his own.

She had spoken to him a few times since their conversation on the ramparts. Always in other company, usually about business. And she'd seen Blackwall was not the stone and stillness his previous declaration had seemed to promise. He had walls, but they wavered every time he looked at Ash.

She caught sight of Blackwall chopping wood from afar. He had gathered a stack of logs in his arms and was carrying them inside when she reached the barn entrance. The Warden saw her, set the wood aside and wiped a sleeve across his reddened brow.

"Good morning," Ash smiled warmly. The Warden flushed very faintly.

"To you, too, my Lady," he said gruffly. "What can I do for you?"

"I take it you've heard some of what we've learned from Hawke?"

"I have," he nodded. "The Chargers have been acting as your unofficial news hub. I just drop into the tavern to get the latest if I haven't seen you or one of your advisors," he chuckled.

"Oh. Well," Ash hadn't known that. "That works. So, then you know I'll be heading to Crestwood soon."

"Today, is it?"

"Yes. I've asked Cassandra if she would continue some missions while I'm away, to keep up our momentum," Ash could feel people watching them. She wondered what gossip was being spread. She'd have to ask Varric. Maybe Cole? Maker. No, definitely Varric. "And since Crestwood is the next step to understanding what is happening to the Wardens, I wanted to know if you'd care to join me?"

"Of course," the warrior said without hesitation. "Wherever you need me."

"I appreciate your enthusiasm. It's just… I also wanted to ask…" Ash moved further into the barn, around the corner for a little more privacy. Blackwall took the hint and stepped closer. She stared at him with concerned gold eyes. She'd been wondering this, but hadn't figured out the most diplomatic way to ask. Best to plunge in. "How are you? With the Calling?"

"Ah. That," he crossed his arms and shook his head. "You don't need to worry about me, my lady. I do not fear the Calling." Ash clenched her fists nervously.

"I don't doubt that, but that's not what I mean," she pressed. She had learned in Haven how abrupt Blackwall could be about his past. If there were too many questions, he shut down. "I'm sure other Grey Wardens were also stalwart. And yet they've disappeared. You're the only one we've found."

She saw the warning signs as he bristled and straightened his back.

"As I've said, I was alone in the wilderness. I've explained before why I don't know what's happened to the other Wardens."

"I know that," Ash raised a hand, "but you can't be surprised that it's a point of concern."

Blackwall's expression hardened.

"Is it?"

Uh oh. Annoyance sparked in Ash. She felt words bubbling up, impolitic and sharp.

"Should I not investigate curiosities amongst my ranks?" her tone was crisp. "Should I trust you implicitly, because we've survived some harsh times? Because I _like you?_ As Hawke trusted the mage, Anders? As Andraste trusted her husband, Maferath?"

She could see the whites of Blackwall's startled eyes.

"I… that's a bit of a stretch…" he began.

"I do trust you, Blackwall," Ash interrupted. She closed the distance between them until she was glaring up into his half-shocked, half-defensive face. "But, in all honesty, I don't know much about you. And people depend on me."

The fog of her outburst started to clear from her mind. For a moment, in the taut silence that followed, she wondered if he might bark an obedient response and withdraw into sullen silence. Ash braced for it as the storm gathered across his face and his jaw tightened.

Then he fell back a step with a harsh grunt. His aggressive stance slackened.

"You're right," he growled. "I may not like it, but… I understand." His hard stare snapped back up to her face. "It's not, ah... the most pleasant situation. But I promise you, my lady. Corypheus has no power over me. Perhaps that's because I _know_ what he is. Maybe the other Wardens just don't know what we do."

"Then… I believe you. And we'll figure this out together, Blackwall. We shall leave shortly," Ash said authoritatively. She turned and started to leave, paused, and looked back. "Sorry I yelled at you."

The elf turned and walked away quickly before the Warden could get in another word.

That went better than expected.

Ash climbed the stairs upward. She still had to find Cole and Solas. How does one even find Cole? Sera mentioned something about him hanging out in the attic of-

"I am right here," a soft voice at her shoulder announced as she reached the apex of the stairs.

"Ah!" Ash whirled and narrowly stopped herself punching the bewildered face of Cole the spirit.

"I'm sorry!" he said, shrinking back against the stone outcropping.

"It's alright," she started laughing as her heart slowed. "I was looking for you, actually."

"I know," he nodded. Ash frowned. She opened her mouth to continue, then paused. _I wonder…_

"Do you… know why?"

"Are we leaving?"

"Well… soon. Would you like to come?"

"Yes!"

"Good, then," she grinned. "Let me go grab Solas, and we'll be off." Well, that was easy. A little creepy, maybe.

Solas was bent over his desk, flipping through manuscripts as usual. She gave him a wide berth as she walked around the table to make her presence known. He caught sight of her, straightened, and gave her a smile devoid of eye wrinkles.

"Inquisitor," he greeted.

"I never asked, how did you feel about our time in the Fallow Mire?" she dove right in. Solas's nose wrinkled.

"We shared a bonfire for our clothes," he said curtly.

"And if I never thanked you for that, thank you. Which brings me to the reason for my visit," he quirked an eyebrow at her, "Care to join me in Crestwood? The rumors are that it's overrun with demons and spirits."

"And you seek my knowledge," he finished.

"Who better?"

He shrugged as if, naturally.

"Very well. Lead on."

"There's no guarantee we'll find much of anything, really," Ash continued as Solas gathered his things and followed her out. "Perhaps we will just meet with Hawke's Warden and go on from there. But the rumors don't sit well with me."

They emerged in the bright afternoon and headed down the stairs toward Skyhold's massive gate. Solas blinked against the sun's glare, and as his sight adjusted, he noticed the pair waiting at the exit.

"Cole and the Warden are joining us?"

"I want to get to know Cole better," Ash cast the mage a sidelong glance.

"Hm." Solas was torn. He was not surprised Ashiril would bring along the spirit in an effort to understand and help it. More and more, such actions served less to surprise him, than encourage his admiration for the Inquisitor.

But the Warden… There was a man defined by his armor, if ever there was one. A soldier of singular, frustratingly earnest motivation. Solas respected that. And it irked him.

The mage had made his choice. He'd accepted the sacrifice. And she was still there, still a rare, unexpected light on this journey, flitting around on the periphery. A distraction. A gift.

She was an occasional respite he had come to anticipate. So, he would just have to ignore things like when Blackwall stared too long at her as they broke for camp, or the teamwork the two displayed fighting on the frontline.

Ash made a few arrangements with one of Leliana's scouts, and then they headed out for Crestwood with a few soldiers in tow. The journey started uneventfully. Ash was her usual boisterous self as she bounded ahead, scouted from trees, and generally basked in the outdoors.

Solas had not said more than a few words the first hour when Blackwall approached him, looking tentative. The elf tried not to look overly annoyed.

"You remind me of someone I used to know," the Warden began. "He was fascinated with the Fade and spirits too."

Curious. An attempt at camaraderie?

"A mage?" Solas offered.

"No, just a man who liked eating these strange purple cactus berries," Blackwall shrugged. His brow furrowed at the memory. "I don't think he was ever actually in the Fade."

Solas's eyebrows shot up. A snort of laughter drew his gaze, and he saw Ash covering her mouth. Her eyes danced between the two of them.

"Ahem," she cleared her throat, "I forgot to say, if anyone sees herbs or ores, do pick them up. I'm trying to gather more supplies for the Inquisition."

"Consider it done," the warrior nodded. He was scanning around them and off collecting bits in short order.

Solas sighed. He fell back into a reverie, of past and future things.

"He has many feelings."

The elf looked to his left, startled. He'd forgotten about Cole. He chuckled.

"Does he?" Solas didn't particularly want to talk about Blackwall, but he didn't want to discourage the spirit's attempts at understanding this world.

"He thinks if he speaks with his sword, it will be enough. But the rest is… in pain. Demanding. Not forgotten. He can't let it go," Cole sighed.

Solas's hand tightened on his staff. His eyes darted to the warrior as he tore a handful of elfroot from the base of a tree, then to the lithe form of Ash as she jogged yards ahead of them.

"What do you mean, Cole?"

"He keeps singing that song. He doesn't want to forget the children. But he _does_ want to," the spirit said. Cryptic as ever.

"The children? Blackwall has children?" Solas knew he should let it go. He shouldn't be so curious. He shouldn't have been many things lately.

"No," Cole shook his head, "he has regrets. They chain him. They won't let him reach her."

The elf tried to ignore what _that_ meant.

"We all have regrets," he said ambivalently.

"But his… they would ruin him," the rogue continued emphatically. Solas's eyebrows pressed together, interest piqued.

"What do you mean?" his gaze darted between the spirit and the Warden in the distance. "Is he a threat to the Inquisition? To Ashiril?"

"No. Yes… In ways. I don't know how to help him," the spirit said sadly. He met Solas's eyes. "I don't know how to help you."

The elf scowled at the sharp shift in the spirit's attention. Not wholly unexpected, he chided himself.

"You cannot," Solas said simply. "Tell me of Blackwall. Perhaps there is something to be done."

Cole tilted his head to the side as he considered.

"You are curious, but not cruel. You would not like it."

"That is acceptable."

"I don't… know," he was looking at Ash now. He frowned. "My head hurts."

A few moments passed. The elf remained silent, hoping the spirit would fill the void first. He finally broke.

"It is alright, Cole," Solas assured him. There were more important things to consider. But the spirit's words hung in the air, tempting the elf with their secrets.

"You're quiet, Solas," Ash observed when she came back to strike camp. "Anything on your mind?"

He watched the light of the fire dance on her face a few moments before responding.

"A great many things," he said quietly. Her expression was both amused and annoyed. She let it go and settled in for the dinner the Inquisition soldiers were preparing. Blackwall joined them a short while later, sweaty from his evening training. He tried to be subtle about the glances he cast Ashiril's direction, but Solas was watching intently. Cole's words lingered. The Warden was entitled to some secrets. But if they threatened the Inquisition, or Ashiril? Well. They must cut the rot, within or out.


	8. Don't Taunt the Berserker

_**Oh, Crestwood. You are a sad reminder of the horrors of the Blight from Origins.**_

 _ **In this episode, the party does their wandering banter thing. I always assumed they were talking with each other way more than it seemed in-game. Making plans, poking fun on the reg. Also featuring: Ash being reckless, Crestwood making everybody sad, and Solas professing love of tiny cakes. Plus, a cliffhanger!**_

Crestwood was being attacked by the undead, the Fade rift was under a deep and stormy lake, a bandit stronghold nearby was choking off important roads, and there were rumors of a dragon terrorizing the inland region.

"Who's up for a vacation when this one's a wrap?" Ash asked as she wiped the sweat and blood from her brow. They'd just captured the bandit stronghold, Caer Bronach, after a particularly rough string of battles interspersed with sprinting up flight after flight of steps. Crows had already been released to request reinforcements to settle the fortress under the Inquisition banner.

"Name the spot," Blackwall grunted between swigs of water.

"What would even qualify right now?" Ash wondered aloud. "Ferelden and Orlais are out, thanks to all the demons. I _have_ always wanted to see the Korcari Wilds."

"The ocean," suggested Cole wistfully.

"I hear the Amaranthine coast is lovely," the Warden said.

"You _would_ suggest that," Solas snorted.

"Well, let me hazard a guess and say your suggestion is the Fade. Pardon me if I'd prefer to travel further than my bedroll _and_ actually remember it," Blackwall retorted.

"Your inability to appreciate them does not diminish the wonders of the Beyond," Solas replied mildly. "But I wouldn't say no to visiting the Emerald Graves in better times. It's quite lovely."

"It's settled," Ash cracked her knuckles and stretched out her sore arms. "Picnic in the Emerald Graves when we get a breather."

"Mind the giants and spiders," Blackwall added. Ash cast him a lopsided grin as she headed out a side door of the keep and toward the tavern with the controls to drain the lake.

"That's what we have _you_ for, Blackwall."

They crossed the bridge, Solas and Ash grumbling in kind about the rain seeming to come from both above and below, and entered the dark tavern. Voices from within almost made Ash give the signal to ready for battle, before realizing they'd stumbled across some hapless lovers on a date.

"I knew this was a mistake," the girl sounded panicked.

"Please don't tell anyone about this," the boy pleaded.

"About your choice of romantic locale being a dank, musty tavern with Maker knows what on the floors?" Ash winked. "Your secret's safe with me." The couple looked parts chagrined and grateful.

"We can't go back now. My dad will still be up," the girl sighed as the group moved past them.

"We could try the caves?" the boy offered.

"Oh, no. Maker, don't try caves," Blackwall chuckled to himself in amused disgust. The group left them bickering and headed into a room with massive barrels set against the walls.

"What's wrong with caves? They're nice. Quiet," Cole said.

"Nothing, if you're a dwarf. Or a reptile," Solas replied.

"And what would you suggest?" Ash challenged. She opened the door to a room with a massive wooden gear in the ground. Blackwall grabbed onto a spoke and started to push. "People can't just plan romantic outings to the Fade on a whim." Solas leaned against his staff and raised an eyebrow.

"Can't they?"

Ash fumbled for a smart retort. Finally, she scowled at him and looked away, her face burning. _I walked into that one._ Cole was still looking between her and the elven mage.

"Can they?" he was curious.

"That should do it," Blackwall announced, stretching his arms and back as the distant sounds of the dam rushing outside reached them.

"Let's get this done," Ash headed back out the door.

They walked back into the drizzling rain and started back across the bridge.

A roar pierced through the sky, so powerful that the stones shook beneath their feet. Great gusts of wind buffeted the group, and they looked up to see a massive dragon, flying so close that Ash could've hit it with a rock. Its tail and wings were colored in starkly contrasting black and white stripes. Huge, sharp talons curled under its body, glistening wet in the rain.

"I was _not_ expecting that," Ash breathed in startled awe. It wheeled around in the sky, and for a terrifying moment, Ash wondered if it might divebomb them. But it continued on its way, off into the storm.

"A dragon," Blackwall said. "Do we ever have _uneventful_ days?"

"Are we going to fight that?" Cole asked.

"Not today!" Ash declared.

The walk into Old Crestwood was wet and somber. Faded figures drifted in and out of rotted houses, across a mess of rocks and plants that might have once been gardens and roads. Voices echoed, calling forever to loved ones they would never find.

"Sometimes it seems this land is a collection of tragedies, one piled atop another," Solas observed.

"So many stories trying to find endings," Cole said sadly.

"This whole village was lost to the blight," Ash counted the houses she could see. She imagined what they might have looked like, properly cared for by those who had lived in them. She remembered the Chantry sister who had asked after the missing, if they could be found so their bodies could have proper farewells. "We're going to find the missing dead first. Then we can look for these caves the rift is in."

Her companions carried out the solemn task, felling a few demons along the way. Ash half-wished Sera or Dorian were along to make an inappropriately-timed joke. When the last body had been found, they turned their attention to finding the way to the Flooded Caves and the Rift within.

Ash walked past another crumbling house and toward a small jutting of rock wall. Something rustled nearby. She paused.

"Did you hear that?"

"I hear nothing," Blackwall halted next to her.

A large rust-gray rock suddenly unfurled itself at Ash's feet and lunged at her. Its body was scaled, with a maw that gaped like a hole of razor teeth.

"Ahh!" The elf warrior shrieked and instinctively punched it in the head. It squeaked and flew sideways. Several more appeared and encircled the group.

"They're almost cute," Cole observed.

"Something tells me they wouldn't make good pets," Blackwall shouted as his blade cleaved the head from one. Solas's barrier burst brightly around them as they fought off the attack. After a few minutes of hacking and small magical explosions, the assault was over.

"Well, "Ash wiped some gore from her gloves and the front of her armor, "that was bracing."

"Deepstalkers mean there is an entrance to the underground nearby," Solas observed. He put his hand against the sharp incline of hill next to them and walked along it. "We must be near the caves."

"Smart," Ash nodded. "Knew I kept you around for a reason."

"I would hope linking deepstalkers with the underground would not puzzle you for very long," the mage replied coolly.

"I found a hole!" Cole called out a few yards ahead. He stood triumphantly next to a door set a way into the hillside.

"You found a door," Blackwall asserted. The spirit nodded.

"There's a hole behind it," he opened them to show.

"Alright, team, let's head out," Ash ducked inside. "I want to close this rift and get home in time to have dinner and hug my friends."

"I know what you mean," the Warden muttered and followed, then came Solas, and Cole in the rear.

Aside from being more dank and dark than their normal missions, the caves were not overly taxing. It was a relatively straightforward path down, with Blackwall stopping a few times along the way to crack some strange silver blue ore from the walls and ground.

"Shall I clarify that I want to be back by _today's_ dinner?" Ash called when she realized the Warden had stopped for yet another piece of ore.

"You ask for supplies for the Inquisition, you get them," he shot back.

"Ach," she spat. Ash peered across the massive underground cavern. They'd wandered into the ruins of some ancient dwarven city. She wondered if Varric would appreciate them. Probably as fodder for a story. Varric didn't seem an especially reverent dwarf.

Her palm with the Anchor itched. She frowned and looked back at her companions. Blackwall was still distracted with some last bits of ore. Solas was inspecting ancient runes along a crumbling wall. Cole was watching Blackwall, for some reason. The elven warrior snorted impatiently and started off again at a brisk trot. The rift was nearby. She could _sense it._

Green light flickered in the distance, through a tall and narrow opening in the stone. She jumped down to jog across to it. _Ugh,_ Ash thought as ankle-deep muck pooled around her feet.

Cole looked up from studying the Warden.

"Hey," he said at the sight of Ash pressing ahead. "Hey! Where are you going?!"

Solas and Blackwall turned at his urgent tone. They exchanged glances of realization that Ash had moved on without them.

"Or for the love of…" Solas hissed.

"Damned stubborn woman," the Warden broke into a jog.

She heard a crackle in the huge area beyond the opening and stepped through into an area as massive as a ballroom. Stairs led down to a moat of black water. Beyond that, stairs led up again to a raised area lined with columns. Four wraith demons shrieked and darted around beneath the bright, writhing green gash of the rift.

Damn. Not the easiest ones to take down, but Ash knew the others would join her soon enough.

"Found it!" she crowed as she dashed forward. The wraiths whirled at her approach. She shot out a chain at the closest one, snagging its grey, clawed foot and yanking it toward her, simultaneously twirling to dodge the icy blast of another as she unhooked her great axe. She swung the axe in the same motion used to pull it from her back and caught the second closest in its middle. The wraith keened and flew backward. Ash used the axe's weight to vault herself overhead to face the enemy she had yanked closer. She stepped forward and low, hauling with all her might to crack the wraith in two with an overhead swing.

"Ah!" she cried out as her shoulder flared with bright, icy pain. She turned to face her attacker in time to see Cole burst into sight in a cloud of smoke and a whirl of shiny, deadly daggers. The startled wraith spun away in retreat, falling directly into Blackwall's fast-moving shield.

"Glad you could all join me," she laughed. Balls of fire careened past her head, erupting with each swing of Solas's staff.

"You are singularly annoying!" the mage shouted over the din.

They felled the first wraiths, only to have more appear alongside Shades and Terror demons. Ash hated Terror demons. She would be in such a flow with her axe, when one of the lanky green jerks would erupt from beneath and knock the wind out of her. They had enraged her like no other until she'd figured out how to properly time her evasions.

This rift was no easy task, and by the time a Rage demon appeared, Ash was rethinking her decisions that day. She was out of potions and feeling the ache in her side as it spat fire at her. The elf shifted to defensive posturing, dancing and feinting while Cole and Solas pecked away at it from the flanks. Then Blackwall felled the Terror demon he'd been battling, waded in and finished the dwindling Rage demon with a sturdy hit of his shield. Only the quietly crackling rift remained.

Ash took a moment to catch her breath, then raised her hand. The Anchor jumped to life, sending electricity surging up her arm and through her body. She gritted her teeth against the discomfort and let out a gasp at the final burst.

"Are you alright?" Blackwall touched her shoulder.

"Just winded." _And maybe my limbs are trembling like I haven't eaten in days. And I think I bruised some ribs._ "We're done here, at least."

"We did it. We really helped these people," Cole sounded positively giddy. "We're doing good!"

"Indeed," Solas nodded as they headed back out the way they came. "It is good to see immediate rewards for our efforts. Crestwood deserves a respite."

"Gained a fortress, closed a rift, saved a town," Ash ticked off each one on her fingers.

"Helped lost spirits rest," Cole added.

"Slayed a dragon?" Blackwall asked.

"Not today!"

"Can we go to Val Royeaux after this?" Cole asked as they marched up the rickety wooden planks leading up and out of the cave. "I've been thinking where else I'd like to go. And the people there are very strange. Bright. And there are cakes."

"Cole has a point," Solas said. "They have delightful cakes." Blackwall guffawed.

"You like those tiny cakes?"

"You don't?" Solas effected mild surprise. "I can only assume you have deprived yourself out of a virtuous opposition to excess, and have never actually tried them."

The Warden paused.

"Well. Yes, that's right."

They emerged in the drizzling afternoon, Ash leading the way. She was feeling a little better with rest.

"Then it's settled. After this, we go to Val Royeaux, so Blackwall can learn the error of yet another of his ways," Solas declared.

"I've never had these… tiny cakes, either," Ash admitted.

"Well, then. The plan looks ever more promising."

Cole appeared more pleased than Ash had seen him for days. She chuckled to herself, turning to head back down the path through Old Crestwood.

She should have been paying better attention. But she had been pushing herself, and was tired, and still hadn't gotten a potion from one of her companions.

The bolt of lightning struck without warning and made every muscle in her body stretch taut. She was narrowly missed by a volley of arrows, thanks to falling over in a twitching, gasping mass.

 _Damn it all,_ she chided herself. _Careless._ She heard the approach more than saw it, dimly aware of her companions screaming around her. She rolled fast to the side as a massive hammer exploded into the ground next to her. The force of impact still knocked her back a few feet.

A flash of light, glow clinging to her skin… she smiled. Solas. She surveyed the field as she sprang to her feet and scoffed at the enemy who had gotten the drop on her.

Bandits. They must've been stragglers from Caer Bronach, away on a raiding mission when the Inquisition had taken the fort. She took quick stock. One of the massive brutes with the hammers was momentarily distracted by Blackwall's rush after she fell. An archer just beyond him. And beyond that… Her eyes narrowed on the mage, his hands still crackling with lightning.

She leapt to her feet, rolled past the giant warrior, deflected an arrow with her swinging axe, and charged.

The enemy mage saw her coming, and for half a moment she wondered if he would disappear in a burst. But he must have been low on mana, and she crowed as she made contact. They collided in a boom and she flattened him mid-spell. He went down in a flurry of robes and curses. Cole burst onto the scene in a cloud of smoke and slashed mercilessly at the fallen opponent. She heard the charging steps behind her then, but set her feet and hauled the axe overhead to bring it down in a final blow on the unfortunate mage. The elf spun on the ball of her foot to meet the foe behind her, simultaneously swinging her axe so the haft was held up overhead. She kept moving sideways, knowing she could not take the full force of that hammer. Her teeth clattered in her head as she deflected the oncoming blow and diverted it to the side, then stepped immediately into a spin and downward blow that set the huge fighter back a step.

She was tired. More than she cared to admit. But she saw Blackwall charging furiously to intercept the fighter that had honed in on her. Probably due to all the war cries. She did love screaming in battle. And there was one more ranged fighter left. She hated leaving them for last. Always such a task by that point, having to chase down the light-footed bastards.

Ash danced away from the hammer-wielding giant. She threw out her chain to capture the archer out of reach. She saw his eyes go wide and he yelped in pain as she yanked him to her and smashed her fist into face. _Ugh_. She hated fighting other people. Too personal. But so be it, if they attack her.

The archer tried to get up, but was frozen in an icy blast from Solas, then shattered to pieces as Cole materialized behind him and plunged daggers into his back.

"Watch out!" Solas barked, and Ash narrowly dodged a heavy blow as the giant starting smashing his hammer into the earth around him. Blackwall had been too close, and was knocked backward off his feet.

The elven warrior gripped her axe and waited for her moment. Her adrenaline made her blood pump loudly in her ears. These massive oafs were almost too easy. Even exhausted as she was, she could still play with this one.

There was an opening. Ash laughed and danced forward, jabbing the fighter hard with the butt of her axe. He growled and turned, angling his hammer for a swing. Ash readied herself to deflect it and end this battle with a final attack.

Her ear twitched at a distant sound. A twang of a bow. _Oh, no._

Pain ripped into her side and Ash cursed as the expert shot found a soft spot between her armor. She reflexively curled around the wound.

"Another archer! Behind the tree!" the faint voice of Solas called. She heard a commotion and assumed Cole was on it.

"Fuck, shit," Ash hissed. She saw the smile spread across the giant's face.

She was going to get the full brunt of this hit. She tried to set her feet and brace for impact. The hammer flew toward her middle.

Blackwall ran in front of the blow. The hammer lifted him off his feet with an ear-splitting clang, smashed him into Ash, and sent them both into the air.

The wind left her lungs in a rush and wind whistled loudly by her ears as she flew. The world tumbled around her, ending abruptly against stone, then down a short distance atop wood planks that creaked in protest of her sudden graceless weight. She was atop some shoddy, boarded up exit to the cave. She had half a second to stare down between the wide slats into the expanse of a hole leading into the earth. Then the heavy armored body of Blackwall crashed down next to her, wood splintered, and the two plunged downward into darkness.


	9. Where's a Supply Cache When You Need One

_**I am churning these out way too fast. Maybe I'll try to adult for awhile and study instead. MAYBE.**_

Ash's stomach lurched when she felt the boards break beneath her. She was falling, and she had no idea how far it was to the ground. She clawed at the crumbling wall of the cave as she tumbled, trying to slow her descent by banging painfully against roots, stones, and even Blackwall.

The elf smashed unceremoniously to a stop at the bottom of the hole, some three or four stories down. She gasped loudly, waiting for control of her muscles to return. Blackwall grunted angrily nearby.

Ash sat up with a groan. Her vision was partially obscured. Her entire body ached so much that she couldn't yet tell if one part was worse off than another, or if she was just a single giant bruise. Blackwall rose slowly to his feet. He cursed stubbornly, but he looked much better off than Ash felt. His eyes widened when he saw her. He knelt quickly by her side.

"Inquisitor! You're bleeding," he touched a gloved hand to her forehead, and Ash realized she was squinting her left eye as blood seeped down it and over her face. So _that's_ what was half-blinding her.

"I'd bet money that's not the only place," she wheezed. She looked around the narrow hole. It was like they'd fallen down a well. Behind them, the cave broke into passages to their left and right. That must mean there was a way out.

Telltale signs of a decrepit ladder remained in rotted pieces of rungs jutting out from the rock and dirt above them. Nothing they could use now.

"Let me look you over," Blackwall's eyes darted briefly to her face, waiting for approval. Ash nodded. He started to squeeze gently at her joints, smooth out areas of her armor and leather, lift one leg to flex and extend it, then the other.

Ash hissed and growled as he manipulated her right leg.

"We have a winner," he said dryly.

"Don't forget the arrow in my side," she leaned back with a grimace to show the hole in her armor. The arrow had broken in her fall, but the wound was clearly red, angry, and oozing. The Warden scowled and shook his head.

"Damn it, woman," his voice was a mixture of worry and amusement.

The sounds of battle above finally abated. Two figures appeared at the edge of the hole.

"Ash. Ash!" Solas's frantic voice echoed down to them.

"We're alright," she called up.

"Except for her leg and the arrow in her side," Blackwall added. He turned to Ash. "Can you stand?"

"Of course I can stan-shhhhh-," pain spiked through her ankle and up her side as he helped her up, "-hhhiiiit."

The Warden narrowed his eyes on her.

"What?!" she growled. "I'm standing." He craned his neck up toward the sky.

"I doubt she can walk far!"

"Do you not have any potions left?" the mage shouted. Blackwall looked at Ash.

"I used my last one at the rift," she said.

"I used mine right before that blow that knocked us down here," he frowned. "We're out!"

Solas and Cole exchanged glances.

"Wait. Take one of mine!" the spirit offered excitedly.

"I don't think…" Ash began, but Cole had already carefully aimed and let go of a shimmering bottle. Blackwall and Ash watched it sail at an angle until smashing against a rock outcropping. Glass shards and liquid showered down around them.

"Oh. That wasn't supposed to happen," he called down sadly.

"Please stop dropping glass on me," Ash shouted.

"Just stay there. You can't be very far in. We'll come find you," Solas finally declared.

"Wait!" Ash called before the mage vanished. She pulled a torch from her pack, motioned Blackwall back, and held it out far from herself. "Light this first!"

"Oh, for…" his grumbles carried down the hole, "Watch out!"

A fireball roared down at them, searing the last third of the torch and blistering Ash's hand.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" she tossed the torch to her other hand and inspected the singed, red skin.

"Excellent plan," Blackwall observed wryly.

"We'll be there soon," Solas called. Then the two disappeared from above. The elven warrior's forehead crinkled in annoyance.

"Shit. I don't want to just sit here and wait," Ash wiped fresh oozing blood from her forehead. _Damned head wounds. Damned burnt hand. Damned hole in my side. Damned leg._

"Well, what do you suggest? I'm not leaving you, and I don't think tromping off with no healing and you wounded this badly is even possible."

She considered. Blackwall could see the gears turning in her mind and immediately regretted asking.

"I've got it," she announced. She twirled her finger at the Warden. "Turn around."

"What are you on about?" but he obeyed.

"You're going to carry me," she unlatched his shield and handed it around to his front. "I'll get on your back, you support me, and we'll go from there."

"You can't be serious," Blackwall sounded disbelieving, but he reached around and under her thighs as Ash grabbed hold of his shoulder with her free hand and hoisted herself up. Her muscles screamed angrily, but it was a manageable pain.

Being so close to the flustered Warden that she could wrap her arm around his neck was a nice bonus. She did just that as she adjusted herself, leaning so close that her face brushed against the side of his head. Blackwall made quietly alarmed sounds as she fidgeted. The plan was almost foiled by their armor, but she finally managed a good foothold so that she could even crane backward from him.

"Excellent. I think I could fight from up here. Just keep at least one hand on me and I don't think I'll fall off," she instructed.

"You're mad," he was incredulous.

"And yet you follow me," she said smugly.

"I…" he sighed. "You have me there."

On impulse, Ash tightened one arm on his neck and pressed her cheek to his thick black hair. He smelled of leather, sweat, and blood, with the faintest hint of sawdust.

"I do, don't I?" she purred against his ear. She couldn't tell his reaction from her position, but she liked to think it was some variation of blushing. "Now, let's go! Erm… That way!"

The elf arbitrarily pointed with the torch down the corridor sloping to the right. She hooked her free hand into the sturdy collar of Blackwall's armor as he trudged further into the cave.

Ash knew Blackwall had great endurance, but she was impressed with how he kept pace through the cave. He didn't slow if the ground tilted up or down, but simply adjusted his movements accordingly.

"Do you think it's wiser to shout for our companions so they find us faster, or less wise for drawing enemies to us?" Ash mused.

"I'd rather you not shout in my ear in general."

Ash smiled wickedly.

"I imagine that would depend on why I'm shouting," she murmured in a low voice. Blackwall let out a sound somewhere between a cough and a guffaw.

"You're especially trying today, my lady," his voice was a little rougher than normal.

"I'm pleased you noticed."

She felt his chest expand in a large sigh.

"You're abusing your position right now," he growled. "You realize this?"

"I recall something about that being an unfortunate side effect of power," Ash was enjoying this. "Would you like me to stop?"

Blackwall didn't say anything. He just continued to move forward through the dark, cold cave.

She opened her mouth to tease him again, but the words stopped in her throat when she heard a familiar squeaking sound.

"Blackwall," she said warningly.

"I hear them," his reply was terse. She glanced around, but the torchlight was not very illuminating. "In front of us! A hole!" He bashed a deepstalker with his shield as it leapt up at him. Ash saw another rush from the aforementioned hole. She tightened her legs on Blackwall and swung hard with the torch. Sparks flew on contact, nearly blinding her, but the creature was stunned long enough for the Warden to pummel it with his shield.

She swung at another, then another, as Blackwall bashed and stomped, all the while managing to keep a hand supporting her on his back. Her side and leg were aching, but it seemed like they had almost dealt with the annoying threat.

Then she felt a thud on her back and a scrabbling of sharp talons trying to gain purchase.

"Ah! One's on my back!" she shrieked. "Smash me against the wall!"

"What?! No!" he stammered uncertainly. The prospect of hurting Ash to dislodge the deepstalker was too much for him to quickly process.

It was slashing at her hair now. One claw got caught in her braid and jerked her head sideways.

"Ow! For fuck's sake…"

Ash sprang backward off Blackwall, tucked her legs and head for impact, and thudded to the ground. Her teeth rattled in her head and pain exploded in her side. The deepstalker screeched like an angry toy and thrashed beneath her. She rolled off it and the Warden stepped in to finish it with his shield.

They caught their breath in the ensuing silence. Ash was on her back and somehow still holding the torch aloft. Blackwall looked down at her. His beard shifted in a rare, wide smile. He started chuckling. Ash blinked up at him.

"What?"

He was shaking his head and rubbing his beard now, then his face, then pinching the bridge of his nose as the chuckle became a full-bodied laugh.

"Help me up, you daft jerk!"

"You look…" he said between hearty laughs, "absolutely deranged out of your mind. Just completely round the bend. Blood all down your face, hair sticking out the side of your head," he reached down to grasp her outstretched hand, "holding out a torch like, ' _This way to terror,'_ covered in deepstalker… Whoa!"

Ash twisted her good leg under Blackwall and pulled hard on his arm. She laughed triumphantly as he crashed down next to her with an audible _Oomph!_ She moved fast to straddle his middle, grimacing in pain, and pushed him hard back down to the ground when he tried to sit up. She looked wild in the torchlight flickering on her face.

"You pledged yourself to me," she growled, "so when I give you an order, you _follow it._ "

Blackwall was holding his breath. His mind was a tumult of conflicting emotions. Concern for the twitches of pain flashing across Ash's face, blind adrenaline from the fight and being knocked off his feet, arousal from the fight and being knocked off his feet… He felt frozen from the internal conflict.

Ash leaned closer. Her hair trailed along his face.

"Are you afraid you'll hurt me?" now she spoke pointedly softer. His blood rushed faster in his veins, to his head, to _places_. "What if I _want_ you to hurt me?"

"Ash…" his voice was gritty, tense.

"That deepstalker almost clawed its way to my face, and you were too concerned to _jostle_ me," she growled and sat back. Blackwall scowled.

" _Jostle you?_ Is that what you call it? With an arrow in your gut and broken bones and Maker knows what else," he felt a surge of unexpected anger, "in no small part to you just rushing ahead of us all the time, taking risks? Not planning. Not _thinking._ "

The remains of playfulness drained from her expression.

"We're doing fine. A little rough around the edges," she hissed. She knew it was a vast stretch. Her stubbornness had taken over. He barked a disbelieving laugh. She pushed herself off him with obvious, obstinate effort. He sat up and leaned into her. Frustration was rapidly replacing all other emotions.

"If this were _anyone else_ in your army, would you say they were doing _fine?_ If you saw Cassandra, or Dorian, or Sera with this-" And then he poked her in the side, just above the wound. Her eyes flew wide. She gasped in pain. The torch fell from her hands, into a puddle of black water, and hissed out.

Blackwall immediately regretted it. His ire flipflopped so quickly into panicked apologies that he almost felt dizzy.

"Maker. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. I can't believe… My lady, I should never have-"

"Inquisitor!" Solas's voice echoed distantly down the corridor.

"Hello? Where are you?" Cole called, his voice overlapping the mage's.

Blackwall glanced back. He could see the distant light of Solas's staff and a veilfire bobbing closer. He exhaled heavily out his nose and looked back to the barely visible outline of Ash in the dark. He reached out gently, found her legs, and fumbled until he felt her hand on his.

"It's alright, Blackwall. I deserved that," she sounded drained, but he was relieved to hear amusement in her voice. She could barely make out the rough shake of his head in the darkness.

"You deserve many things, but that was certainly not one of them," he protested. He could vaguely see the features of her face again as the veilfire drew close.

"Damn it all, ASH! Where are-" Solas's shout died on his lips as the light spread across the pair of warriors sitting on the ground ahead of him, sprawled in the cold mud and surrounded by the small squashed bodies of deepstalkers. Ash's hair was partially horizontal as it stuck out from her braid and one side of her face was all but caked in dark blood. She was covered in gore and mud from the waist down. Blackwall's beard had bits of _something_ sticking out of it. He was half-sitting, half-leaning against his mud and viscera-covered shield.

"Where've you been?" Ash asked lightly.

"You look scary," Cole observed.

Blackwall stood and gently helped the elf to her feet.

"Anyone have a spare healing potion? I kind of feel like death."

Solas and Cole exchanged glances. The mage looked back to her as he leaned against his staff.

"We… encountered some spiders on the way down," he said. She raised her eyebrows at him. She looked at the spirit.

"Sorry," Cole said quietly.

"Really?!"

"They were very large spiders."

"You've got to be- _fine._ Nevermind!" her voice pitched high. She would've thrown her hands in the air if every part of her body weren't aching. "Let's just get back to camp."

Solas watched with narrowed eyes as she gingerly hopped onto the human's back and slumped tiredly against him. She waved lazily ahead.

"Onward," her voice was muffled against Blackwall's hair.

They were halfway back to the camp when Ash finally felt well enough to walk on her own. It was no easy thing clinging to the back of a broad, armored man, after all, and it was good to stretch her legs. She still had a prominent limp. She wondered how long it would take the potions to work now that the injuries had settled in and made themselves more at home.

"You know," Blackwall had been walking quietly beside her for half a mile, slow enough to keep her injured pace. Solas and Cole walked a few yards ahead. He was replaying their time in the cave in his head. "You were partially right, back there." She furrowed her brow.

"Which part?"

He sighed.

"I should have listened to you. Could've knocked the damn thing off your back and you wouldn't have had to risk worse by jumping off me," he admitted.

"Ah," Ash smiled. She had said many things in the heat of anger, but she had meant that part. "I recall someone saying something about how we need to focus on our duty. Not let our feelings cloud our judgment."

His face colored and he dropped his stare to the ground.

"Aye. Wise words. You'd think I'd listen to them," he said. He shook his head, annoyed with himself. "You need to be able to trust me in battle." Ash looked over at him. Her expression softened with affection, and a hint of sadness. Blackwall blew out a frustrated snort. He looked back at her with stern eyes. "I need to be able to trust _you_ in battle." The elf blinked and tilted her head to the side.

"Eh?"

The warrior didn't immediately respond. He stared at her as she limped along, considering some thought. Then a sudden and self-satisfied smile began to spread across his face. Ash felt sure she'd missed something.

"Ash," Blackwall began with an uncharacteristic smirk. She felt the hairs raise on the back of her neck. "I've decided to take you up on your offer."

Her heart thumped a little harder. Which offer? Now? _This is a trap._

"Have you?" she asked warily.

"If I beat you back to camp," his voice was all gravel and satisfaction, "I get to choose a new set of armor for you."

Her eyes snapped wide.

Blackwall was gone, sprinting away up the gently sloping hills.

"Ow! Damn it! Maker, smite him! Heed your chosen!" Ash lunged after him. Her leg and side spiked in pain. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, hobbling as fast as she could past Solas and Cole. "Shit! Shit! Solas, turn the ground to ice and push me across it!"

"No."

"The Dread Wolf take you!"

He laughed quietly. Cole stared between Solas and the frustrated, jerky motions of Ash. Blackwall was a dark blotch against the hillside now.

"I don't understand," the spirit said quietly.

"Oh?" Solas asked. Obscenities continued to float back to them.

"All of you said the caves were bad to go to," he recalled, "but I think they liked them."

The elf mage scowled.

"Yes, well. There's no accounting for taste."


	10. A Sad Camping Trip

_**In this episode, Dorian gets tired of waiting at Skyhold, which works out nicely, because he's a delight to have around. Ashiril and Solas share an evening talking about mostly depressing things in an effort to rekindle their friendship, because hey, why not bond over stuff that makes you cry?**_

When they made it back to camp, Dorian was there. He had spread a duvet over a large stone and was sitting with a drink in one hand and a book in the other. He looked up as they approached, a greeting on his lips, then his face fell at the sight of Ash hobbling behind a triumphant-looking Blackwall.

"Sweet Maker, what on earth did you get into?" he was astonished. Blackwall was already heading back toward the elf with a potion from their cache.

"Fell down a very deep hole," she took the potion and drank deeply, then let out a satisfied gasp and wiped her mouth. "Also got shot with an arrow and hit with a very large hammer. There was probably more." Healing prickled through her body, knitting muscles and skin back together. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, no wonder I felt the sudden urge to come join you. Clearly my unconscious was trying to save you from getting yourself killed."

"Is that so?" she laughed. Solas and Cole were in sight, now. Dorian waved hello.

"How is it that you're the only one who looks like you've exploded and tried to put yourself back together again? Terribly done, I might add," Dorian snapped a look at Blackwall. "Our Warden's a close second, but that's nothing new."

"Why are you here, again?" Blackwall sounded unamused.

"I was _bored,_ " Dorian said primly. "I'm the only one who was left at Skyhold, surrounded by all those stoic soldiers training, refugees unpacking, nobles whining."

"Nobles whining? You'd think you'd feel right at home," the Warden snorted as he started to unlatch his armor for cleaning.

"You'll recall I _left_ home."

"I, for one, am happy to see you," Ash declared. "Come here!" She moved quickly toward him, arms outstretched. Dorian looked horrified at her fast approach.

"You wouldn't dare!"

He started to scrabble off the stone and for his staff, but the small, incredibly strong elf had grabbed him in a tight bear hug. Mud, dried blood, and deepstalker innards flaked off her as he struggled.

"You deserve no less a greeting," she declared. Dorian gagged and pushed futiley to dislodge her.

"This is unequivocally the cruelest thing you've ever done to me," he gritted his teeth. "I could light you on fire, you know."

"I know," she pulled his face down and kissed his cheek, then finally released him, laughing. He scrubbed furiously at his robes, looked with disgust at his hands, then paused in confusion as to how to proceed.

"Excuse me. I have go burn these now."

"I'll miss you!" Ash called after him as he stomped off toward a tent. "Ah, it's good to see him."

"I'll never understand how you get along with almost everyone, no matter how much a pompous brat they are," Blackwall shook his head.

"One day perhaps you'll meet my clan's keeper and realize just how wrong you are about that," Ash waved a finger at him. "Now. I'm going to grab a quick nap. The potion was lovely, but I feel like I could sleep for days."

She only slept for a few hours, and woke as the sun was setting. There was food cooking over the fire when she emerged from her tent and stretched. The arrow wound had closed up and her leg was only moderately sore. Good enough. She announced brightly that they would seek out Hawke's Warden friend in the morning.

Ash finished her dinner and oversaw some reports with the Inquisition soldiers, then heaved a sigh of relief that the day was done. Blackwall had turned in early, seemingly exhausted from the day's events _._ And Cole was wandering around the campsite, staring at things and quietly muttering to himself. Dorian wasn't around, and she assumed he was taking shelter in his tent until he was relatively certain everyone had bathed.

Ash spotted Solas sitting by the campfire. He seemed sullen lately. They had not shared as many moments as they used to since before their ill-planned kiss. It didn't rest well with Ash.

He didn't look up as she approached.

"It's been too long since you've shared a tale with me," she joined him. His eyes flicked sideways to her, then back to the fire. He smiled humorlessly.

"I would not command too much of your attention, Inquisitor," he said quietly.

"And you won't. Just a few stories," she pressed. "You've had days to come up with some."

"It is true," he paused. "But you have little free time. Is it not best spent making plans for the Inquisition? Or honing your fighting skills?"

Was he… being passive aggressive? An unease crept over her, that maybe something irreparable had occurred between them, and she had missed it.

"If you are _advising_ me to do so, I will consider it," Ash said. "But Solas… I enjoy these tales. You give me pieces of lives, real histories, that I would never have otherwise had."

His eyebrows twitched and he turned to her. She couldn't tell much from his expression. She never really could, when he didn't want her to.

"I honestly believe it makes me better at this job. This Inquisition business," she confessed, breaking his gaze to look down at her hands folded in her lap. "I know I'm reckless at times. I lived in a small world before this. And your experiences… sharing them with me has been one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. You both ground and inspire me."

She hadn't expected to have such raw words tumble out of her. Ash felt wary of looking at him, so she stared into the fire instead and waited. A few seconds of silence passed, and she almost thought to get up and leave him in the solitude he seemed to prefer tonight.

"I saw a peaceful village by the seaside in ages past," his voice was low and neutral. "One late summer day, strangers charged in with torches and burnt the village to the ground." Ash looked at him. He was staring into the evening sky. His face crinkled with remembrance, as if he were contemplating a puzzle. "They did not take prisoners, but slaughtered all, and stole what livestock and valuables they could find, which was not much for a simple people. I saw a mother of three herd her children into a tall tree, where they stayed, quaking in fear, as she lured the attackers away and to her doom."

 _Well, shit._

"What happened to the children?"

"The eldest led them into the forest, where they survived for a time. Eventually a passing clan adopted them, and though it was never home, they found some kind of peace again," he concluded.

Ash tried to imagine such a life. The life if she and the other clan children had been driven from their home, alone, into the forest, and perhaps adopted by traveling human merchants. It was… unpleasant.

"I met a spirit in the city once, haunting an elven alienage," Solas continued. "It had lived there long and lonely years before the city grew around it. I knew not what it once was, driven mad as it had been by despair around it. Voices of hunger, loss, pain, confusion, doubt, and more cried daily. I imagine it must have once been Compassion," his eyes flickered briefly to Cole's form, wandering the perimeter of the camp. "It showed me flashes of dreams, a jumble of faces twisted in tears, gaunt with starvation, or stilled by death… children crying for their lost innocence, adults turned to stone by sorrow and fear. The spirit longed to flee, but had forgotten where there was to go, and its existence was compounded by the madness of despair it spread to those around it."

Ash let out a shuddering sigh. Somehow, these tales seemed appropriate on the heels of Crestwood. After finding out the mayor himself had drowned the old town in a tragic attempt to save those he could, it felt like a vigil.

"Do you wish me to continue?" Solas broke her reverie. "I do not have particularly uplifting stories on my mind this night."

"Must they be?" she leaned back on her elbows and looked up into the sky. Stars were beginning to appear. "I didn't feel particularly cheerful tonight anyway. Were you _in Crestwood?_ "

Solas chortled for the first time that night.

"Ah. Are you suggesting you would emotionally hamstring yourself over past events that you cannot change?"

"What?" she was chagrined. Ash turned on her side and glared at the smug elf. "Look. Maybe you're joking, but... Okay, consider a world with only joy. No tragedy. No loss. And one day, a terrible thing happens. Perhaps just the once. But it would be a greater tragedy to forget that it ever happened."

Solas blew air out his nose.

"I know it's a heavy-handed example," she scowled, "but the point is, I'm not wallowing. I'm… remembering."

The elven mage shook his head and sighed.

"As you say."

"Oh, shut it," she hissed. "You agree with me."

Solas laughed.

"Yes," he caved. She felt relief ease the tension in her shoulders.

He began another story, this one of a cave beyond a waterfall that served as a respite for a lonely ranger. Then another, and another, until Ash's eyes were heavy-lidded with drowsiness and the stars blurred overhead.

"What of your past?" Solas asked softly. He was lying fully on the ground now. The fire crackled low nearby. All the Inquisition soldiers had turned in for the night. Cole was still about, somewhere.

"It's a simple one," Ash propped her head up behind her arms and glanced at the mage.

"But it is yours," he said. "I would know it." She bit her lower lip and looked back up into the cloudless night sky.

"I am a child of the strongest hunters in my clan, one of three, and the youngest," she began. "My older brother, Theolan, is a mage. He's one of the most talented mages I've ever met, and he knows it."

"Oh, is he?" Solas's tone left no doubt to that he wondered how he measured up.

"You two together?" she scoffed. "It would be insufferable." Ash hesitated. "My older sister, Thalanil, followed in our mother's footsteps and took up the bow. I was the smallest, and so naturally I decided the great axe of my father was for me."

"Is that the reason? The impracticality of it?"

"I was stubborn. And I knew my father wanted a warrior in his bloodline," she shrugged. Ash sighed, readying herself for the rest of the tale. "I proved to be very good, once I had made myself strong enough. I goaded my siblings into many hunts we likely should not have taken on alone."

"I am shocked."

"When the blight began, we didn't realize it for a time. I convinced Theo and Thala that we should go on an extended hunt. Venture days from our clan. Test ourselves."

Solas was silent now. He sensed the shift in her story.

"We were attacked by darkspawn on our third day out. I remember counting each day. I wanted to tell the story of our journeys for years to come. We'd never encountered anything like them. We retreated into the forest, but Thala was wounded. She had been infected by the taint, though we did not understand it at the time," Ash shut her eyes. She could still see her sister's face, twisted in pain, and fearful she would not make it home to see their mother and father. "My brother's magic could not heal her. She died on the third day of the journey back, only miles from home."

She heard Solas shift closer across the grass. She looked over as he propped himself on an elbow to face her.

"You blame yourself?"

"Yes," Ash said without hesitation. "I know we would have done well on that excursion, if not for the darkspawn. I know now they would have encountered my clan regardless, as they did a few days later. But it does not matter." His expression was cryptic as ever. "I have mixed feelings about the number three."

His eyebrows and lips twitched in macabre amusement.

Ash snapped her stare back to the sky. She felt her eyes grow hot. _Damn it._ She rolled on her side away from Solas.

A warm hand pressed gently against her upper back.

" _Ir abelas, falon._ "

She blew out a long, shuddering sigh. He called her _falon_. Her chest tightened.

" _Ir nuvena suledin,_ " she said quietly. " _Ir telema._ "

"This from the woman who earlier tonight told me that we are better for remembering our tragedies," he chided. A bemused laugh forced its way out her throat.

"I am all contradictions. That should surely instill confidence in those around me."

"If you do not stop belittling yourself, I will chuck you into the fire," he promised.

Ash's laugh was parts grateful and defiant. She sat up and narrowed her eyes. Solas did not move from his languid position, propped up on one elbow, but his gaze followed her. She had been ready to spit a retort at him, but the intimacy of their closeness made her falter. Instead, she pushed herself to her feet.

"I've enjoyed this," she smiled warmly down at him, then moved toward her tent. Ash stopped at the entrance and looked back. Solas was sitting up now, watching her. " _On era'vun, falon._ " He smiled, and this time it reflected in his eyes.

" _On era'vun._ "


	11. Wardens and Their Damn Secrets

_**Thank you for all the follows/favs! The fandom is actually a nice part of the fun of this. If you have any ideas or thoughts or requests, please feel free to share.**_

 _ **In this episode, the Inquisition learns of the Wardens in the Western Approach and that they should go... talk to them? Fight them? Something. Also, Ash can't get Blackwall off her mind, which works out nicely, because he apparently can't get her off his. Minor non-canon romance ensues!**_

The group struck out early the next day, which proved to be fortuitous when they were delayed by the unexpected arrival of some excessively aggressive Red Templars. It was an unpleasant reminder of the allies Corypheus was amassing while they ran around looking for answers.

Ash finally caught sight of Varric and Hawke standing outside a cave in early afternoon. A banner of a skull with a red slash of paint obscuring the eyes hung over the entrance.

"There you are, Eggshells," Varric waved in greeting.

"Glad to see you in one piece. We only just got here," Hawke turned to usher them through the tunnel. "Stroud should be at the back of this cave."

"Have you spoken with him?" Ash asked as they headed back.

"We wanted to keep an eye out for you first," Varric said.

"Ah. Well, we ran into some Wardens outside Crestwood. They were looking to bring him in," she continued. "What do you make of that?"

Hawke and Varric exchanged wary glances.

"I don't trust it," Hawke said firmly. She rubbed her chin and scowled. "They might well be good men, but if that's so, they're following bad orders."

They walked a short distance to the back of the cave, where a blood-stained door with the same skull and red blindfold banner painted across it.

"What do you suppose that means?" Ash asked aloud.

"Looks like the mark of the Blind Men," Dorian offered. "Uncouth group of smugglers."

"Don't they sometimes supply your homeland with slaves?" Blackwall didn't try to hide the note of disgust.

"Yes, among other things. Though judging from these bloodstains, I daresay they're not using this cave much right now."

"Stroud paid them back only some of what they were owed," Cole whispered.

Ash pushed the door open and stepped through into a wider room dimly lit with candles. She moved forward warily. A few tables had papers scattered across them.

Her ear twitched at the sound of metal stretching across leather. She turned quickly and found herself standing face to sword. At the end of the sword was a dour looking human with impressive armor and an even more impressive moustache.

Blackwall put his hand on his sword hilt and stepped next to Ash. Hawke moved through the doorway and laughed.

"Easy, all. Stroud, this is the Inquisitor. And apparently her bodyguard," the tall rogue smirked.

"One of many," Dorian quipped as the rest of the party entered.

The Grey Warden looked between Hawke, Blackwall, and Ash. He scanned Ash more thoroughly, then seemed to come to a decision. He nodded and sheathed his sword.

"I am at your service, Inquisitor," Stroud said in a clear, strong voice.

"It seems we might be able to help each other in kind," the slight elven warrior was glad that ended amiably. "I have heard the Grey Wardens are having troubles of their own. I'm here to ask… might they have something to do with my own enemy? Corypheus?"

Stroud returned the nod of her head and confirmed her suspicions. It turned out he had exactly the same ones. Between Hawke's and the Inquisition's accounts, it seemed Corypheus had power on par of an archdemon. Both could survive fatal wounds. Both wielded the power of corruption.

And if all the Wardens throughout Orlais were hearing the Calling, it _could_ be Corypheus's doing.

It could be that the Wardens were so desperate to address a great evil, that they fell prey to the manipulations of that very thing.

"But they're _not_ being controlled," concluded Hawke. "They're just being tricked. We can reason with them."

Stroud revealed he knew of a desperate plan the Warden-Commander Clarel was enacting. It was a blood magic ritual that required lives in exchange for demons. And it was why Stroud chose to flee, when he refused to go along with it. The rituals were taking place in the Western Approach, in an ancient tower. It was there the Inquisition must go next, if they wanted to know more about what Corypheus wanted from the Wardens.

Ash felt a surge of affection and pride for the stalwart man. He had risked so much to stand up against the very order to which he'd given his life. Unshakeable principle. She glanced at Blackwall. Here, too, was a man haunted by the imminent promise of his own demise, however false they now knew it to be, yet he had resisted.

They made plans to meet in the Western Approach when the Inquisition was prepared, to investigate this lead, and perhaps find a way to stop Corypheus.

Ash felt renewed pressure alongside hope as they ventured back to Skyhold. She made her reports to Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine, received updates in kind, and departed to think on the new information. She was not five steps into the main hall when Mother Giselle intercepted her.

 _What now?_ Ash tried to maintain neutrality, but the constant demands were starting to wear on her. The Mother had been in contact with Dorian's family, the House Pavus. Ash frowned. She knew the Tevinter mage had few friends here, and now here was his family sending out feelers to the Skyhold morality police.

It seemed harmless on its face. Dorian's family just wanted to arrange a meeting… without telling Dorian. Ash knew they weren't on good terms, so she wondered if he would accept. She was all too familiar with that brand of stubborn.

She also knew what it was to regret things unsaid with family. She would have to think on it. If Ash could help Dorian with this piece of himself, she wanted to make sure she did so with her full attention… or at least a deal more that she could spare now. She filed it at the back of her mind and continued out the main doors.

Corypheus wielded the power of the blight… Was that even something Tevinter mages of old could do? If only she knew half the history Solas did. They could stop all the blood rituals and juiced-up Templars their hearts desired, but what good was it if Corypheus himself couldn't be killed? Perhaps he could be felled by a Grey Warden, like an archdemon. Or perhaps his power was tied directly to the orb Solas had mentioned.

Ash's head hurt. This wasn't her strong suit. Or at least, she'd always brainstormed with someone more cerebral than herself. Her brother Theolan would be better at this leadership business.

Her eyes dropped to the green gash on her hand. Couldn't be helped now.

She realized she was headed toward Blackwall's barn. She almost laughed. _Miss him already, do you?_ she chided herself. Though she _did_ wonder about his plan for her new set of armor.

 _Maker, it had better not be plate mail._

"Morning, Inquisitor," Threnn nodded curtly as the elf passed. Ash nodded back, then to the merchant at her left, to Master Dennet, eye contact with each soldier she passed… Ash blew a sigh through her lips. Being attentive was exhausting.

The barn loomed ahead. Staccato tapping echoed quietly from within, growing clearer as Ash approached. She could make out the thick form of Blackwall by the sturdy worktable. A warm fire crackled behind him. She tilted her head to get a better view of the project before him.

 _Is that a_ … her lips spread in amusement. A wooden rocking griffon. Child-sized. Blackwall was so engrossed in the finer details of his woodwork that he didn't even notice Ash until she was almost upon him. He straightened, coughed, and watched her eyes shift from him to the griffon.

"This? This is just… something to keep the hands busy," he explained seriously.

"You need to keep your hands busy? I have suggestions," she said before she could stop herself.

"I, uh…" he alternated stammering and throat clearing. He turned to lay down his tools and straighten a few things on the work station. "That's not necessary. You've done more than enough. And I don't want to seem ungrateful."

"You give me too much credit," she moved to the table and leaned against it. Ash hooked one hand on a wrist and crossed her legs at the ankles. Blackwall glanced briefly up at her.

"Not at all. If not for you, I'd still be wandering the woodlands," he said firmly. "And while that has its own appeal, it's good to be a part of something like the Inquisition. Especially after the past few days. We made a difference. And we're likely the only ones looking into the Grey Wardens."

"Then it's just the work keeping you here?" Ash watched for his reaction. She was surprised when he turned and met her steady gaze.

"Well…" he hesitated. "There's you, of course." Ash held her breath. "The Inquisition is nothing without its Herald." She exhaled.

"So they tell me."

"It's no small thing," his thick eyebrows furrowed earnestly. He stepped away from the table, away from Ash, and looked down into the fire. "Those we follow. They shape who we become, for good or ill. I had a chance once, as a young man, to follow a different path."

Ash had half expected a tight-lipped, walled-off Blackwall after their recent adventures. A fortress of stone, like the one Solas had erected when Ash got too close. Instead, here was hesitant warmth. A story of his past. She had tried for weeks to get him to speak of his life back at Haven, and nothing. He would never budge before.

"What chance?"

Blackwall didn't look up from the fire.

"There was a chevalier. A powerful man, but never without honor. A true knight," his voice was low and distant as he walked the memory. "I was fighting in the Grand Tourney. We both made it up the ranks. He was my final competitor. And he let me win. Said I had everything to gain, and he, nothing to lose. I didn't see the act for what it was. He offered to train me, to become a chevalier like him."

Ash's eyebrows raised.

"You trained with a chevalier?" the elf knew a little of the organization. Only nobles ever served in their ranks, and the training was so uniquely rigorous that tales of it reached even the Dalish. Blackwall chuckled brusquely.

"No. I didn't need him. I'd just won the Grand Tourney," he declared with a note of self-deprecation. He finally turned to face her. "I had more balls than sense, then."

One corner of Ash's mouth quirked upward.

"I'll have to trust you on that."

"Ah, well," he nervously twisted the palm of one hand in the other, "I had an actual point to all this. That my life… It could've been very different. But I was young and stupid. Proud. I regretted that for many years."

"But surely no longer," she was smiling still. "If your life had been different, we wouldn't have met." Blackwall let loose a hearty chuckle.

"Nothing escapes your notice." He stared at her for a quiet moment that stretched into seconds. "Aye, it's true. I could never regret this life." The nervous hands broke apart, clamped into loose fists, and fell to his sides. "Not with you in it."

Ash was holding her breath again. Her heart banged in her chest like a flustered bird. Blackwall grunted softly as he crossed his arms.

"I, ah… I hope you can forgive me for pushing you away."

Ash looked down to the ground in an unconscious futile attempt to hide her spreading smile.

"You may have noticed I haven't exactly let it go."

"I did notice that, yes. Still," he twisted his hands again, "I owe you an explanation. Who I am. What I am. But not here."

A fine line of confusion appeared between Ash's eyebrows.

"Oh? Why not here?" she cocked her head to one side. "Where, then? Is this a public setting sort of thing?" Her eyes narrowed. "Are you afraid of me, Blackwall?"

He laughed softly and tension eased from his shoulders.

"More than I should be, I'd wager," he chuckled. He shook his head and cleared his throat. "But, truly. I can explain. It isn't pressing, but I would appreciate it. When you're ready."

Ash looked behind her, half expecting Cullen to appear right then with a report of her being needed in the North town of Wherever. But the yard was clear and the sky shone early midday. She had some time. She turned back to Blackwall with a jerk of her head toward the stables.

"Now works."

She moved to saddle a horse. Blackwall looked after her a moment, hesitating. Heat was already rising to his face. Beads of sweat gathered on his neck. _You can do this,_ he clenched his fists tightly.

Dorian walked out to the ramparts for a change of scenery and stretched in the cool mountain air. He noticed Cole sitting atop the wall, peering intently at the bridge out of Skyhold. His curiosity piqued, he sauntered over. The spirit didn't move, but a slight twist of the wide-brimmed hat told Dorian that Cole heard his approach.

The Tevinter mage opened his mouth to issue a greeting, when movement on the bridge caught his eye. He squinted and leaned forward, staring alongside Cole.

"Is that… Blackwall?"

"And the Inquisitor," Cole's hat bobbed in affirmation.

"Where the bloody hell are they going?" The Inquisitor never left on her missions without a small contingent. _Without consulting me,_ Dorian mused, slightly miffed.

Cole's legs were stretched out before him, dangling stories above the ground. He tapped his feet together lightly.

"He thinks he's going to tell her," he announced in his wistful voice.

"Oh?" Dorian half-heard him. He wondered for a moment if he should saddle a horse and catch up to the Inquisitor.

"He knows another him would tell her. But then it would be real. And he knows she _isn't_ _real_. He wants her to stay real," Cole continued softly. Dorian caught that part. He blinked and turned fully to face the spirit.

" _What?_ " the word snapped out of his mouth. Cole jumped, startled, and turned to the mage with wide eyes.

"What?" he echoed confusedly.

"You were saying…" Dorian blinked a few more times, rapidly. "Who's real?"

Cole paused.

"She _isn't_ ," he corrected.

"Who isn't?"

"His Inquisitor," Cole explained gently. There was a hint of concern for Dorian's exasperation.

Dorian stared at him for a beat.

"You're confused, Cole."

The spirit gazed back uncertainly.

"I am, now."

Dorian half-snorted, half-guffawed. He turned and shook his head as he walked back to the library.

Blackwall and Ash had been on and off the main roads for awhile now. Ash was curious of their destination, but had decided to allow Blackwall his secrets. He was so soon to part with some of them, she thought it a nice farewell gift.

He had not spoken a word since they crossed the bridge out of Skyhold. He would not even look at her. Ash felt a nettling sense of dread. It dug claws into her gut and settled in to fester. Blackwall was just so… somber. More serious than usual, and that was a feat. Her mind started down the treacherous path of entertaining what he might have to confess.

When they crossed over into the Sword Coast, she almost laughed at how the drizzling rain suited the mood.

"Up past this ridge… I fought a battle here once," he sounded like he barely remembered she was there. Ash couldn't see his face from where she stood. They dismounted their horses and climbed up to a cliff that overlooked the sea. Light, cold sprinkles of rain hit Ash's face. The ground around them was partially overgrown. She might have mistaken some mounds as stones, were it not for the bits of bone or armor peeking out between greenery. A few rusted weapons lay about. She wondered who the bodies had once been.

Blackwall stopped a few feet ahead of her. He seemed like a statue, staring down at the ground.

"The Warden-Constable's badge," he finally spoke with quiet surprise. He bent to pick up the small piece of metal, slightly worn from exposure.

"You mean _your_ badge," Ash stepped closer. He was acting even more guarded than usual. So careful, like a deer scouting unfamiliar terrain. "You must have dropped it in the battle."

A moment of silence stretched long enough that she wondered if he even heard her.

"Yes," he finally murmured. "How careless of me. After all, I… did earn it."

Blackwall finally turned to Ash. He scanned the ground around him, then looked up into her face.

"This was my life before I met you. Crumbling ruins. Endless battles. Death."

The sea behind him churned in dark waves capped with angry white foam that faded into the misty horizon.

"That doesn't sound so different from now," she said it carefully, with a smirk. "For all your concern, you are only selling me more on why we are well-suited for each other."

He chuckled.

"You tease, but…" he looked around at the ruins. "There's nothing more for me here." He rubbed the back of his hand across the droplets on his forehead. "Let's return. We can talk back at Skyhold."

Blackwall started toward the horses at the bottom of the hill. Ash shook her head in disbelief.

"We're leaving?" she balked.

"I know. I'm sorry. I need some time to think."

 _No. Damn. Way._

"You've been thinking the whole way out here!"

"This isn't done. I just…" his voice trailed off when he didn't figure out how to end the sentence. The elven warrior jogged to catch up to him. She took hold of his arms and swung herself into his way.

"Hold on. Blackwall. Damnit, look at me!"

He did so, reluctantly. Ash pursed her lips and took a breath to steady herself so she didn't tear into him.

"I know whatever this is… it's difficult for you. And Maker knows you'd rather never be bothered, judging by your penchant for living far from any sort of civilization," she said. "So… I _do_ appreciate that you're trying. And we came all this way. Just to talk! Let's _do that._ " She gave him a firm shake, and even for all her strength, the block of a man barely moved.

He looked down into her face with an intensity that unsettled her. She didn't know what to expect. Would he take her in his arms? Would he scream at her? Run into the forest, never to return?

"I never expected to find someone like you," he finally spoke through gritted teeth. "I never expected to be in a place again where I could appreciate what I'd found. And I don't deserve it." His voice was taut with frustration. His neck corded with tension.

"Blackwall…"

"And don't tell me I do. You don't understand," he shook his head fiercely. "Why don't you trust me? Why can't you believe me when I say, it's not worth it?"

"You've given me no reason to!" she let go of him finally to throw her arms wide. "You bring me out here to say, hey, look at all this history we have in common."

"I can't… I don't know how to explain…" he stumbled over the words. His eyes were on his fists as they flexed, the leather yawning in protest.

Ash watched him battling whatever thoughts tumbled inside his head. He looked for all the world like he might slam his fist into a tree, roar at the sky, and never speak of this again. She didn't want that.

"Alright," she stepped back from him. "Back to Skyhold, then."

He looked up warily. She was already to her horse and pulling herself atop it.

"I'm sorry for this, my lady."

"Come on, then," her voice was more terse than she intended.

She was frustrated. Since she'd met Blackwall, he'd dodged attempts to get to know him. Evaded questions with sweeping statements or deflected probing with sincere but flattering observations of Ashiril instead. All that she _did_ know of him drew his character as a completely dedicated, stalwart, and earnest man. And each day that he let her closer, he wound tighter with an underlying anxiety she didn't understand. For someone so forthright and grounded in his beliefs, it was unexpected. It worried her.

Were his secrets truly that bad?

They started back in silence. This time, Ash felt his mind was on her, instead of grasping at the past. He felt embarrassed by what had transpired. They left the Sword Coast and made their way through a forest that reminded Ash of her home in the North. Their horses emerged into a clearing that led down to a grassy bank by a stream.

A jarring and painful idea came to Ash then.

"Hold," she spoke the first word since they left the Storm Coast. She dismounted.

"What is it?" Blackwall was looking around for unseen foes. She walked to the forest line and looked around, to the stream, up into the sky.

"This place, the forest opening to this stream, with the sun a few hours from dusk… It reminds me of a time with my siblings."

"You have siblings?"

She nodded.

"Theolan and Thalanil. I was the youngest, but I was always the one pushing us into trouble," she walked up to a large tree and rested her hand against it.

"I can't say I'm surprised," Blackwall found himself smiling a little.

"We were three days into a hunt. The longest we'd ever undergone from home. It was about this time of day…" she turned to look into the trees. "Theo and I were several yards into the forest. We heard the stream before we saw it, and Thala went ahead to it. I climbed a tree to get a vantage of our position…"

Ash looked up into the sky again and blinked against the bright sun. The Warden frowned and dismounted. She turned and slowly raised a hand to point across the stream and to the land beyond.

"I broke through the canopy and… and I didn't understand what it was I saw at first. A sea. A moving, dark sea that glinted in the day," her golden eyes swiveled to Blackwall. "We had never seen darkspawn. I didn't even realize it was an army at first."

"Oh, Ash…" he started toward her, but she looked away and toward the stream again.

"I was still on my way down from the tree when I heard Thala screaming. Theo reached her first," Ash ran down and splashed into the water. She spun back toward the concerned Warden and smiled ruefully. "She'd taken down five on her own. My sister, the gentle archer." She looked away again and splashed further into the stream. The water swirled around her calves. "She had three more on her when I finally found her. I saw red. I still can't remember exactly what happened."

Ash held out her arms with her palms facing down, as if sensing changes in the air. She waved one hand behind her back toward the forest.

"I know I screamed at Theo to take her to safety. And then I killed them all."

Blackwall splashed to the edge of the small river. Ash backed away from him. The water was to her knees now.

"We ran back into the forest. I threw my sister over my shoulder and Theo kept them off us. We just kept running. Hiding. Picking off stray darkspawn," she shook her head and looked down at the clear stream rushing past her armored feet. She hadn't thought this hard on that day since the day she described it to her clan. To her parents. "Thala was delirious. I didn't understand what was happening to her. It was like a fever had gripped her. And my brother's magic couldn't heal her."

"Ash, you don't have to tell me this," he continued to move toward her. She stepped back quickly into a crouch like a wary animal.

"That was how we learned of the blight," she shook her head as if in disbelief. "We tried to get back to the clan, before... She deserved at least to say goodbye." Ash sighed deeply and collapsed into the stream. The water surged up over her legs and against her waist. "And of course, we didn't make it. So. I carry that."

The Warden's heart pounded harder as her golden eyes lifted to his face again. He had not expected this. He wanted to take the pain reflected in her expression and get rid of it somehow. Fix it. Promise her whatever it took. She didn't deserve this.

Water churned noisily around his legs as he waded out to her. Ash waved him away weakly.

"Ash, I'm so sorry," he said softly.

Her head whipped up then, eyes narrowed to slits. Faint streams of tears lined her cheeks. Her mouth was a tight, angry line.

"I didn't tell you this for your condolences," she snapped. Ash immediately regretted lashing out. She shook her head and her loose braid bounced around her shoulders. "I told you… because I want you to know me."

Ash started to reach up to Blackwall. He fell to his knees next to her in response. The cold water bit through his clothes immediately. He gritted his teeth. Her fingers touched his chest and trailed up to his neck. He grasped one hand in his and took gentle hold of her neck, squeezing lightly.

"I know it's difficult. For me, at least. And I've been demanding of you, but I truly don't know…"she clasped her hand on his that held her neck. Blackwall leaned closer.

"You've been nothing but wonderful," he shook his head. She coughed on a laugh of disbelief. He touched his other thumb to her cheek and wiped at a faint tear.

"You do neither of us justice with that constant rose-colored view of me," she smirked.

"I like to think of it as balancing your overly critical view of yourself," he retorted.

She laughed and leaned forward into his chest. The hand on her neck moved around to pull her closer. Ash inhaled his scent, of sawdust and sweat and pine. She moved her face against his thick beard. He shifted toward her. She felt her hair move as he nuzzled against it and breathed deeply. Her arms tightened around him.

"Blackwall… If whatever this is… if you can't do it, I…"

"Shhh. Let's leave it. Just for now," his arms tightened on her. The water had thoroughly soaked them below the waists at this point. She shivered to accentuate the point. "We're going to have an uncomfortable ride back."

Her laughter was crisp and sincere. She leaned back to smile up into his face, opened her mouth to tease him about how he'd best hurry lest the river claim him in all his heavy armor, and paused. He was looking at her with heavy-lidded eyes. His jaw pulsed with nervous clenching. Her heart immediately pounded harder against her chest.

She smoothed hair back from his face and pressed her palm against his warm cheek. His head moved very slightly, halfheartedly trying to shake himself clear of her influence. Her fingers curled into his silky hair. Ash pressed her forehead to his and closed her eyes.

She felt his hands squeeze her shoulders. His nose grazed against hers. His breath was warm on her skin.

"Black-" she started to whisper his name. _No_ , he thought. _Don't say it._

He pressed his mouth to hers. The word became a gasp against his lips.

He pulled her close to him and kissed her with a sudden, unexpected fervor. She reciprocated without hesitation, grabbing a handful of his thick black hair in one hand and clutching him close with her other. She growled with delight and deepened the kiss, pressing greedily against his mouth. It had been so long that she had wanted this.

Blackwall rumbled in agreement as he gripped her behind the head. He hadn't expected to kiss her. But now he could taste her. He was pressed against her warm, soft skin. He imagined what the rest of her must feel like. And her response was explosive. She was like fire under his touch. It made him burn like a wick, barreling toward a certain and intense explosion.

Her body arched up against him in her excitement. She instinctively picked a leg up to encircle his waist, and they tumbled backward. Cold water engulfed them. They gasped in unison and Blackwall reared backward, pulling the shocked elf with him.

They stared into each other's bewildered faces. Water ran in clear rivulets down Blackwall's face and into his beard. Ash's eyes were wide and red. Her lips shivered from the sudden cold. She started laughing.

The Warden gathered his senses then. He smiled grimly and stood, gathering Ash into his arms. She clung to him, still laughing.

"And people expect us to save the world," she grinned.

He sloshed to the bank and set her down gently.

"I've no doubt you will," he said. She colored in a blush

"You'll never stop with that endless faith, will you?"

"When you give me a reason, my lady," his smile was assured. It made her stomach flutter in ways she hadn't felt since her first summers as a hunter. He turned his gaze to her horse and helped her onto it. "For now, we should get back to Skyhold. I promise you, I just need to gather my thoughts. Then we shall speak again."

She bent down from the saddle and kissed him fast on the cheek. He blushed beneath his thick beard, but his eyes remained intense on her. She held his gaze.

"I know. I'll hold you to it."


	12. Give In

_**I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this take on the Blackwall romance! It's only beginning. In this episode, our dear Warden torments himself on the best course of action in regards to Ash's affections. Ultimately, of course, he'll fall inevitable victim to the Inquisitor's wiles. Sort of. Briefly. He's trying! Expect some angst and steaminess.**_

Ashiril didn't say a word to Blackwall as they rode across the bridge to Skyhold and to the stables. His stomach knotted in anticipation as they neared the barn. They dismounted in silence together, stalled their horses, and then he turned to the small elven woman. In all the ride home, he still hadn't decided what to say.

It didn't matter, he quickly realized. The Inquisitor's bright eyes crinkled in a sly smile at the Warden. She placed a slender finger to her dusky pink lips, her head moved in a slight nod, and she turned and walked away toward the main hall.

 _So. I am to come to her when I'm ready._

He lowered his head and sighed deeply. _And when will that be?_ He needed a distraction. Blackwall moved to his workbench and stared down. Perhaps another small wood project, something quick to get his mind moving. He smoothed out a piece of paper and started scribbling plans for a small toy.

It was only minutes before his plan failed and his mind wandered back to Ash. He could still see so clearly how she had looked as she stood ankle-deep in that river. Her olive-skin was flushed with painful memories. Full dark eyebrows had drawn her clear, lovely face in worried lines. Her auburn hair had been pulled starkly back from her face, enhancing her strained expression.

She had always been lovely to him. He'd heard some of the more vulgar soldiers after a few beers considering her features. Some complained they were too angular and hard, such as the straight hook of her nose or the strong line of her jaw. Or that she held too many scars, that there was too much dirt beneath her fingernails, or some other nonsense. He'd noted their faces and politely disagreed in training the next day with his sword. _Fools, all of them_. Hers was a fierce beauty.

So, it was uniquely bittersweet when she crumbled in that river.

He couldn't _not_ take her in his arms. He couldn't not console her after sharing such a story of her past. And of course, once he'd laid hands on this woman who set his blood boiling with a thought, who encouraged his every hesitation, who wanted him in ways that still astounded him, he couldn't not kiss her.

A slender dowel rod snapped in his hands and somersaulted across the barn. Blackwall glanced around. No one saw that. Not that they'd be able to deduce what he was thinking… Gods, how embarrassing _that_ would be. Although sometimes he wondered if Cole _could_ read his mind. Blackwall scowled. But then, he _was_ a spirit. Maybe he _could_ see the Warden's past…

Blackwall's face started to burn. His past.

Ashiril had told him of her past. She wanted to know his. His hands turned to fists so tight that his fingernails cut into the palm of his hands.

 _I'm out of time. I have to tell her. That this is all a lie. That_ I'm _a lie._

Or… he could end it.

Push her away now and spare them both the grief of when it happened later, when the shearing of their interconnected lives would be even more painful. It was bound to happen. She deserved better than that.

Blackwall shut his eyes as the memory of her kiss came rushing back. Her lips had been warm, the skin of her face soft against his, her tongue inviting… He would have lost himself if not for the icy river.

How much more intoxicating would it be if he could have held her without the impediment of their unyielding armor? She was impressively agile and lithe. What might her body would feel like unhindered and intertwining with his?

The memory of the caves rose to the forefront. She had loomed over him, breathing fast, muscles trembling from the recent battle. She had looked wild with the blood and torchlight on her face. For all her bluster over the deepstalker, her eyes had still flashed hungrily over his face and down his body. He had felt how her thighs tightened on him. He knew he could go to her tonight, hold her close to him, and taste her again. She had all but asked him to do just that.

 _Ow._ He was biting hard into his lip. _This… is bad._

"You have to tell her," he growled as he shook his head tersely.

"Tell who what?"

Blackwall jerked straight upward and spun around. Sera was leaning against a wooden column a few feet away, arms crossed and curious eyes on the flustered Warden.

"How long have you been there?" he half chortled. His face started to burn with embarrassment.

"Long enough to know you're twisted up over something," the elven archer smirked knowingly. "Or someone."

Heat rose from the collar of his shirt.

"While I appreciate your concern, I'm not in the mood," he turned his back to her and stared into the nearby fire. Sera snorted a laugh.

"Never are when it matters," she walked over to where he could see her, spun on her heel and planted her fists on her hips. "And I only wanted to have a sit with you at the tavern. Apparently there's something on instead."

"No," he grimaced. A moment passed. He shrugged. "Not completely."

"Go on."

The Warden shook his head and sighed.

"I… The Inquisitor and I have… become closer."

"Old news, innit?" she smirked. Blackwall looked surprised. She rolled her eyes. "Everybody knows you and the Inquisitor have been at each other. Or she's been at you, and you're playing coy. Is that what this is about?"

"Is that what… Wait. Everyone knows? Who says there's anything to know?"

"Come on," she scoffed. "You two went off on your own today. Dorian spent the afternoon sassing about it. What happened? One of you talk about feelings and the other talked about duty? Seems right."

Blackwall frowned.

"I don't know whether to be surprised at your accuracy or annoyed by the assumptions," he snorted.

"Too right, then. Knew it," Sera shrugged. "So, right, you like her, she knows it. Now what?"

The Warden shook his head.

"Now… nothing. It can't work, Sera."

The elf blew an exasperated noise between pursed lips.

"You _Wardens_ and your _seriousness_. Why can't it work? There's no reason."

"You don't know what you're talking about," his voice was sharp. He cleared his throat uncertainly. "Why are you even concerned about this?"

Both blond eyebrows furrowed together. She extended one hand to tick off her reasons.

"Alright, one," a finger shot up, "you're both friends. Didn't think you would be at first, but there it is. So. It matters. And two, I'm here for the Inquisition. If the two of you are moping about whatever, it matters," she scowled at him as if he were doing a disservice not already knowing the point. "Just come out with it."

He snorted and shook his head.

"Would you… What would you do if you knew something that would… help someone you cared about, but it would cost you something you cared about?"

"Why can't I have both?" Sera squinted her face in distaste. "Because you say so, for reasons?"

"No, because… Damnit, Sera," he sighed and rubbed his face. "Because some things are already done."

"Everything's already done. What you're saying is, you know something Ash should know, but you think it'll cost you… what? Her?"

"That's what I'm saying."

"Alright," Sera shook her head and pondered a moment. "You think it'll cost you her. But you don't know. So… tell her."

Blackwall's laugh was deep and sincere.

"Oh, Sera. It's not that simple."

"But you say she should know? Make it that simple. You like her, don't you?"

He couldn't deny it. He nodded reluctantly.

"Then tell her. Before some other sod moves in. And believe me, they want to."

He didn't like the sound of that.

"I can't just… Look, maybe it was easy once, but it's not now. I've made too many mistakes."

"Want to practice on me?" she cocked her head to one side. "Pretend I'm Inky? Tell me your deep dark things?"

"Tempting, but… no."

"Thought you'd be stubborn. Well, figure it out. And come meet me in the tavern when you're done," Sera stared at him a few seconds longer. She narrowed her eyes, shrugged, and headed out of the barn.

The Warden sighed, walked to the edge of the barn and looked up into the sky.

 _If I tell her, I lose everything. I'd have to leave the Inquisition and pay for my crime. The Inquisition will lose my aid, but she will know. She deserves that. The question, then, is… how much does the Inquisition need me?_

Blackwall had been proud once, and stupid in more ways than one, but these days he erred on the side of humble. He imagined Ash would argue the Inquisition needed all of them, but he was willing to bet the massive force the elven warrior had amassed would not be compromised by his absence. She couldn't stop this.

There was still the matter of the Wardens. Blackwall owed them his life.

"That's it." The answer was suddenly clear. He needed to stay until this business with the Wardens was concluded. He could try to explain at least that much, that he needed to focus on their mission at least a little while longer.

Blackwall started walking back across the lower courtyard of Skyhold. He glanced around at the merchant tables, crafters, and soldiers at work. This place was exploding with life now.

He scanned for Ash as he walked. She could be anywhere at anytime in Skyhold.

The voices in the Great Hall seemed to drop lower when he entered. The tips of his ears burned hot. The Warden didn't miss this part of society, the rampant rumors that fed the curiosity of bored nobles.

"If you're looking for the Inquisitor, she's left for Redcliffe," a soft voice with an Antivan accent announced behind him. Blackwall turned to see the knowing smile of Josephine.

"Redcliffe?" he was surprised. "We just got back from the Storm Coast."

"I'm well aware," she nodded politely, "but she had some private affairs to handle. She should be back late tomorrow."

Blackwall exhaled. He felt… relieved? Disappointed. Both.

"I'm glad you let me know. I might've searched the whole grounds otherwise."

"Yes," she had the slyest smile he had ever seen on the ambassador, "I imagine you would have. I am glad to be of service."

She inclined her head in a nod and continued toward her office. He tried to ignore that even the lovely ambassador seemed to have opinions on what was going on between the Inquisitor and himself. He headed to the Undercroft.

Dagna was working on a helmet at her station. She looked up at his approach and her eyes brightened.

"I'm so glad you stopped in!" she set down her mallet and rushed to an armor stand. He tracked her movement until his gaze landed on the masterpiece resting on it. "What do you think?"

He approached it and ran his fingers down the sleek, steel blue pauldron, the soft, strong leather straps linking to the chestplate, across the seamless transitions from metal to hardened leather to metal again at key areas of motion, to give the wearer the most flexibility possible. The gauntlets and greaves were made of the same material, with beautiful patterns of Ashiril's clan etched into them.

"This is… perfect," he admitted. The dwarf beamed. He'd had his doubts about the dwarf when she arrived at Skyhold. Who had ever heard of a dwarf specializing in magic? But Dagna had more than proven herself. This was a magnificent work of armor, made from the hardy Stormheart ore Blackwall had found in the mines of Crestwood. It would offer protection that would rival the best suit of plate mail, and the light flexibility he knew Ash valued.

He couldn't wait to give it to her.

Blackwall made his thanks to Dagna, then wrapped the armor to transport in secret to Ash's quarters. If she wouldn't be back for a day or so, then there was no reason he couldn't make this an even more grandiose gesture.

The next day, Ash returned from Redcliffe with Dorian. The mage was more pensive than he had ever been since she met him. Almost as soon as they walked through the gates of Skyhold, he murmured a goodbye and headed to the upper levels to brood in his alcove.

 _Two for zero, Ash_ , she thought ruefully. She really wasn't having luck with communicating with the men in her life. It was no wonder. He probably didn't appreciate being ambushed with family he'd specifically told her he had bad blood with. She steeled herself and followed him to do cleanup.

She emerged at the top of the stairs and spied him standing next to the tall window at the end of his alcove, staring quietly out of it. She approached. A few moments passed before he spoke.

"He says we're alike. Too much pride," his voice was calculated, distant. "Once I would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. Now…"

"Dorian, I'm sorry I didn't tell you why we were in Redcliffe," Ash got straight to business. The guilt had been eating at her the entire ride back. The handsome mage chuckled ruefully and shook his head.

"I'd wondered why you, of all people, would keep such a thing from me. You _know_ how I feel about my family," he spoke carefully. He still hadn't looked at her.

"I… do know. I think that's why I didn't tell you," she sighed. She paused, but he didn't respond. "I just… know what it's like to be angry. And to be hurt. And to want… _something_ to be fixed, but to not know how to make the first step. Perhaps not even be capable of it. So, I just decided… I wouldn't let you have to make that choice. I wanted you to be as indignantly angry as you pleased, yet still have the chance to fix something."

The mage finally turned to Ash. His expression held a bittersweet sadness, and some measure of appreciation.

"You know, when you put it that way, that's a regression I can forgive. Despite the hell that could have turned out to be, I like your reasoning."

Ash exhaled in relief.

"I'm glad. It seemed a risk, not knowing what had really passed between you two," she stepped closer to look out the window with him. "So what… did happen, exactly?"

"I wouldn't get married, keep everything unsavory locked away. Selfish, I suppose, not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside."

She laughed despite herself.

"Sorry. You're so good at coloring even the unpleasant."

"A gift," he shrugged. He looked back out the window over Skyhold's battlements. "My father… I found out he was planning to use blood magic. He wanted to… change me. Make me acceptable."

She felt her stomach sink. Ash had held some notion that Dorian and his father had once held a close rapport. No… she _knew_ it to be true. And yet, his father could have considered something so horrible? She wanted to hug Dorian.

"I found out. I left," he said with a firm, unpleasantly hollow tone.

"I hate to think that could have worked. That he would even really do that," Ash offered. Dorian shrugged.

"As do I. It could have destroyed me. And if it had worked… I'm not sure I'd even like that Dorian," he sighed. He turned back to Ash. She could see the redness of his eyes. "It crushed me to think he found that _absurd_ risk preferable to scandal."

"Maker. I'm sorry I didn't just punch him in the face and leave."

Another day, Dorian might have laughed. Today, his moustache twitched in a weak smile and he shook his head.

"I'm glad for what you did do. It's not… what I expected. But it was something."

"That's what I was going for. Something," she smiled. He chuckled, then looked to the side, contemplating a question.

"Maker knows what you must think of me now, after that whole display."

Her eyebrows shot up.

"What are you on about? I think what I already thought, and then some," she scoffed. "When I met you, you were a lone Tevinter who had abandoned his home, everything he knew, to walk a path where he encountered mistrustful people unpleasant toward him on a regular basis. And now I learn what odds were stacked against you, yet you still stood up for your own path." Ash stepped close and squeezed his shoulder with affection. "And a part of me wishes all that damned flirting wasn't just you leading me on."

He guffawed so hard he coughed.

"Yes, ah… Well, I hope you can understand. When someone like you flirts with me, it's hard to resist," he began sheepishly. "Perhaps, in another life…"

"Don't worry about it, Dorian," she waved him off. His brow furrowed.

"Would you like me to stop?"

"Don't you dare."

He barked in laughter.

"Yes, well, at this point I'd be poking a bear, wouldn't I?"

"What? I just told you I'd…"

"I'm not talking about you," he said pointedly. Her cheeks colored. "And since we've spent quite enough time on me, care to tell me how you and your burly Warden have been getting on?"

" _My_ burly… um, we're not really… anything," she shrugged. He narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "I thought maybe we were something. He took me to the Sword Coast to tell me why he's been hesitant, and then he just… couldn't. So, nothing to report."

"Other than his continued baffling lack of commitment. I'm fairly certain even Commander Cullen has picked up on his interest in you," Dorian sounded unimpressed. Ash tugged at her wrist, reminding the mage of an uncertain child.

"I know. I've talked to him. I feel like whatever this is, he thinks it could mean… I don't know. To him, whatever damned secret he has changes everything. I may never know. So, I'm backing off."

Dorian sighed and shook his head.

"I really should have a talk with that foolish man."

"I don't know that that would turn out in any of our favors," she laughed, "but I appreciate the sentiment. No. There are just more important things I should be focusing on, so I'll just try to do that."

"Well, I, for one, think you are a singular person who deserves much more than ambivalent suitors," he gave her a gentle smirk. "And if nothing else, you should know, you have my support and my aid for this journey. I am with you in this to the end." Ash felt a thrill of affection for the handsome mage.

"That's no small consolation."

Ash talked with Dorian awhile longer, about his hopes for the future with his father. About his hopes to perhaps return home one day. She dodged further probing about her own situation. She was tired of thinking about it. She'd been partly grateful to be able to focus on a friend after the botched excursion with Blackwall.

 _It wasn't a complete failure,_ she thought to herself as she climbed the stairs down to the main hall. She still remembered how effortlessly Blackwall had pulled her out of the river.

She shivered again at the memory. Their kiss had lastly barely a few seconds before they'd been rudely interrupted by the river. It was enough to confirm what she already suspected. Whatever held Blackwall back was something real and unyielding. Maybe it was best she didn't know.

She waved goodnight to the people still lingering in the great hall. Even Varric wasn't at his normal spot. It was later than she realized. She wondered briefly if Blackwall knew she was back.

Ash walked through the quiet, dark corridor to her private chambers. She still wasn't used to living indoors. It didn't matter that these quarters were excessive even by human standards.

She sighed as she unclasped her outer layer of light armor and let it fall noisily to the floor. She lifted one leg agilely into the air and pulled off her boot, tossed it over her shoulder, then reached for the other. She hopped on one foot as she pulled it off when a glint on her bed caught her eye.

"What?" she hopped to the side to face the bed.

A suit of armor was laid across it. Goose pimples rose across her neck. She whirled, eyes scanning the dimly lit room.

The lounging form of Blackwall came into view, just beyond the doorway leading to the balcony outside. He leaned against the railing. His eyes were trained on her. The dim evening light hid much of his features, but she could clearly see the outline of his broad shoulders, thick muscular limbs, and the smooth slick of his hair. A thrill shot through her.

"How did you get in here?" she laughed uncertainly. _And how long has he been waiting for me?_

"Wasn't difficult," he looked down at his hands, slowly stretching out his fingers. "Almost concerning, really."

"Oh, I'm sure Leliana has her ear to the ground nearby," she turned and motioned to the suit of armor. "And what do we have here?"

"I promised you new armor," he said slyly. She narrowed her eyes, swept her gaze over him, and back to the gift. She approached the bed and trailed her fingers along the steel-blue metal, the soft leather straps, and the intricate designs etched throughout. The metal looked familiar. She laughed.

"This is… that ore you were picking up around Crestville. I remember Dagna saying it was some of the strongest she'd seen," she raised an eyebrow at him. "Clever, you."

"And now I can rest easier when you charge ahead in battle," he started walking slowly toward her. She felt the hairs stand across her scalp. "And I… wanted to thank you for accompanying me to that ruin." As he stepped closer, firelight illuminated the conflicted expression on his handsome face. Her gaze was steadfast on his. Her heart pounded harder with each step he took. "I know it didn't go as you hoped. But I wanted to… I just had to see you."

He stopped in front of her, hesitating. Ash tilted her head back a fraction to stare boldly up at him. He was so close she felt the heat emanate from his body. His hands were extended very slightly, flexing as if he fought the urge to reach out to her. _Consequences be damned_ , she thought, and took a single step that pressed her lightly against his broad chest. The small movement broke his resolve. He exhaled shakily and his strong hands gripped her upper arms.

She leaned forward to meet him as he bent to her. His mouth closed firm and warm on hers. His arms slipped tighter around her as he pulled her to him in a strong embrace. Ash closed her eyes and coiled her fingers into the fabric of his tunic.

Almost as soon as it began, she felt his hands flatten on her shoulders and gently push her back. He dropped his gaze and shook his head.

"No. This is wrong," his voice was strained. "I shouldn't even be here."

Ash fought the urge to immediately pull him back. She hadn't expected him to be so bold. Now she was certain he wanted this, but… she had to tread carefully.

"Why shouldn't you?" she asked gently. She trailed a hand up his arm and cupped it against his neck. He shifted his head toward it instinctively.

"I want to give in. Maker knows how much I wish I could," the conflict was etched into his worried brow. "I… I can't be what you deserve."

Her fingers tightened as she pulled herself closer to him.

"You're wrong," she whispered firmly. "You're a good man, Blackwall."

Ash was watching him closely, yet she still almost missed the cloud that passed over his face. For a brief moment, he looked as if she had stung him.

"Am I?" there was the faintest note of bitterness. She didn't understand. Did he not see all he had done for the villagers against the darkspawn, against bandits… all he continued to do? "There's nothing I can offer you, Ash. You'd have no life with me."

"I rather like having you in it now," she cut him off. He almost smiled. His entire body was taut as a bowstring.

"Ash, I… I need you to end this," he managed in a strangled voice. She held her breath. "Because I can't."

She almost laughed. A warm flood of amusement washed over her.

"Have you been paying any attention at all?" she teased. Ash moved both hands to his face and cupped it between them. She pressed her body purposefully against his. "I've no intention of ending this."

His torso rumbled in a sound of relieved defeat. He shook his head in half wonder as he bent toward her.

"We'll regret this, my lady," he barely had time to murmur before his lips met hers again. The kiss was different this time. It was slow, firm, full of longing, like the first breath of air after a deep dive. She encircled his neck with her arms and fell into the taste of him.

"We'll see," she murmured against him. His response was barely intelligible, a growl of pleasure as he kissed along her mouth and down her neck. She gasped when she felt his teeth bite lightly, just below her ear. The sound emboldened him and he lifted her up. She laughed as he carried her easily till they pressed against the banister that led to the main entrance.

Ash ran her fingers through his thick hair and pulled his head back. She bent to his neck and bit lightly in return. He grunted with approval. His hands felt down her back and to her hips. He squeezed hungrily and she responded, pressing suggestively against him. She bit her lip as she felt how much he desired her.

"You have no idea how confounding you are," he rumbled. Ash laughed lightly against his skin. Her fingers moved deftly down his chest and over the clasps of his tunic.

"Enlighten me."

Her hands moved under the opened flap of his tunic and across his abdomen. His skin was hot and hard, his muscles like stone.

Blackwall jolted like she had pinched him. His hands flew to her wrists and he pulled her hands back out.

"What is it?" she closed the distance between them without hesitation. She brought the hand holding hers to her mouth and kissed his wrist. Her tongue ran lightly over the sensitive skin and up over his thumb. His breath hissed through his teeth.

"I… ah…" he faltered. He watched as she took his finger into her mouth and tickled it with her tongue. She raised an eyebrow. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply to collect himself. "I find it… difficult to concentrate when you do that."

"Good," she ran her lips slowly down his finger. He growled and moved his other hand back down the curve of her waist. She slipped her other hand back into his tunic. The touch of her fingers on his bare skin jolted him again.

"Ash!" he gently pulled her hand back out. "I… I don't want us to move too quickly. I admit. I want this. But… can we at least… I want to focus on finding out what's happening with the Wardens. After that…"

She clenched the banister behind her for support and watched him step back from her. His face was flushed with desire. His hair and beard were disheveled and his tunic was partway open. Ash bit her lip. His eyes immediately dropped to her mouth and she watched his chest rise and fall in measured breaths.

"Are you sure?" her voice was husky. He didn't speak for a few seconds.

"No," he admitted. "And that's probably why I should leave."

She chuckled. Her heart still raced in her chest. Her entire body felt on fire.

"If you're going to leave, you had better do it now," Ash reached up and quickly undid her braid. She shook the hair out over her shoulders, reveling in Blackwall's inability to tear his eyes from her. She scratched her fingers across her chest, down her belly, to grasp the hem of her shirt. She pulled it over her head in one smooth motion. His jaw clenched tightly as his gaze moved down her slender, muscled torso, clad only in a leather brassiere.

"What are you doing?" he growled. She smirked mischievously and moved toward him. He stepped back in kind, toward the stairs.

"I'm going to try on my new armor," she purred. Blackwall started down the stairs backward, one hand against the wall to steady himself. He was halfway to the door, staring up at her, when she hooked her fingers on her leggings and tugged them down. The firelight shone soft on her bare skin as she straightened. Blackwall's heart hammered against his chest. Her limbs were sculpted in muscles. Light scars crisscrossed like art across her skin. He could see the crease where her legs met her body. His gaze hovered on the thin fabric covering her. She followed his eyes and smiled. She scratched her fingernails down her belly and hooked the fabric with her thumb.

"Ash…" his voice was strangled. She pulled it down a fraction.

"You're welcome to stay."

"I… soon. I just… had better go," he was starting to babble. Blackwall tore his eyes away and moved quickly to the door. He paused with his hand on the knob. He glanced back. "Goodnight, Ash. You are… more than I deserve."

"Goodnight, Blackwall. If you insist," she smiled down at him. "I'll see you soon enough."

He grunted one final time, as if bolstering himself to take action, then pulled the door open and quickly left. Ash stared at the closed door a few moments longer. She inhaled deeply and moved to collapse next to the armor on her bed. She had never felt so lighthearted and giddy. Whatever his reservations, whatever this was between them, Ash knew after tonight, there was no going back.


	13. Trouble is Brewing

_**Alright, this is one of those 'many liberties taken' episodes. For one, I'm introducing a character that's completely about Ash (and maaaaybe a new romance with another DAI character). I don't intend for it to distract greatly from the main story, but I do like adding meat to the Inquisitor (and exploring romances of other characters I really enjoy). For another, there is conflict brewing between Blackwall and Ash. Theirs is not a perfect romance. So hopefully you guys enjoy the more nuanced take of a very stressful time to be having a relationship!**_

The Inquisitor left early the next morning with Blackwall, Varric, and Dorian to investigate the tower in the Western Approach. They'd determined the plan was to figure out exactly what the Wardens were doing there, try to convince them of Corypheus's hand in recent events, and return with as many new allies as they could manage. Even with haste, they may not yet return for days. Cassandra hid her concern well, as always, and watched the group's departure alongside Solas.

She cast the quiet elf a sidelong glance. He had been more difficult to read lately. She suspected it had everything to do with how close the Inquisitor had grown with the Warden. She wondered if she could cheer him somehow. After all, he'd proven himself several times over, and he was a close confidante of Ashiril. Cassandra realized she had misjudged him.

"I am surprised the Inquisitor could bear to part with you for this journey," she broke the silence in as light a tone as the gruff warrior ever managed. Solas turned his head slightly toward her and raised an eyebrow. "No doubt she assumes our resident Tevinter will provide invaluable advice for this task. Still, it is not often I see her leave you behind."

"An unusual observation," he said coolly.

"I only mean to say, I have noticed she holds you in high regard," Cassandra straightened her back. "And I have realized, perhaps she is right to do so. I did not see that when we first met. I have been thinking that I should tell you, I was wrong to do so."

He was taken aback.

"Thank you," he finally replied.

She inclined her head, then turned to head back to her duties. Solas watched her a moment. He cast one final look to the horizon and to where the Inquisitor's group had disappeared into the mountains.

Two days later, Cassandra was overseeing training exercises when Leliana approached her. She held a slip of paper in her hand and a dour expression on her face. The warrior stepped away from the sparring soldiers to intercept the spymaster.

"What is it?" she asked firmly.

"I've just received word that a contingent is approaching Skyhold," she indicated the paper.

"Contingent? Of who?"

Leliana smiled ruefully.

"The Dalish."

Cassandra's eyes widened.

"The… which clan? What does this mean?"

Before Leliana could answer, a shout from the lookout above drew their attention. The warrior and spymaster exchanged knowing looks, then moved to the entrance to Skyhold.

From across the wide stone bridge, they watched the approach of a small group on horseback. As they drew close, Cassandra could see the collection of elves in traditional Dalish garb. Judging by the armor and weapons, several warriors and archers flanked the leader and made up the rear. She blinked uncertainly. Was this a hostile group?

Her eyes narrowed on the man at the lead. He was atop a tawny horse with a white mane and tail. He wore the long, light green robes of a mage. The top of a white staff rose from where it was strapped to his back. His hair was held in a loose braid that tumbled well past his shoulders and shone like pale fire in the sun. As he drew close, his bright golden eyes met and held Cassandra's stern gaze.

His features were faintly familiar. His jaw was strong and straight, straight like the slope of his nose. His thick dark eyebrows were drawn in a serious line over his round, piercing eyes. The dusky line of his mouth was drawn in a tight, slightly disapproving frown.

"Hold," Cassandra barked when his group was within fifteen yards. "Declare yourself."

The lead elf dismounted and motioned for the others to do the same. He was unusually tall for an elf.

"Please excuse this unexpected visit. We do not intend you any harm," he spoke in a deep, clear voice. Cassandra noted the oddly musical ring to it. She briefly wondered if he practiced that tone in front of a mirror. Was there nothing about this newcomer that wasn't imposing? "But I did not think my sister would have approved, had I announced my intentions."

The Seeker's eyes narrowed. She looked sideways at Leliana and back to the elf.

"Your sister?"

"I am Theolan of the clan Lavellan," he continued. "And, yes. Your Inquisitor Ashiril is my sister. Would you be so kind as to let her know her brother demands a word with her? Several words."

* * *

Ashiril looked up from the sandy horizon of the Western Approach and into the sky, over her shoulder, around at her companions. Her forehead wrinkled in confused suspicion. Varric shot her a wary glance.

"What is it? You hear something?"

"Um… No," she shivered and shook out her shoulders. "Nothing. Just had a chill."

"How are we all feeling? Good? Because I'm fairly certain that ominous looking tower is our destination," Dorian spoke up. Ash looked back over the horizon at the stones rising up from the dunes.

"Excellent. I'm looking forward to putting another stake in Corypheus's coffin," she scowled.

"You and me both," Blackwall confirmed. She glanced sideways at him, smiled, and winked. Varric noticed the affectionate exchange for not the first time that day. His eyes rolled to Dorian. The mage shrugged at the dwarf.

Strange sounds drifted from the tower as they approached. Sounds like angry wind and crackling electricity. Ash scowled and unlatched her axe. The wind picked up as they approached the first tall doorway, stinging their skin with unyielding sand.

Stroud and Hawke stood waiting for them in the protective shade of the tall stone columns.

"Not a moment too soon," Hawke drawled.

"Inquisitor!" Stroud's voice was urgent. "I fear they've already started the ritual."

"It has to be blood magic," the Champion added. "You can smell it… or see the corpses."

"Cheery," Ash frowned.

"You take point," Hawke said, "and I'll guard your backs."

The Inquisitor motioned her companions forward through the massive doorway with her. They moved swiftly across the bleached white stone bridge toward a wide stairway. It led up to some kind of open platform. The platform was ringed with columns that rose into the sky like thick, giant talons. Huge armored statues holding wicked looking halberds stood at the top of the stairs, immortal guardians of whatever foul magic this tower had seen in centuries past.

"Lovely architecture," Dorian remarked dryly as they ascended. "Makes me the smallest bit homesick."

They heard a pleading voice from further back in the structure. Ash could make out the thin voice of a stranger. He was speaking of Warden-Commander Clarel, then recited some part of an oath. A scream followed. The crackling electricity from before erupted ahead. She could see it now, and a demon emerged from a green gash in the air that dissipated as she strode forward with her companions. Several more demons stood nearby, alongside a handful of Grey Wardens.

The thin voice rang out again. She honed in on the owner, a snide looking human with dark hair pulled back in a tight ponytail.

"Inquisitor. What an unexpected pleasure," the man twirled his hands in a mockery of a bow. "Lord Livius Erimond of Vyrantium, at your service."

"I hate this guy already," Varric muttered.

"You are no Warden," Stroud snarled.

"But _you_ are," Livius sneered back. He looked at the group with clear distaste. "The one Clarel let slip. And you found the Inquisitor and came to stop me." His pointed moustache tipped up at one end in a bemused smirk. "Shall we see how that goes?"

"It looks like you've already done some of my work for me," Ash snapped. Her eyes roved quickly over the ample blood stains on the stone.

"What, him?" the cocky man snorted. "We simply needed his blood." She clenched her fists and imagined sending one of them into the teeth he was baring at her. "Oh, were you hoping to garner sympathy? Make some of the Wardens feel a bit of remorse?"

She made ready to bark back a retort that, yes, she had faith these Wardens would see him for the liar he was after she was through. But Livius wasn't done.

"Wardens, hands up!" he called out. He raised his hand. The Wardens raised theirs in unison. "Hands down." They mimicked him like puppets.

"Corypheus has taken their minds," Stroud said warily.

"They did this to themselves," Livius announced dismissively. "And why wouldn't they? The Calling had them terrified. And the Venatori were more than prepared to help them. On behalf of my _Master_ , of course."

Ash's vision blurred with rage. The man droned on, smugly recounting how he had tricked Clarel. Manipulated her into thinking they needed to do the unthinkable, and use blood magic to raise a demon army. How noble it would be ultimately, to use those demons to kill the Old Gods and end the blights forever. She tightened her grip on her axe.

"Ah, I was wondering when the demon army would show up," she drawled.

"You... knew about it? Well, then… Yes, here you are," he was taken aback, but recovered quickly. "Sadly, for the Wardens, the binding ritual has the _unexpected_ side effect of making them my Master's slaves," he smirked.

"You bloody bastard," Blackwall growled and took a step forward. Ash checked him quickly. _Uh oh. I'm not going to be able to hold him back very much longer._

"What do you even get out of this?" Ash probed. Who was this man? What sway did Corypheus have beyond tricks and magic?

And of course, Livius wove a predictable tale of how he would reap benefits once the Elder One ruled. Corypheus would get his in the Golden City, and Livius would get his as some kind of God-King. But first, of course, they had to build their demon army.

"So you're telling me, stop you here, and poor Corypheus doesn't get his army?" Ash shouldered her axe and started forward. "Suits me." The mage snorted with disdain.

"Oh, please," he held out a gauntleted hand and magical fire sparked upward from it.

Ash gasped as pain exploded in her palm. She buckled forward and the axe clanged from her grip.

"Ash!" Blackwall leapt toward her and put a hand under her elbow to steady her.

"The Elder One showed me how to deal with your foolishness," Livius continued. "That mark you bear? The Anchor that lets you pass safely through the Veil?" Ash was breathing deeply. She clenched her teeth. In a moment of empowering clarity, she realized she could fight through this pain. "You stole that from my Master. When I bring him your head, his gratitude will be- _AH!_ "

Ash stood and willed the painful energy coursing through her arm back outward. Green light exploded in the air between her and Livius, sending the mage tumbling backward.

"Ha!" she crowed.

"That's my girl," Blackwall chuckled.

The Venatori looked worried now. He hobbled back.

"Kill them!" he demanded shrilly as he broke a hasty retreat. Demons roared. Glassy-eyed Wardens turned with weapons in hand.

"Ah, damnit," Ash blew out a sigh and picked up her axe.

With the help of Stroud and Hawke, they made short work of the small gathering of opponents. When the last Warden fell, it was a hollow victory, knowing there was no other way for them. Hawke bolted after where the Venatori had disappeared, but returned empty handed and annoyed a short while later.

"The coward's gone," she spat, "for now."

"So now we know," Ash shook her head.

"The Warden mages are slaves to Corypheus," Stroud added somberly. And the warriors had been sacrificed in the ritual to raise the demons.

Ash felt sick. The Wardens had chosen to do this. They knowingly performed blood magic to raise demons for Venatori. She knew they had been manipulated into it, but… even desperate, she was hard-pressed to understand how they could have taken such drastic steps. Her eyes flicked to Blackwall. The warrior was staring at the fallen forms around them. A quiet storm raged on his face. She bit back her concerns, and not a moment after, Hawke voiced them herself.

"How could the Wardens do this? Blood magic and human sacrifice?" she spat. Stroud's dark eyebrows bobbed in disapproval.

"They were wrong, Hawke, but they had their reasons," he announced.

"All blood mages do," she was unimpressed. They stared each other down a beat, then Stroud seemed to think better of the exchange and turned his attention to the Inquisitor.

"I believe I know where he's gone. There's an abandoned Warden fortress off that way," he gestured to the horizon. "Adamant."

"That narrows that down, then," Ash nodded. "Always glad to have a target."

"Stroud and I will scout it out," Hawke said. "Once we confirm the Wardens are there, we'll meet you at Skyhold." Ash raised an eyebrow at the solemn Stroud.

"You alright with that?"

He inclined his head in a nod, met stares with the Champion again, then the two turned in unison and started on their way.

"Well, that was… bracing," Varric remarked as the group left the small shade of the ritual tower and back into the unforgiving sand and wind of the expanse.

"That's one thing you can say for the Venatori. They know how to get your blood boiling," Dorian said dryly.

Blackwall remained quiet. Ash left him in his reverie, at least for the journey back. Partly to give him time to process the revelation that the Wardens had played an active role in actual _blood magic_ , and partly to give herself the same.

A few hours later they sat around the campfire, with a half day left till Skyhold. Ash did her best to hash out what plans she could, but she knew they relied first on Hawke and Stroud's return from Adamant.

"Varric, I know you know Hawke well," Ash untied the end of her braid and started working it out with her fingers. "Are you worried about her at all?"

"Checking out Adamant? We've been through far worse," the rogue chuckled. "I know you've heard the stories."

"She does inspire confidence, doesn't she?" the elf ruffled her hair loose.

"You weren't concerned before. Something different about now?" Varric frowned. It was cute when he worried about his friend. "Did you get some new information from Leliana?"

"Nothing like that. It's just… an entire fortress. I'm not certain what we're up against yet."

"Oh, that. Don't worry about them, Eggshells," he assured her with a casual smile. "If there's anyone that can handle themselves, it's Hawke. Believe me. I've seen her single-handedly take down an Arishok, and that was just a quick aside in the midst of saving an entire city."

"I've no doubt they'll be fine," she chuckled. I'm just still not… entirely used to not being at the forefront of these things."

"Ah, the burdens of leadership, and having to send others to do your dirty work," Dorian teased.

"Excuse me," Blackwall stood suddenly and left the circle. He'd said not more than five words since they left the temple. Ash watched the back of him disappear into his tent. When she turned around, both Varric and Dorian were staring at her.

"What?"

"The Hero's probably right," Varric shrugged and stood. "We should all try to get some sleep. Who knows when we'll have a sound night again."

"Agreed entirely," the Tevinter mage concurred. She watched them pack in, slightly bewildered at the sudden shift in the evening. Dorian paused at her side. He frowned down at her, flicked his gaze at Blackwall's tent, then blew an exasperated huff out of his nose.

She blinked a few times at him, sighed and got up. Ash exhaled slowly, nodded to herself, and started toward Blackwall's tent.

She didn't know what exactly to say to him. She wasn't sure anything she was thinking would make him feel better.

"Blackwall?"

A pause. The tent flap pulled back. The Warden stood in a blue doublet, similar to his gambeson. He looked smaller, more human without any padding. Which is to say, still very broad shouldered and muscular, but she could easily make out the lines of his chest and arms now. She was glad it was dark, or else he would surely see the tips of her ears turning red.

She was still the Inquisitor. She still needed to watch out for her team.

"Inquisitor," he sounded pleased, but weary.

"I don't want to disturb you. I just know today has been difficult," she began. He sighed.

"Yes. It has. But we knew it might be," he stepped out and let the tent close behind him. He stretched. "And I imagine it won't be getting any easier."

"Do you need anything?"

"It's good of you to ask," he smiled at her. He stepped closer and bent to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Her hands moved to rest on his forearms. She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"I'm honestly not sure what I could change anyway."

"A great deal, given time, I'm sure. But, no. I'm better than I have been in a long while, Ash," he pulled her into an embrace. "And a part of me feels guilty about it." She closed her eyes and held him in return. They didn't have to talk about anything now.

She finally pulled back and smiled up at him. Her fingers trailed down his cheek and ran through his thick beard.

"Is it alright that I play with your beard?"

"Yes," he laughed. "It's nice. To feel comfortable enough with someone, to… just be."

She ran her fingers through his hair, behind his neck, and stood on tip toes to lift up and press her mouth to his. He crushed her closer. She opened her mouth wider, hesitantly, until he encouraged her in kind. It was so invitingly warm, being pressed close to him, inhaling his scent deeply as the sharp desert wind snapped around them.

They broke apart and Blackwall slid his hand down the side of her head and coiled her long hair in his fingers. She sighed and leaned into his touch.

"I just wish… I don't know. That I could have reasoned with those Wardens, before…" Blackwall sighed. She frowned and pondered her response.

"I doubt there's much else you could have done, if even Stroud could not turn them from their path. He was among their number," she had been thinking on it as well, "and they still declared him a traitor and sought to capture him. Just for his dissent."

Blackwall grunted and shook his head tersely.

"That's what comes of Corypheus's manipulations. Giving good men bad orders."

"Blackwall," Ash sighed. Her hands trailed down his arms and encircled his wrists. "I don't know that it's that simple. They… even good men can make bad decisions."

She didn't need to look in his face to know the cloud passing over it. He stepped back and she let her hands fall away from his wrists.

"You can't think this is their fault," he was disbelieving. "What's happening here is the doing of that evil.. I don't even know what to call him."

"I didn't say it was all their fault…" she began. Ash felt a rising wave of prickly anxiety. She didn't want to have this conversation right now.

"There is no one to blame but Corypheus," he was stern, somewhat shocked.

"We don't know that yet, Blackwall," she couldn't help but to be honest with him. His unfailing adoration of the Grey Wardens was something she admired about Blackwall, but it was not something she could fully share. The skeptic in her was far too strong for unfailing adoration of anything. "Certainly Corypheus is a known foe. But we _do_ know that for whatever reason, the Wardens _chose_ to do blood magic. Or the leaders chose to pressure the others into it. And every man and woman under them chose to fall into line. Save Stroud."

Blackwall clenched his fists and turned away. She wondered if he might keep walking, into his tent to sit in surly silence, but he took a few deep breaths and looked back.

"Are you honestly telling me you think the Grey Wardens could be corrupt? That their leaders may be no better than the worst of the Venatori?" he spat. The lines between his loathing for Tevinter cult and his shock of Ash's argument were getting blurred.

"No! Maker, Blackwall," she shook her head. Her arms crossed defensively over her chest. "I'm saying that… we don't _know_ who among them were truly fooled. And I do not want anyone who knew what they were doing to get a pass."

He calmed as he processed her words. She chewed her lip.

"And… I… I still don't know that even if they meant well, that this was a good choice," she confessed. "Some Wardens are still just… so young. Just like my own soldiers. They look to their leaders for guidance. If I made such a choice, and it proved to be such a terrible mistake…"

"Perhaps we should stop talking about this," he was turned away now so that his expression was in shadows. "Or at least until we can speak of it in more than conjecture."

Ash inhaled to respond, then hesitated. _Alright, that's fair._ Nevermind that she wanted to make up with him immediately rather than stew on this misunderstanding, so close on the heels of them finally expressing feelings for each other.

"You're probably right," she agreed. She saw the outline of him nod once.

"Then… we shall leave it at that for now."

And they did. Ash did her best to ignore the sinking sensation in her stomach. _You're trying to be a good leader, Ash. Your instincts have got you this far. Don't stop now._ It was small consolation next to the sight of Blackwall's slumped form moving toward his tent and back into a silent reverie.


	14. The Visitor

_**In this episode, Theo makes the rounds as any older protective brother might. Cassandra remains unamused, and the Inquisition prepares for a final assault on a huge fortress filled with demons.**_

"How do we know that you're who you say you are?" Leliana asked the visitor coolly. She, the Seeker, and the elven mage claiming to be the Inquisitor's brother sat in a dark room below the main level of Skyhold. The newcomers had been welcomed under guard until they agreed to relinquish their weapons, and then with much warmer arms. Josephine did her best to do damage control in Cassandra's wake, but both the warrior and the spymaster had insisted on an extended interrogation of the one claiming to be Ash's brother. Leliana had once informed them that a brother existed, but suspicions were high these days, so cautions were extra.

"Aside from that I'm told we bear a striking resemblance to each other, I'm sure you received my missive. And who else would I be?" the mage had a smug, self-assured manner that grated on the Seeker. Leliana had taken it all in stride.

"Any number of impersonators sent by our enemies," Cassandra announced firmly. The golden eyes snapped to her. His dusky mouth quirked in an amused smile.

"I see," his gaze swept back to Leliana, "When will she be back?"

Leliana and Cassandra looked at each other.

"No one said she was gone," the Seeker snapped.

"This would be much easier if she were here," he stretched back in the chair and set his feet up on the table. Cassandra scowled, reached out, and pushed his feet off. The elf sat up and slowly lowered his legs, keeping that same self-satisfied smirk on his face. "I'm sure your Inquisitor is well informed of goings-on here, and so she would not hesitate to greet me. Well. She would hesitate. But briefly."

"If you are who you say, then you won't object to being put under house arrest until the Inquisitor wishes to meet with you," the Seeker declared. His laugh was musical.

"I'm not sure Ashiril would agree," he stood and smoothed his robes. Cassandra stood with him. "But I will gladly acquiesce, if it pleases you." He stared at the dour warrior before giving a slight bow, then was led out by Leliana's guards.

"I don't like him," Cassandra announced. Leliana looked sideways at her as she stood and moved toward the door.

"Have you ever liked anyone the first day you met them?"

She snorted in answer.

House arrest lasted all but thirty seconds, or as long as it took the guards to lock the door and Theo to climb out the window and onto the roof. He walked along as casually as if he were in a marketplace. He could see a courtyard below, bustling with people. He'd already seen a decent amount of the small market and training grounds out front. His sister was doing well for herself. He frowned. Or so he hoped.

He leapt agilely down to stairs below and followed them for a time, nodding politely at people he passed. Ashiril had sent him a few letters over the past strange months. He imagined he might recognize some of her companions on sight now. Cassandra was easy enough. Ash had written, 'Me, if I were a very serious, responsible human who liked to stab things.'

He was genuinely interested to meet the dwarf, Varric. Theo was no small fan, proudly so, especially of the Champion's tales. He was an oddity to his clan in that regard, in part thanks to both he and Ashiril's frequent travels away from home.

Theo entered a room with walls that climbed for stories, adorned with intriguing geometric designs. A table at the center was stacked with books and papers.

He leafed through the books on the table. Accounts of the Fade, stories of ancient history, and fresher accounts… a mage's journal?

"And who are you?"

Theolan straightened and turned to the speaker. A slender, bald elf in nondescript clothes stood in one doorway. His eyes showed more curiosity than suspicion.

"I'm sorry, are these your things?" he backed away from the table politely. "I'm a fan of history as well."

The other elf didn't respond immediately. He approached slowly as he looked the other up and down. His light eyes lingered on Theolan's face.

"You're Ashiril's brother," he said suddenly. He sounded both amused and surprised. Theo's eyebrows shot up.

"A bold assumption. I take it you know Ashiril, then?"

"Aren't you supposed to be under house arrest?" he dodged the question.

"Only so long as your people don't believe I'm Ashiril's brother," he clasped his hands behind his back. Solas lowered his eyes to the table and scooped up some journals.

"You are in for a rude awakening if you think my opinions hold much sway here."

Theo's mouth twitched in a secretive smile.

"That is quite the opposite of my impression."

"Impressions have a reputation for being unreliable."

"Even when they come from the Inquisitor herself?" Theo tilted his head to the side. Solas paused his arranging of items on his table. He looked up and searched the other elf's face.

"How do you mean?"

"My sister has been writing me since the beginning of all this," he gestured to the walls around them. "'Sorry you haven't heard from me for awhile, brother,' I recall from her first letter, 'but I've been a prisoner until very recently.' She described everything, everyone in detail. She's thorough that way."

"Do you even know who I am?" he sounded uncertain.

Theo nodded once.

"The one who nursed her back to health. The first she spoke of as a friend. And still the only one whose advice she frequently references in her letters," he said. "You are Solas, are you not? Or you are very much as she described him."

"I am. And that is… unexpected," Solas felt a tightening in his chest. "I would have thought… Well, your sister is quite close with others here, aside from myself."

"How do you mean?" the taller elf did not miss the tenseness in Solas's shoulders. "Cassandra? The dwarven storyteller? No… the one that she enjoys flirting with…"

The bald mage snorted.

"Did she put it that way?"

"I do have him on my list to interrogate. But his being from Tevinter was reason enough."

"Oh. No, not Dorian. I meant... Ah, well," Solas shrugged. Theo's eyes narrowed. "It is no secret. You will find out soon enough."

"If you insist," Theo approached stiffly. He pulled out a chair and sat down in it. "Regardless, you understand that I might have a few questions for you." Solas blinked.

"Oh?" This seemed irregular. Theo gave a terse nod.

"I already know some things. You have no clan. You are a mage of some repute," he began. "But I would know, what do you think of Ashiril? Is my sister growing into the leadership role?" The other elf considered.

"If you are so curious, alright…" Solas looked down at the table and tapped his nails on the hard wood as he thought. "The obvious is her skill in battle. And thank the Fade for that. She's completely reckless." The red-haired elf laughed. "But in these past months of knowing her, I have discovered her to be one of the most thoughtful people I have met." Theo's eyebrows rose.

"I have never heard anyone call her that."

"Well. Perhaps she has changed," Solas sat down on the same side of the table, facing Theolan. "I would also call her one of the most compassionate people I've known. Sometimes too much so."

"Hm," Theo's expression gave away little of his thoughts. Solas paused. He waited for the other to fill the silence, but the newcomer didn't take the bait.

"You do not seem like other Dalish I have met," Solas mused aloud after several minutes.

"No? You make that sound almost like a compliment." The bald mage didn't deny it. Theo chuckled. "I have made it a point to travel and act as something of a liaison to other cultures for many years now. In fact, I was away on one of my trips when my dear sister decided to volunteer to visit the Conclave."

"Ah. She left without your knowing?" he got the distinct impression that the Inquisitor's brother would have had choice words, had he been there.

"She most certainly did."

* * *

Ash craned her neck back and caught a glimpse of Blackwall in the back of the caravan. He was staring off into the distance. Pensive, but not quite as broody as usual. He wasn't exactly avoiding her so much as he was allowing her to avoid him. She still didn't know what to say to him. So, she was opting for time to figure some of it out.

"She ran off with the Qun's relic? She basically incited the entire attack?" Dorian was incredulous at one of Varric's stories.

"It was apparently her plan all along. Left us high and dry. So, Hawke was staring down the biggest Qunari I've ever met," the dwarf recounted with a far-off glint in his eye, "and Aveline and I are doing our best to make sure Fenris doesn't fly into a blind rage if things go south and get all the rest of us killed."

The bridge spanning from the mountains and into Skyhold appeared ahead.

"I can't believe I haven't heard this version," the mage shook his head.

"Well, Isabela didn't want us really spreading it around. Makes her seem soft," Varric shrugged.

"So she _did_ come back."

"At the last minute! For dramatic effect, she told me later," the dwarf threw an arm wide, causing his horse to perk a cautious ear. He patted her mane. "Sorry, girl. Anyway, the rest is as you know it. The Arishok wanted Isabela, Hawke refused, and they dueled. Let me tell you, _that_ was one of the more harrowing experiences of my life."

"Well, if we come across any Ogres, I'll be sure to send Hawke first," Dorian smirked.

"INQUISITOR!"

All eyes turned forward. Cassandra was jogging out to meet the party. Ash clicked her tongue at her horse and trotted to the front of the caravan, dismounted, and met the tense warrior at the gates.

"Is something wrong?" she asked as a stablehand rushed forward to take her steed. The warrior's stormy face was more irked than usual.

"A man, an elven mage, claiming to be your brother," she answered stiffly, "arrived recently with a contingent."

Ash's eyes grew so wide that the whites shone starkly. She quickened her step. The others dismounted behind her and looked at each other with confusion.

"Where is he?"

"While I know you have a brother, I did not trust him at his word," Cassandra drew back her shoulders as she escorted the Inquisitor toward the main stairs. "I placed him under house arrest until you could arrive to confirm his story."

"Ashiril!"

Both warriors' eyes lifted at the bright call from the top of the stairs.

"What?" Cassandra was breathless with annoyance. Ash's stomach felt like it was falling from a great height.

A tall, red-haired elf strode down the steps toward the pair. His face lit up with a smile.

"Theo?" the Inquisitor was incredulous and wary. She took a step back as the mage stopped a foot from her.

"Surprised to see me?" from close up, the smile was markedly more mischievous. Cassandra put her hand on the hilt of her sword.

From an outsider perspective, the whole exchange was fairly sinister. It set Blackwall's hair on edge as he walked up next to the Inquisitor, took in her cautious expression, Cassandra's aggressive stance, and the smugness of the stranger. He scowled.

"Declare yourself," he barked as he stepped partly in front of Ash. The elf's golden eyes snapped to him and moved up and down in quick assessment.

"Protective of you, is he?" he quipped to Ash. She frowned and shook her head.

"He's just doing his job. Hold, Blackwall," she began, moving past the burly Warden.

The tall elf's hand shot out and grabbed her arm. She yelped in surprise as Theo pulled her hard toward him. Blackwall exploded into action and intercepted, breaking the hold on Ash as he put the man's wrist in a vice-like grip. A flash of white burst between Blackwall and the newcomer. The Warden gritted his teeth against a burst of freezing pain in his hand and forearm.

Ash stumbled a few steps and whirled back toward the pair. Her eyes widened. They stood nose to nose, Blackwall half a head shorter than Theo, with the elf pulling his fist to his chest and the human holding tight to his wrist. Blackwall's arm was encased in frost from the elbow down. His teeth chattered against the pain.

"Theo, stop this at once!" she snapped. "Blackwall, stand down!" The elven mage held the angry stare of the burly warrior a moment longer, then let go. The frost flaked away and the Warden stepped back. His hand went to the hilt of his sword. "Blackwall, I said _stop._ "

"This man attacked you," he growled. The elf stranger didn't look away from the angry human as he held out a hand to the side, palm up, toward Ash. She sighed and put her hand in his.

"No. He was just testing you, like an ass," she sighed. She stepped next to the newcomer and squeezed his hand. She looked from Blackwall to the elven mage. "And now that that's gone as badly as it could, let me introduce you. This is my brother, Theolan. Theo, this is the Grey Warden Blackwall."

"It's been memorable," the elf said dryly. The human warrior looked between the two of them in shock.

"I… am sorry. I didn't realize."

"No thanks to you," she chided her brother. Theo shrugged.

"I was curious how he'd react," he eyed the Warden, who was now turning a shade darker. "As I said. Protective."

"Are we quite done here?" Cassandra interjected. They turned to her. "While I see now you were telling the truth, it would be best if we took this inside. I suggest the War Table. We have much to discuss."

"Of course," Ash nodded. She looked back at Varric and Dorian. "Varric, I'll let you know as soon as I hear from Hawke. You two get some rest in the meantime." She turned back to Cassandra. The warrior was glaring at her brother, who was staring back with amusement. "Lead on. I've news for you all."

Cullen, Leliana, Josephine, Cassandra, Ashiril, and Theolan gathered around the War Table a short while later. It took a few minutes for the Inquisitor to introduce her brother and subsequently convince those gathered that he was trustworthy. Beyond that, Theo explained his intentions to bring a force to support the Inquisition. However much Ash disliked the surprise, she was glad to see her brother. They had some catching up to do. But, first things first.

"We confirmed that Corypheus is indeed manipulating the Grey Wardens," Ash explained, "and we've traced them to Adamant."

"The Fortress?" Cullen was incredulous.

"Adamant Fortress has stood against the darkspawn since the time of the Second Blight," Leliana recounted.

"Then it was built before the age of modern siege equipment," the Commander nodded. "That is fortunate. A good trebuchet will do major damage to those ancient walls."

"Which, I have secured a good number from the Lady Seryl of Jader," Josephine added.

"That is the good news," Leliana said ominously.

"Alright," Ash nodded. "That leaves the huge demon army to contend with."

"That is the bad news," the spymaster nodded.

"We can breach the gate," Cullen added, "but if the Wardens already have their demons…"

"I found records of Adamant's construction, and I believe we can win this if we utilize key chokepoints," Leliana laid some maps out on the table. The human Commander leaned over them.

"Very good. If we can cut off reinforcements, we can carve the Inquisitor a path to Warden-Commander Clarel," he traced his finger along the battlement paths.

"So your plan is to lay siege to a legendary fortress filled with demons?" Theo asked. He crossed his arms and looked between the advisors and his sisters.

"No one said it would be easy," Cullen said firmly. "But we'll get that gate open."

"And do not forget," Josephine chimed in, "some Wardens may yet be sympathetic to our cause."

"They didn't seem amenable at the Tevinter tower," Ash recalled. The spymaster nodded.

"The mages are lost to us. But some of the warriors might still be reasoned with," Leliana confirmed.

"Then… we have a plan," Ash leaned forward over the thick wooden slab of the War Table. And maybe they _could_ turn some Wardens to their cause. Maybe if she brought Blackwall, he could reason with them. She felt a warm hand squeeze her shoulder. She looked back and up into the expressionless face of her older brother.

"You realize I'll be coming with you," he said lightly.

"Theo, please don't," she frowned. "I don't want to risk you too."

"Would you not serve as a distraction?" Cassandra interjected. "Being so close to the Inquisitor?"

"I know my sister well," Theo locked eyes with the stubborn warrior. "And she will risk herself to a fault. I have skills that complement her recklessness well. Do I not?"

Ash sighed. Theo was an excellent support and healer mage. The best she had yet to fight next to, and that had even been years ago.

"It's… regrettably true. Alright," she pointed a finger at him, "but I'm putting you under Cassandra's command. You do as she says."

"What? He already doesn't listen to me."

"He will," she glared at Theo. "Won't you?" The elven mage shrugged.

"I have accomplished my task. I'm here to help you. So, yes, I shall do what you deem best," he acquiesced.

"Good," she turned back to the expectant advisors. "Then let's get everything ready. We head out as soon as possible."


	15. Assault on Adamant

Theolan kept his eyes locked on Ashiril's as the others filed out of the War Room. Cullen hesitated at the door, to be promptly directed out by Josephine. As the door swung closed, the tall mage clasped his hands behind his back and stepped in front of Ash.

He stared silently down at her with pursed lips. She fidgeted like she was fifteen years younger.

"Did you think I wouldn't come?" he finally spoke.

"I hoped you wouldn't," she looked down at the ground. He reached out and gently lifted her chin with two outstretched fingers.

"It was clever of you to wait until I left on my caravan to volunteer for the Conclave mission."

She held his stare. She was ready for him to be angry, dismissive, upset… but he was like stone.

"Well, hold on. I didn't know it would end up like this," she gestured to the green gash on her hand. "But there you have it. Your sister is leader of the modern Inquisition and presumed herald of Andraste herself."

"And how has that worked out for you?" he withdrew his hand and raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"The pay is shite. The perks are excellent. The quarters are completely gratuitous. It's rarely boring," she put her hands on her hips as she thought. "And I'm always in need of a good advisor."

"Oh? How serendipitous."

"One who knows how to follow orders," she added sternly. "And not unduly risk himself out of a misguided overprotective impulse."

"Look who's talking," Theo pulled the door open for Ash.

"I mean it," she asserted. "If you're in my Inquisition, you follow my rules." His stony façade broke in a bark of laughter.

"We've entered the bartering phase, I see," he followed her out, strolling casually on long legs down the high-ceilinged hall. "What shall you give me for my unfailing obedience?"

"Aside from your continued welcome in my army?" though Ash knew if push came to shove, she could hardly stop Theo. Just as he could not stop her. She paused and considered. A wide smile spread across her face. "I'll convince Varric to write you into his next book." Her brother looked down sharply, and she knew from the glint in his eyes that she had him. They shook hands.

"You've gotten better at this to have me on your first offer. Or I've gotten worse?" he mused.

"I've gotten better," Ash affirmed.

"I do have one more question, however," his tone was light as he opened the door to the Great Hall for his sister and they emerged in the loud bustle of people. All eyes tried to surreptitiously turn to them. She ignored them and motioned for him to continue. "Tell me more of your companions. Especially the human Blackwall."

She knew he was watching for the blush that spread rapidly across her face.

"Damn it. I thought I was so clever not telling you about him," she sighed.

"Yes, you're very clever. Now, spill."

* * *

The Inquisition rallied forces for the march on Adamant in record time. Or so Dorian boasted, considering no one had any account of previous marches on Adamant. The morning of the siege, Ashiril donned her new armor with Cassandra's help, kissed her axe for luck, and rode out on the frontlines.

She watched their approach with her heart in her throat. Lines of soldiers carrying huge tower shields led the way alongside the battering ram. Sturdy ladders started being precariously set against the tall stone walls of the fortress. Men and demon alike fell from the ramparts as the Inquisition forces started to make their way upward and over.

 _We need to get inside and finish this,_ she gritted her teeth and squeezed the handle of her axe. She watched the battering ram hit again and again against the main gate. A soldier's cry drew her eyes upward to watch his form crash down from a ladder and hard against the ram. Anger swelled inside her.

A splintering crack erupted from the gates as they finally opened inward. Soldiers poured ahead of her and began felling demons and enslaved Wardens. She stepped into the courtyard and surveyed the ensuing battle. A burst of barrier light flashed around her and she glanced over her shoulder. Solas was still holding his staff aloft. Theo stood a few paces from him with his staff in mid-cast, and his expression of mild annoyance was delightful.

"You've got your work cut out for you, brother!" she crowed back at him. The mage opened his mouth to retort, but then his eyes widened, he disappeared in a cloud of frost, and Ash gasped as a chill rushed past her. She followed where her brother had rapidly moved and saw the frozen form of a demon, arrested by Theo's passing through it, poised to slash her across the chest. "Oh, shit!"

She brought her axe down it in a shuddering hit.

"Vigilant as always, I see," Theo quipped.

"Oh, shut it," Ash hoisted her axe and ran past the smug mage.

"You're like children!" Cassandra rebuked. "Focus on the task at hand."

"Happy to oblige!" the elven warrior growled. She spied a Warden mage casting ice runes on the ground and threw out a hook to ensnare her. The mage cried out as she was hurtled off her feet and sprawled in front of Ash. The warrior finished off the unsavory task, trying not to think of what person used to lie behind the Warden's glassy-eyed stare.

Blackwall was cutting a furious swath through demons on one side of the courtyard, with Sera flanking for him a few paces behind. On Ash's other side, Iron Bull and Cole were making short work of a pair of mages.

Ash heard a shout from a Grey Warden above, warning the defenders that the Inquisition forces had made it through. The remaining enemy forces fell back. Cullen strode up behind her. His brow was streaked with sweat and grime from the battle.

"Alright, Inquisitor. You have your way in," he said between breaths. "Best make use of it."

"You've a plan?" she asked as her companions gathered around her for instructions.

"We'll keep the main host of demons occupied for as long as we can," Cullen motioned to the soldiers nearby. Ash frowned.

"I'll be fine. Just keep the men safe."

"We'll do what we have to, Inquisitor," the Commander said firmly. "Warden Stroud will guard your back. Hawke is with our soldiers on the battlements. She's assisting them until you arrive."

As if on cue, a scream of horror rang out above them. They looked up in time to see an Inquisition soldier fall to his doom from the battlements at the grotesque hands of a demon.

"Those men need help up there," Blackwall growled.

"Agreed. Our men on the ladders can't get a foothold," Cullen affirmed.

"Leave it to me," the elven warrior shouldered her axe and jogged toward the stairs leading upward.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Cole pointed to a group of soldiers surrounded by Shades. A massive ogre stood nearby, snapping a whip of electricity.

"Hey, you lanky bastards! You want to eliminate the real threat?!" Ash shouted across the battlefield. Several demons turned toward her, giving the soldiers a few precious moments to regroup. She sprinted forward to engage the demons with Cole and Cassandra at her side. Sera drew the Ogre's attention with her arrows while Iron Bull and Blackwall rushed toward the massive beast, the Bull laughing maniacally. Electricity and ice burst in flashes around them from Theo and Solas.

Ash ran into the midst of the demons and swung her axe in a wide arc. One fell at her feet, cleaved nearly in two. Another shrieked as lightning coursed through it and to the next three nearby. She slammed it in the chest with the butt of her axe, saw it stagger back, then lurch forward as an emboldened Inquisition soldier stabbed it from behind. Ash shouted a battle cry as she whirled and slashed. She glimpsed a demon raising his talons to attack, then saw it careen sideways as Cassandra slammed into it with her shield.

"Nice!" Ash crowed.

"The Iron Bull!" Cole's strained voice called out. The elf spun and saw the Qunari on the ground, being clumsily pulled back from battle by the spirit. Blackwall stood alone against the ogre now. He was being driven back by blow after blow, though Ash could see the ogre bled from many wounds.

She sprinted toward the pair. The wind whistled in her ears as she picked up speed. She risked a look at Blackwall and met his eyes for a moment. It was all she needed to let him know she was coming.

She swung her axe as she bent her knees to slide under the ogre. Her blade ripped across its tendons and it lost its footing. She spun as she came out the other side to see Blackwall in mid-leap with his sword poised. The force of his landing on the ogre's chest drove the sword deep into its throat. It gurgled angrily and slashed at the human holding tight to his sword hilt. Ash swung her axe once more and sank it into the massive wrist closest to her. She growled and fought against the ogre as it flailed, sparing Blackwall another side to defend against. Ash held tight until her muscles burned, warm blood spurting up and across her arms, until the ogre finally sighed its last and fell still.

Blackwall grunted as he pulled out his sword and slid down the beast's chest toward Ash. She smiled and reached out a hand on instinct. He grabbed it. In one strong pull he drew her against him. She reached behind his neck and moved close for a quick kiss.

"Quite impressive work," she whispered, "as usual."

"You help me make it look easy," he smirked.

They were the first words they'd spoken to each other beyond pleasantries since their disagreement at camp. _Nothing like constantly almost dying to remind you what's important_ , she mused.

"The hell just happened?" Iron Bull grunted nearby as Cassandra helped him to his feet.

"Don't worry," the Seeker said in an unamused tone, "the battle is far from over."

"Hate to say it, but more coming, yeah?" Sera let loose an arrow at oncoming demons.

"Well then," Ash winked at Blackwall, "let's go save some Wardens from themselves."

Solas and Theo brought up the rear. Neither had missed the public exchange between the Inquisitor and the Warden.

"I see what you mean now," Theo said to the other mage.

"We have more important business," Solas retorted firmly.

Ash led the charge to the next rampart. She could see the Champion and Varric up ahead, engaged in battle. She charged in next to Hawke as the human rogue danced away from a lanky demon.

"Glad you could finally join us!" Hawke shouted over the din of screams, clangs, and explosions.

"Well, I couldn't let you have all the fun," she balanced the axe hilt with one hand and gripped the end with the other to jab at a demon and knock it off balance. The rogue spun around behind and plunged her daggers into its back. "For as long as they're just demons, anyway."

"Beggars and choosers in war," Hawke quipped darkly.

They fought their way through a swath of enemies to the cheers of the Inquisition soldiers they reinforced.

"There, Inquisitor," Blackwall pointed toward a familiar green glow emanating from a courtyard past the stairs ahead. Ash nodded and motioned her company forward. She could make out the voice of a speaker now. She grasped the stone wall and propelled around it to rush down the stairs.

A well-armored mage with closely shorn light hair paced on a platform across the courtyard, addressing the gathered Wardens.

"That's Warden-Commander Clarel," Stroud announced as they approached.

"And our friend from Tevinter," Varric snorted. The same snide man they had met in the Western Approach stood next to the Warden-Commander. They were engaged in some kind of argument, until a man stepped forward. Clarel drew a long dagger and reverently held it to the man's throat. Ash's heart quickened.

"NO!" she shouted as the dagger drew a bright burst of blood from the man's throat. He collapsed as his life seeped from him. All eyes turned to the Inquisition forces streaming into the courtyard.

"Stop them!" Livius cried in his nasal voice. "We must complete the ritual!"

"To hell with you, Venatori," Ash snarled. She ran forward and made eye contact with the wary Warden-Commander. "Clarel, you're playing into his hands. The ritual isn't what you think!"

"Isn't it? She is fighting the blight, keeping the world safe from darkspawn," Livius retorted. "And you're standing in our way!"

"Keeping the world safe from blood magic?" Hawke interjected.

"If need be. Hate me for that if you must, but do not hate the Wardens for doing their duty," the Venatori sneered.

"Can we shut him up now, yeah?" Sera notched an arrow.

"We make the sacrifices now one else will," Clarel stepped forward. Her face was lined with the worry and stress of recent days. "The Grey Wardens do what must be done, for a world that will never thank them."

"You make sacrifices, while your Tevinter ally binds the mages to Corypheus!" Stroud shouted. Clarel was taken aback at that.

"Corypheus? But he's dead," she shook her head. Doubt crept into her voice.

"They are just trying to shake your confidence, Clarel," Livius leaned close.

"Don't listen to him! He's obviously a liar, just look at that beard!" Sera quipped.

"What?" Dorian raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged.

"He's squirrely."

Hawke ran to Ash's side.

"Please, I know of blood magic. It is _never_ worth the cost!" she shouted.

Ash's attention was all on Clarel. She saw the shadow of doubt pass over her face. _Come on. See through that snake for what he is._ The Warden-Commander took a deep breath and steadied herself.

"Bring it through," she finally declared. Ash felt her stomach drop. The green gash hovering above the courtyard pulsed with renewed energy as a great demon was ushered forward.

"And that, my friends, is a prime example of the sunk cost fallacy," Iron Bull observed dryly.

"We've no choice. Attack!" the Inquisitor waved forward. Livius rapped his staff against the ground.

"My Master thought you might come here, Inquisitor!" he laughed. "So he sent me this to welcome you!"

Ash's skin rose in goose pimples as a curdling shriek wafted down from the sky above. The sound of great leathery wings beating against the air reached their ears. She looked up in time to see the red coil of fiery breath hurtling toward her from the archdemon's mouth and leapt as hard as she could out of the way. The dragon breath exploded into the courtyard and sent splinters of wood and several bodies flying, Iron Bull among them. He cursed and got to his feet, in time to scatter with the remaining stragglers as another breath blasted down over them. The dragon finally landed on a rampart overlooking the courtyard and let loose a roar that shook the ground beneath them.

Ash started to rise and looked up at Clarel. The Warden-Commander was horrified. She had heard Livius proclaim his master. And now the archdemon itself was before her. She had been duped.

She raised her wand at the unsuspecting Livius and sent him careening to his knees with a blast of lightning.

"Yes!" Ash crowed. Another blast of lightning slammed into the tower below the archdemon, drawing its attention to the Warden-Commander. Livius got to his feet, took one look at the expression on Clarel's face, and ran. She gave chase.

"Well, looks like they're leaving the rest to us," Hawke brandished her daggers as demons from the Fade rip approached.

"Never a dull day," the Inquisitor swung her axe into her hands and turned to the oncoming foes. "Come at me!"

The demons fell on her in droves. She whirled with her axe, cleaving limbs in one blow or knocking them back into the deadly blades of Hawke and Cole. Arrows and magic coursed overhead from her other allies. She could hear Cassandra, Blackwall, and Stroud issuing their own battle cries.

Ash screamed as she brought her axe down in a heavy blow that slammed the demon before her to the ground. She sprinted over the body and toward the stairs Livius and Clarel had disappeared on. Her blood pounded in her ears. She dimly heard the calls of her companions to wait.

 _There's no way I'm letting that bastard escape,_ she gritted her teeth against the burn of her lungs in her chest as she ran. _No way I'm letting Clarel face him alone._

She rounded the corner and found herself at the highest level of the fortress. Two demons emerged from an alcove ahead. She cackled in mad delight as she jerked one to her with her chain, stunning it with a quick blow and then cleaving its head from its shoulders. She met talons to axe as the next rushed onto her, squatted to gather strength, then pushed it backward as she leapt upward. The momentum carried her in a spin that she used to slice her axe into the second demon's side. It shrieked and flailed, its talons scraping loudly against her armor. She kicked it off her blade and over the high wall, not sparing a second glance as she continued running.

She heard the whistle of the dragon breath almost too late.

"Shit!" she lifted her arm to shield her face as she leapt into an alcove for cover. The blast landed near her feet and sent her flying. Shards of stone cut into her face and thumped hard against less armored parts of her body. "Ugh, that'll be a bruise. Bruises." Ash got to her feet and looked into the sky warily. She listened for the dragon. _I'll have to be more careful. It would be a little embarrassing to get crisped by a dragon because I don't know how to dodge._

"Inquisitor!"

Her companions had just made it to the top of the stairs a few dozen yards back.

"Be wary! The dragon is around!" she called back.

"Wait, damnit!" Theo shouted.

Ash shrugged and kept running. She heard him cursing behind her, but she wasn't about to slow. She listened for the dragon now, ducking into corners as it approached in time to watch the hot breaths blast harmlessly against the fortress.

She ran out onto an expanse of a stone bridge that led to nowhere. The Warden-Commander stood ahead. Bursts of fire and ice exploded ineffectively against her barrier as she strode toward Livius.

"You!" her voice trembled with rage. "You've _destroyed_ the Grey Wardens!" She stabbed her staff forward as if to impale him from a distance. A stone projectile erupted from the end and smashed against the Venatori, sending him flying backwards.

He pushed himself weakly to his knees as she stormed to the other side of him.

"You did that to yourself, you stupid bitch," he laughed weakly. Clarel face contorted with fury. "All I did was dangle a little power before your ey-"

His taunt was cut short by an explosion of lightning that sent him tumbling head over heels backward again, toward Ash this time. He slid for yards, finally stopping in a curled ball of pain. He groaned and writhed on the ground as the Warden-Commander approached him.

Blackwall appeared at Ash's side, breathing hard and covered in blood and sweat.

"Damn you, woman," he gasped. She cast him a quick smile, glimpsed a few more companions approaching, and kept moving toward the exchange ahead.

"You could have served a new god," Livius croaked.

"I will _never_ serve the blight!" Clarel growled down at him.

Ash saw the immense shadow fall over the two.

"Clarel, look-" her warning came too late.

The dragon crashed down behind the Warden-Commander. Its massive jaws clamped down over her middle, then it lifted back into the air so quickly that Ash hardly had time to take a breath. It crashed down behind them, above the gateway leading back into the fortress. With one cruel snap of its neck, it flung the body of Clarel back across the bridge. Her bloodied form tumbled roughly across the stones toward Ash and her companions.

Hawke moved to check on her, but Ash grabbed her arm. The dragon was descending toward them.

"This isn't good," Sera's voice lilted with worry. The massive beast loomed closer, stepping over the prone body. Then Ash saw the Warden-Commander move.

"In war, victory…" the faint voice of Clarel murmured as she dragged herself forward. She coughed blood and rolled onto her back. "In peace, vigilance…"

A blinding flash of lightning burst upward from Clarel's trembling outstretched hands and into the dragon above her. It shrieked in surprise and pain. Ash shouted a warning and leapt for cover as the beast thrashed so violently that the bridge started to break apart. It scrambled over the edge, pulling out supports as it fell, spread its wings, and took flight. But the damage was done. The bridge started to crumble.

"Back to the fortress!" Cassandra cried from somewhere ahead of Ash.

The Inquisitor scrambled for purchase as the stones shifted beneath her. It was a terrifying game to guess which might stay beneath her feet as she ran for the fortress. A shout from behind drew her attention, and she glanced back to see Stroud on his knees. She leapt backwards, reached out a hand, and helped pull him forward.

 _Almost there_ , Ash's muscles felt heavy and her lungs were on fire. She could see Blackwall glancing behind, slowing to fall into step with her. She tried to wave him on furiously, but knew it would do no good. The sound of crumbling stones and screeching metal around her was deafening.

Her stomach lurched so hard she gasped as the floor fell out beneath her. _This is it._

The air rushed up around her. Pain pulsed in the hand with the anchor. She wasn't sure why she did it, but she didn't have time to think. Ash stretched her arm, palm facing outward, as the ground rapidly approached. Green light leapt from her mark, crackling across the air in front of her like spiderwebs, and a portal suddenly stretched wide. Half a moment later, she fell through it, and the world disappeared.


	16. Reclaiming What was Lost

**_Thanks for the reviews, as always! I definitely enjoy writing Sera (I enjoy writing many of them). I wish it were easier to fit all the little pieces of characters I love in that I want. Not that I won't keep trying (*cough* Fenris)_**

 ** _In this episode, Theo flips out a little, and Ash and co. awaken in the weird dream sequence that is the Fade. The main plot advances!_**

Theo was experiencing the strangest disconnect he'd had in a long while. He had watched Ash disappear over the edge of the imploding bridge, and yet she could not have. She couldn't be gone. He'd just gotten here, and _now_ she falls to her doom? Because of a clumsy dragon?

White noise buzzed in his ears as he started to rush from the fortress to the remains of the bridge. He could only hear the pounding of his heart. Something pulled on his arm and he was spun back around to fall to his knees. He was caught. He tried to tear his arm away and keep moving. He had to see if he could still save her.

The something on his arm took hold of his shoulder and shook him so hard his teeth clanked together. Some rhythmic sound echoed against the curtain of white noise. He brought his hands up, gathered a ball of electricity, and slammed them down onto the arms holding him. The electric jolt made the grip go slack. He broke free again and scrambled to rise. A weight smashed him back down to the ground, blasting the air from his lungs. He was pulled backward and put into a grip of iron that immobilized his shoulders and neck. The same rhythmic sounds echoed next to his ear. No… Not echoes. Words being repeated.

"Calm, Theolan! Calm down! It's Cassandra, damn you," the Seeker's hold on him was like iron. "Stop fighting!"

He stopped, but was tense in her arms with his legs half pushing against the ground and his fingers coiled into her gauntleted wrists.

"Cassandra…" he was breathing deep and fast from the struggle, "let me go."

"You cannot go to the precipice," she demanded as she helped him to his feet. "It is unstable."

"I have to help my sister," he maintained.

"She's not there," Cole was standing behind the Seeker.

"What? Where is she?" she turned. The moment Cassandra loosened her grip on Theolan, he bolted for the fortress. She cursed and ran after him. They sprinted down the stairs and to the courtyard where battles still raged from demons coming through the open rift left by the Warden ritual. Theo encased himself in ice and burst past a foe to hasten toward his goal, leaving the Seeker further behind. He leapt over chunks of masonry and finally reached the rubble from the collapsed bridge.

He scanned for any sign of Ash, of anyone. He raised his hands and directed magical energy through them. The energy hefted a massive chunk of rock, one after the other, tossing each to the side. He grunted from exertion. A headache sparked and started to pound with each boulder he moved.

Movement to his right drew his eye. Cassandra was pulling at another piece of rubble nearby. She scowled at him. He smiled back.

"I said she's not there," Cole walked up behind them.

"It seems the spirit is correct," the Seeker tossed aside another chunk. She looked at Theo. "There is no one here."

The elf exhaled heavily as he released a boulder from his magic and let it tumble noisily down the pile. He shook his head in confusion.

"But… she has to be somewhere."

"I saw her fall through the green," Cole continued. Theo looked sharply at him.

"Into the… do you mean the Fade rift?" he clenched his fists and looked around. "Where is Solas?"

"He… also fell," the rogue seemed sheepish.

"What?"

"They are all gone," Cassandra straightened and adjusted her sword belt. "The Inquisitor. Solas. Sera. Blackwall. Hawke and Stroud."

Theo ran his hand over his hair, smoothing it back away from his face. The sounds of battle were distant, but constant. He looked to the Seeker, who was watching his internal debate with a wary expression.

"I can't just wait here. What if she is trapped?" the idea made his stomach ache. Cassandra reached out and put a gauntleted hand on his.

"You are new to this, but trust me. The Inquisitor has a way of defying the odds," she was unexpectedly reassuring.

"I am not good at waiting," he retorted. His eyes fell to the scorch marks on her gauntlet. A fuzzy memory floated back of casting an electric charge at whatever was holding him earlier. He looked up sharply into her face. She raised an eyebrow at his sudden shock.

"I hurt you earlier. I am sorry for that," he reached out and grasped the tarnished gauntlet. Cassandra snorted in both amusement and surprise.

"You were not yourself."

"Still," he shook his head. He gave her a small smile. "I usually only hurt with intention."

"Perhaps more than I needed to know," she remarked dryly. She looked back over her shoulder. "We should help them. The demons still come."

"Go, then," Theo turned from the destruction. "I'm going to find Dorian and see what he can figure out about this Fade."

* * *

The pressure changed around Ash once she fell through the portal. The colors around her turned a strange collection of grey-green. She lost her breath and watched helpless as she continued to fall, then suddenly slow, upside down, until she was motionless a foot from the ground.

"What…" she began, reaching out to touch a rock with her finger. As soon as she made contact, all her weight came back to her and she flopped down hard. "Ouch…" She stared up into the strange miscolored sky. Chunks of the earth floated above and to the side of her. She couldn't tell which way was up. Ash sat up quickly and looked around. Unnatural pools of moss green liquid gathered sporadically under gray cliffs and stone outcroppings. She gritted her teeth against the ache in her legs and stood.

"Ash…"

The elf turned and saw Solas climbing to his feet behind her.

"Solas!" she reached out and took his hand. He squeezed her fingers as he looked around himself in awe.

"This is fascinating," he breathed. "Not exactly the area I would have chosen, of course. But to physically walk within the Fade…"

"So that's what this is?" she snorted in disbelief. He glanced sideways at her.

"Do you still not remember? From when you were here before?"

"I… No. I can't," she admitted. She looked around. "Are we the only ones here?"

"I don't know. I don't think so," Solas mused. A rift like the one that used to be above Haven swirled in the distant sky before them.

"We'll just have to start looking," her hand fell from his as she walked forward. He watched her boldly stride forward and a smile tugged at his lips.

They walked for a short while. The world around them was confusing at best. Dark glittery columns of rock rose into the sky into another 'ground,' so that Ash wasn't certain if she should be standing where she was or above her. Likewise, isolated streams of water fell upward… or downward? Veilfire lanterns peppered the landscape, casting their eerie chartreuse glow around them. Alien red plants grew from the edges of the grey-green water, like spindleweed.

"I don't understand the logic of landscape here," Ash said in a perturbed voice. She stopped at a flat stone that jutted vertically. An ornate table set with food and drink stood atop it, part of a forgotten room that looked like it had plunged into the Fade and stayed frozen. The table was set with meats and fish, and on two separate plates, bleach white skulls.

"It's unexpectedly beautiful, is it not?" Solas stopped next to her.

"Beautiful and weird," she agreed dubiously, then shot him a grin. "My favorite kind." He chuckled lightly. They continued a few more paces as the ground sloped down and opened wide to an expanse of small pools and rock outcroppings. Stone stairs rose to a new area in the distance. Ash thought she saw the green light of demons flitting around in the distance.

"How strange that we should end up here together," the elven mage mused.

"Hopefully not alone. I doubt we were the only ones to not escape that falling bridge," she said ruefully.

"If so, I'm sure they are here somewhere," Solas continued. "But if I must be stuck here with someone, there is no one else I would have chosen."

Ash stopped walking. She looked sideways at the mage. He was gazing at her and gave her a small smile when she turned his way, then continued to explore the world around him. She lowered her eyes to the ground and huffed a quiet laugh.

"Do you know, you're probably right. It's the _Fade,_ after all."

Sudden sounds of battle snapped their attention toward the distant stairs. Ash's eyes narrowed.

"Come on!" she started into a sprint with Solas close behind.

Relieved laughter bubbled up her throat at the sight of Sera loosing an arrow as she leapt back from a group of demons and onto the stairs behind her. Stroud, Hawke, and Blackwall were engaged in melee below her. The group had encountered a few floating green demons and felled them just as the pair of elves reached them. Stroud was sheathing his sword when he saw Ash and Solas approach.

"Inquisitor! We thought you must be here somewhere," he greeted her. The Warden whirled around as Stroud spoke. His battle-weary expression melted into relief.

He closed the space between them in a few long strides and grabbed Ash in his arms. She gasped with surprise, then laughed and embraced him in return.

"I saw you fall," he murmured into her hair. "When we didn't find you, I wasn't sure if you had made it."

"I see we're beyond not trying to keep our… whatever it is, us, secret," she quipped.

"Secrets be damned." He lifted her off her feet and kissed her fiercely. Hawke raised an eyebrow and muttered something about privacy. Stroud looked uncertainly from Sera, who was distracted with feverishly staring at the world around her, and Solas, who was leaning against his staff and frowning down at his hands.

The Warden finally set Ash down, but he held possessively to her hands. Her cheeks were flushed. She cleared her throat and tried to sound assertive.

"Well, then, at least we've all found ourselves in one piece."

"One piece in the frigging _Fade_ ," Sera added. Her voice was strained with anxiety.

"Either way, I'm glad you're here," Hawke walked over and reached out to grasp Ash's hand. Blackwall reluctantly released her. "This place isn't as I remember the Fade, though. What about you? Anything you recall?"

"Nothing to speak of," she shook her head. "I haven't been able to remember anything from that day at the Conclave."

"Well, it's already clear we're not safe here," the Champion frowned. "That huge demon was right on the other side of the rift Erimond was using, and there could be others."

"Shitballs, fuck, shit," Sera ranted to herself. "Crap, Fade, shit, arse, demons, crap!" Solas furrowed his brow at her.

"Really?"

"We've been searching for the place where the main hall from our world might be," Stroud told the Inquisitor. "There is still a rift there. We might be able to escape through it."

"Better than staying here," Ash nodded. "Who knows what's lurking around?"

"Yes, please. Let's get the hell out of this hole," Sera agreed.

"Careful, child. Hostile emotions only draw the demons more quickly," Solas chided her. She made a strained sound.

"Why would you say that?!"

"It is only a warning," he shrugged. "I would guess that the demon who controls this area is extremely powerful. Some variety of fear. I suggest we all remain wary of its manipulations and prepare for what is certain to be a fascinating experience."

Sera looked at him like he had vomited on her. Ash hid her smirk from the archer and patted Solas on the back.

"Come on, then. I imagine while we dally here, they're still fighting back at Adamant," Ash adjusted her armor. Blackwall was still looking at her, reveling in her survival. She smiled at him and jerked her head toward the stairs. "Shall we?"

The group traveled through the strange upside-down land, felling demons when they appeared, keeping as quiet as they could otherwise. Oddities continued to pop up, of strange scenes plucked from someone's life, with stories and mysteries that piqued Ash's interest. With each secret she found, she glanced at Solas, and he back at her. It reminded her of every story he had shared with her of his forays into the Fade. But something was sinister about this experience. Ornate columns holding up nothing grew out of stone outcroppings with inhuman faces carved into them. They walked through what seemed like slices of a castle that abruptly ended and began with no rhyme or reason. There was no ceiling to any room, yet no certain sky above them. Sera put it succinctly when she demanded at the horizon to figure out which way was up. Of course, it didn't oblige.

Ash led them up another set of wide stairs. She could see curved fingers of stone curling inward and reaching to the sky, from which a strange light burned, like an orange sun hiding behind dark clouds. Her hand flew to her axe handle as a figure appeared before them. It took the form of an elderly woman clad in the long white, red, and gold robes of the Divine. Ash's eyes widened. The woman stood as if waiting for her, and smiled.

"By the maker, could that be…" Stroud's voice was reverent.

"I greet you, Warden. And you, Champion," the Divine said softly.

"Divine Justinia?" Ash spoke the name without truly believing what she was seeing. The woman continued to smile bemusedly. "Okay, I'm confused now."

"Now?" Sera asked.

"Back at Haven I saw… I _thought_ I saw… How can you be here?" the Inquisitor fumbled.

"She's not," Stroud said firmly, sadly. "I fear we face a spirit… or a demon." The woman who could be the Divine spoke.

"You think my survival impossible, yet you are here alive too," she said in her quiet, clear voice. "In truth, explaining my existence would take time we do not have."

Hawke raised a hand as if she were in a classroom.

"Eh, surely you can understand our concerns and explain what you are?" she pressed. The Divine, or the spirit, clasped her hands in front of her.

"I am here to help you," she said. "You do not remember what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, Inquisitor."

"What of it?" Ash felt sheepish to admit it to the woman. It was creepy that she would know even that much of Ashiril. The spectre of the Divine nodded.

"The memories you have lost were taken by the demon that serves Corypheus. It is the Nightmare you forget upon waking. It feeds off memories of fear and darkness, growing fat upon the terror. The false Calling that terrified the Wardens into making such grave mistakes? Its work."

"Frigging great," Sera cursed under her breath.

"I would gladly avenge the insult this Nightmare dealt my brethren," Stroud's voice shook.

"You will have your chance, brave Warden. I am here to help you. Inquisitor, when you entered the Fade at Haven, this demon took a part of you. Your memories. And you must recover them before you move on."

Ash looked at her companions.

"Well… that's seems reasonable enough. Where do I start?"

The wizened figure inclined her head in a nod and gestured slowly to the area ahead of them. Floating green demons flitted about, each guarding a shimmering orb.

"They guard your memories. And so, you must reclaim them."

"Ah. I do love a target," Ash unhinged her axe. She motioned her companions onward. "Come on, then."

They defeated the guardians easily enough. The Inquisitor was not fully convinced they were true guards so much as demons that happened to be drawn to the orbs like a hapless insect to a light. With each piece, Ash recovered a fragment of memory, until she stood reflecting on the entirety of that fateful day from months before.

She could see not just her own memory, but also the Divine's. She saw Divine Justinia held aloft, arms outstretched in the magical shackles of surrounding Grey Wardens. She watched as the towering form of Corypheus approached with his orb, glowing green with some alien power. The orb Solas had said was of elven origin. Ash watched in the memory as she barged through the door, looking more intimidating than she remembered feeling. She almost laughed. She had been horrified to open that door to what seemed like a cult ritual, replete with a dozen armored cultists and one freakishly terrifying leader.

Divine Justinia didn't hesitate. Ash saw again in the memory as the Divine slapped the glowing green orb from Corypheus' hand. She watched herself race toward the bouncing object, watched the Venatori's grotesque eyes widen in anger and fear, saw her hand make contact with the orb…

The scene burst into white nothingness and Ash jolted out of the memory. She recounted the scene to her companions.

"So, your mark did not come from Andraste," Stroud frowned. "It came from the orb Corypheus used in his ritual."

"He meant to use it to enter the Fade. He meant to become a God himself," the Divine explained. "But you disrupted that plan."

Ash snorted with laughter.

"I _knew_ it. This was all just happenstance," she shook her head. "I'm not the Herald. I never was. Alright, so now I've got that. What next?"

The Divine smiled eerily and motioned to a cavern ahead.

"The lair of the Nightmare awaits. You must make haste, though. For now, it knows you are here."


	17. The Nightmare is a Jerk

What the hell was this Nightmare, Ash asked the Divine. Once it seemed to be a simpler spirit that fed on fears people tucked away in the darkest corners of their mind. But under Corypheus, it had grown monstrous. Its reach was far now, and it sowed terror that begat more terror. It created the Calling. It served only Corypheus. It stole memories of pain and failure that once emboldened wiser people. The Divine believed it had to be stopped.

And either way, the Inquisitor and her companions couldn't leave without defeating it. So, the group battled on through the surreal landscape.

Hawke had been uncharacteristically solemn since the encounter with the Divine.

"Something troubling you?" Ash stepped close. The rogue scowled and blinked up into the overcast sky.

"There were Grey Wardens in that vision. Holding the Divine captive," Hawke said.

"Yes," she affirmed. She had taken note. Yet another strike against the ancient order that she didn't want to think about. "Perhaps they were controlled, like others we have seen."

"Do you really believe that?" her sharp green eyes swiveled to Ash. A second passed between them. The elf slowly gave a single shake of her head.

The group reached a narrow path with high walls. Skulls decorated the ground around them. The path started to widen into a circular area, and as they stepped into it, a deep, gritty voice echoed so loud and sudden that Ash jumped. Sera cursed and looked around.

"Perhaps I should be afraid," it boomed. The voice was thick with sarcasm. "Facing the most powerful members of the Inquisition." A throaty laugh lilted all around them.

"That's disconcerting," Blackwall frowned.

"Where is it? Where's that voice coming from?" Sera was in a constant state of near panic.

"It's just the Nightmare trying to get under our skin. Don't let it." Ash had some experience with demons thanks to her brother. This thing would need more than good acoustics to scare her.

"Sera, Sera, Sera," it thundered.

"Fuck. What?!" the elf notched an arrow and held it low and ready.

"If you shoot an arrow at me, I'll know where you are."

"Out of my head, bitch-balls!" she spat.

"It probably already knows where we are," Ash said dismissively.

"How's that help?" Sera cried.

"She means it's just trying to unsettle us," Blackwall said. "But we've defeated everything this place has thrown at us. It's all bark."

As if on cue, spiders erupted from around nooks and corners of the steep rock walls around them. Sera gave a strangled cry and arrows started flying faster than Ash had ever seen her shoot them. She heard Solas curse in elven behind her, in a voice shaky with horrified surprise. They made short work of the spiders.

"Smaller fears, I would guess, scavenging whatever the Nightmare leaves behind," Ash reasoned as she wiped gore from her axe.

"And they take the form of spiders, something so many fear," Hawke added.

"Spiders?!" Sera was incredulous. "That's not what I saw. I'd have taken bloody spiders."

"Ah, of course," Solas sighed with some revelation. "The demons look different to each of us. Personalized little terrors."

"Well, isn't that thoughtful of them," Blackwall snorted.

"More reason to remind ourselves most of this is just in our heads," Ash pointed out. "Let's keep on."

The voice boomed again as they started out.

"Did you think you mattered, Hawke? Did you think anything you ever did mattered?" The human rogue flipped her blades restlessly in her hands. "You couldn't even save your city. How could you expect to strike down a god? Fenris is going to die, just like your family, and everyone you ever cared about."

"Well, that's going to grow tiresome quickly," she muttered under her breath.

A veilfire torch shone on a smattering of cobblestones ahead. The path widened into a side ledge overlooking more of the surreal landscape. Ash spotted a large outcropping of red lyrium on the path ahead, and more memory orbs in the field of rock and bones below.

The Divine stood at the start of the path leading down. She held out potions to them. Ash warily took one.

"The Nightmare is closer now. It knows you seek escape," she warned.

"Thank you," Solas said as he took a potion from her. There were fewer demons on the field below, and Sera took almost all of them down herself before the melee fighters even reached them.

"Damn. Well, now I know what motivates you, Sera," Ash called back to her as she collected more fragments of her memory.

"If you ever summon demons on me, I'll put scorpions in your bed. Fair warning."

Ash bit her lip as she turned to the last memory. _This is it, the moment of truth. Or something like it._ She picked up the orb.

She cried out and fell to her knees as the pale green light engulfed her vision. Her head pounded. She clasped her face in her hands as the memory of Haven came back.

She had been in the Fade, running from a horde of huge spiders… or terrors… something she knew would devour her. There had been a near vertical cliff, a topsy-turvy set of crumbling stairs. She was scrambling up there, desperate to reach the portal above her, and…

The Divine. It had been Divine Justinia at the top, waiting for her. Not Andraste.

She breached the top and they were on the cliff face together, running for the portal. Justinia had cried out, and Ash had whirled back to grab her hand. But the creatures had the Divine. Despite her strength, Ash could feel them pulling the woman from her grasp. Visions of Thalanil rushed back to her. Visions of darkspawn swarming them. She couldn't leave her.

Divine Justinia had looked into Ash's concerned face. The creatures were rushing up behind, moments from capturing them both. Her face darkened with resolve. Ash felt the woman's fingers loosen.

"Stop, you'll…" she started to shout.

"Go."

The Divine let go, and Ash couldn't keep hold. She watched her slip away into the darkness. Then the monsters were upon her, and she had no choice. She turned and ran back through the portal.

She blinked and came to with Warden Blackwall kneeling by her side. Solas kneeled in front of her, one hand balancing himself on his staff and the other on her shoulder. She stood and turned her eyes to the Divine who had been aiding them.

"It… was you."

Divine Justinia stared back. Sadness reflected in her pale blue eyes.

"It wasn't Andraste at all. The Divine sent me from the Fade. And then you…" Ash paused. "And then _she died._ "

The figure before her lowered her gaze.

"Yes," it affirmed.

"So this creature truly is just a spirit," Stroud said with the faintest hint of disappointment.

"I think we all knew that," Hawke said. The Warden frowned at her. The spirit that was the Divine looked at Hawke.

"I am sorry if I disappoint you," it said sincerely. That took the Champion off guard. She shook her head and tore her gaze away.

Then suddenly, the figure's features started to burn away in a bright yellow light, a light that engulfed the form until only a shimmering humanoid figure remained. It took flight and floated above the group.

"Don't shoot it," Ash demanded when she heard the hiss of an arrow being drawn from Sera's quiver. _Damn, she's jumpy._ "Whatever you are, you've helped us. Even if I'm not exactly sure who… or what you are."

"The only thing that seems certain now is the true Divine perished after all," Hawke stepped next to Ash. She cast Stroud a withering look. "Thanks to the Grey Wardens." He frowned back and shook his head.

"As I said, we do not know if they were under the control of Corypheus," he defended. He took a defiant step toward the Champion. "We can discuss this further after we return to Adamant."

"Do you mean before or after we've defeated the army of demons raised by your Wardens?" the rogue shot back and moved till she was face to face with the Warden.

"Are you both seriously going to have this argument right now?" Ash asked with incredulous exasperation. They didn't immediately respond. She snorted and stepped between them. "Let me rephrase that. You are _not_ going to have this argument right now."

They stepped apart reluctantly.

"Ash!" Blackwall drew their attention to encroaching giant spiders.

"The Nightmare has found us!" the spirit's voice wafted down to them as the group drew their weapons.

Stroud drew one creature's attention as Hawke circled around behind it.

"Perhaps you're right," she admitted as she slashed at its razor-sharp legs. "Now is not the time!"

"I will have your back until it is, Champion," Stroud smirked as he thrust his sword down with a crunch into the creature's carapace.

When the battle was done, Ash saw the spirit's floating form in the distance.

"That thing has helped us so far. I say we keep following it," she pointed ahead. Sera mumbled some unhappy sounding words under her breath, but started out with the group. They had gone barely forty yards when the Nightmare's deep voice echoed around them.

"Warden Stroud. How must it feel to devote your whole life to the Wardens, only to watch them fall?"

"Maker, shut it up," Blackwall growled.

"Or worse, to know that you were responsible for their destruction? When the next Blight comes, will they curse your name?"

"With the Maker's blessing, we will end this wretched beast," Stroud shook his head. Ash clapped him on the back and gave him a small smile.

"That's the spirit! You are what every Warden should be." Even if his brethren were truly responsible for what happened to the Divine, Stroud had remained strong. It wasn't right that he was fighting for the reputation of all the Wardens. But he was doing a damned fine job of it, at least.

"And you, Blackwall," the voice reverberated off the stones around them. "There's nothing like a Grey Warden. And you are _nothing_ like a Grey Warden." It cackled at some secret joke. Ash looked over at Blackwall and saw his face turn red. "You pretend you won't hide forever, but you can't help yourself. You ran before, and you will again. You gain nothing from telling her the truth."

"You know nothing of what is right," he growled under his breath.

Solas watched him with a furrowed brow. _Nothing like a Grey Warden_. The elven mage had kept his eye on Blackwall since the day Cole revealed he might somehow be a threat to Ash. Though this Nightmare was taunting them, it was using their worst fears. True fears. What did it mean?

"Dirth ma, Harellan," the Nightmare boomed, shifting attention yet again. Solas swallowed. His ears started to burn as he felt Ash's gaze turn to him. "Ma banal enasalin. Mar Solas ena mar din." He glanced at Ash. Confusion etched in her features.

"Banal nadas," Solas spat back.

"What's it saying? Shit, I'm not sure if I'm glad I don't know or not," Sera would've wrung her hands if she wasn't holding so tightly to her bow.

Solas wondered if Ash would translate. She held his gaze a moment longer, then looked forward again. _Whatever she might think,_ he realized, _she's not going to say anything about it right now_.

"It's just the Nightmare trying to fluster us," Ash said as they climbed yet another flight of stairs. "We just need to get out of here."

"Do you think you can fight me?" the Nightmare retorted. "I am your every fear come to life!"

They started down another narrow path with high walls on either side. The twisted forms of fallen soldiers lay on the ground around them. The spirit that had posed as the Divine glowed ahead.

"You have always been so certain of yourself in battle, Inquisitor," it taunted. "And you yet stand. Surely you will continue to stand, no matter the risks you take, while all others around you fall. Like your sister. Like all those in your clan who fell to the darkspawn you led back to them."

Rage and shame bubbled up inside her. _It's not news, Ash_ , she chided herself. _Don't let it get the better of you._

"I've made peace with what is and isn't my doing, demon," she said with more firmness than she felt.

"Ah, but have others? Has your mother and father?" it chortled with smug triumph. "Has your brother? And what of those who follow and depend on you?"

"You cannot comprehend the inspiration the Inquisitor is to those around her," Blackwall shouted into the void.

"And what does she inspire in you, Blackwall? Would you not give anything to keep her respect? Would you let others _die for it_?" It chuckled with secret amusement.

"Ugh, just stop talking to it," Ash snorted.

"I am the Veiled hand of Corypheus himself!" it boasted. "The demon army you fear? I command it. They are all bound through me!"

She blinked.

"Wait. What?"

The spirit ahead of her laughed.

"Ah, so if we banish you, we banish the demons? Thank you, Every Fear Come to Life," it announced. The ground vibrated with the Nightmare's grunt of annoyance. Blackwall barked a laugh of triumph.

"Yeah, that's what you get for yapping forever," Sera crowed. "Boastful shit."

"Excellent. Now we not only have a goal, but a purpose," Stroud declared.

"Holy balls," the elven archer breathed as they descended stairs into a strange marsh land that ended in a somber beach to their right and more cliffs to their left. The horizon to their right was a malformation of mountains stretching down from the sky toward the grey-green sea below. "I hate this place."

"No time to dwell on it!" Ash pulled out her axe as two massive pride demons lumbered toward them.

"Distractions welcome!" Sera shouted. She peppered one demon with arrows as Ash and Blackwall met it head on. Stroud, Solas, and Hawke worked on the other.

The battle ranged across the marsh land, and when an arrow landed a final blow to the demon's eye, Ash looked around to find herself standing before a small graveyard. It was tucked at the end of the beach, surrounded by a dilapidated fence and swimming in white mist.

She walked through the broken gate and looked down at the headstones. Her eyes narrowed. Her companions' names were on each. _What new trick is this?_

 _Cassandra: Helplessness._

 _Vivienne: Irrelevance._

 _Cole: Despair._

Ash felt like she shouldn't be seeing these. It was almost like reading someone's private letters.

 _Iron Bull: Madness._

 _Dorian: Temptation. Huh,_ she thought. _I wouldn't have guessed that one. Rejection, more like._

"Creepy," Sera muttered. "This another ploy? Promise us death at the hands of our worst- oh, shit balls."

 _Sera: The Nothing._

" _You're_ nothing!" she shouted at the empty air.

"Just another trick. We're all still here," Blackwall patted her back comfortingly. His face blanched when he saw his tombstone.

 _Blackwall: Himself._

He looked warily at Ash. Yet another reminder of the conversation they were still to have. She raised an eyebrow at the tombstone and then gave him an unexpected smile.

"I don't know. I rather like yourself."

He laughed uneasily and felt his face grow hot. Her eyes softened as she watched him shift feet uncomfortably. She reached out and touched a reassuring hand to his cheek, then turned to the next tombstone.

 _Varric: Became his parents._

"Well. That's so classic it's almost funny," Hawke mused. "I'll have to tease him about that later."

"Glad to see you're thinking positively," Ash said dryly. She glanced over at Solas as approached the last tombstone. His whole body was tense, his face expressionless. She walked beside him.

 _Solas: Dying Alone._

Ash looked at him. His eyes were rigidly wide, as if it took all his concentration to keep his stoic façade. She leaned closer, close enough that she could reach out surreptitiously and take his hand. His stare snapped to her and he blinked as if he just realized she was there. He exhaled a slow, steady breath he'd been holding. She gave his hand a soft squeeze before letting go.

"Ar'an shia saron," she reassured him. _We travel this together._ His stony expression didn't waver.

"I know it's all very fun to consider our worst fears, but we need to keep going," Hawke's stern voice brought them all out of their reverie. Ash sighed.

"Varric never said you were such a taskmaster," she smirked as she walked out of the graveyard.

"I didn't save a whole city with just my pretty face," the Champion retorted drolly. "Come. This is a dead end, but there were stairs back the way we came."

They were all tired at this point, weary from battles and the Nightmare's taunting. It was a welcome sight when the glowing figure that had been the Divine finally appeared again in the distance, guarding the entrance to a tunnel of knee-deep murky water. Ash looked down at the Anchor as it began to tingle with energy.

 _We must be close_ , she realized.

"You must get through the rift, Inquisitor," the spirit declared as it floated ahead of them, a guide of light in the eerie darkness. "Get through and slam it closed with all your strength. That will banish the army of demons and exile this cursed creature."

"Consider it done," she growled. They sloshed loudly through the water. The world brightened as the tunnel opened up to another set of stairs descending to a wide area. Ash could see a raised platform ahead. An ominous demon mage with a many-legged carapace helmet floated atop it, flanked by minions. And behind it…

"Oh, shit," Ash breathed. She had thought it was a cliff face at first, another stories-high collection of stone rising into the sky. But then she saw the bony, spindly legs jutting from the massive exoskeleton and the ridged head of some giant, corrupted spider. Was that the Nightmare? Or some tremendous demon, a manifestation of all the fear the Nightmare had gathered.

Whatever it was, it stood between the companions and the crackling green rift beyond.

"We're almost there!" Hawke shouted through gritted teeth.

"Are we?" Blackwall joked darkly.

"Shut it! It doesn't need to know we're almost anywhere," Sera snapped, then she gasped as she finally saw what awaited them. "That's not real, is it?!"

"If you would," the Spirit pushed past Ash and toward the two monstrosities ahead, "please tell Leliana, 'I am sorry. I failed you, too.'"

Light crackled and arched from its floating body, growing in intensity as it neared the demon mage and the horrifying creature behind it. The figure exploded like a tiny star and suddenly both it and the huge creature were gone. The demon mage turned toward the small group as they approached.

"You will die in agony," it growled and raised a hand. Green light encircled them like a cage and spiders appeared from the air. Ash twirled her great axe and sneered.

"You first."

"Good, Ash," Solas slammed his staff into the ground and the light of a barrier burst around them. "He feeds on fear. Do not give it to him!"

"I'll give him some arrows, is what!" Sera started letting them fly. The Nightmare cackled as the arrows flashed blue, absorbing harmlessly into its barrier.

Blackwall charged the avatar of the Nightmare as Stroud and Hawke engaged its minions. Ash looked down at her mark. She had used its power on rare occasions before. Now seemed the right time.

She gritted her teeth as energy coursed through her arm like lightning. She gripped her elbow to help control the shuddering of her arm and directed the pulse of light above the Nightmare. It shrieked in surprise and pain as Ash's mark struck it full blast, then arced out to its minions like chain lightning. The minions shrieked, stunned. Stroud and Hawke wasted no time in ending them. Blackwall, Solas, and Sera used the opportunity to focus on the Nightmare and whittled through its barrier quickly.

Ash fell to her knees. Her limbs were shaky, like she had been shocked herself. She quickly pushed herself to standing and looked up in time to see the Nightmare materialize from the air in front of her. Her eyes flew wide and she barely managed to bring up her axe to deflect its attack. From the corner of her eye, she saw Blackwall and Stroud running toward her, only to stop, stunned, as they made contact with a glowing rune trap on the ground.

The Nightmare landed blow after blow against Ash, She deflected and dodged some, and grunted from the impact of others. She saw a blast of ice crash harmlessly against the Nightmare and heard Solas curse.

She heard the spider behind her too late. Sera spotted it and peppered it with arrows, but not before it had tripped Ash and sent her tumbling backward. She used her axe like a pole and slammed it against the ground, whirling on it to keep some balance. But her foe was fast, and was on her before she could regain her footing. Its talons screeched against her armor and seared into her neck as it took hold of her collar. She felt her feet leave the ground as it hoisted her up.

"You cannot stand against me!" it sneered.

"Then we won't stand!"

She dropped her axe and grabbed hold of its forearm. She put a leg on its waist and climbed fast, lifting her other leg up over its head and down over its arm, trapping it between her legs. She pitched forward into a roll. The demon shrieked and fell with her into the tumble. They rolled till Ash sat atop it, holding its arm hostage.

She knew she couldn't hold it in submission for longer than the half second it would take it to blast her with a spell.

It was all the time Hawke needed to plunge her daggers just below the carapace protecting its head.

It gurgled a death rattle as Hawke helped Ash to her feet. Her other companions had shaken free of the stun spell. They turned toward the glowing green portal at the top of a short flight of stairs. Her heart sank as the massive many-legged demon reappeared, blocking the way.

"Go! I'll cover you," Hawke said firmly.

"No!" Stroud shook his head and stepped forward. "You were right. The Grey Wardens caused this, and a Warden must-"

"A Warden must help them rebuild! That's _your_ job!" the Champion turned her fiery gaze back to the monster. "Corypheus is mine." They both turned toward Ash. She blanched. Since when was there was silent agreement that she chose life or death for them?

"We don't have time," Solas whispered at her side.

 _Hawke wants Corypheus…_ _but Corypheus is still out there._ Ash looked between the two humans she had come to call friend in recent days. She didn't want to make this choice. Her eyes drifted to Blackwall. And there yet remains another who might lead the Wardens. One who was as stalwart as Stroud. _He doesn't deserve this._

Her eyes lingered on Stroud. He saw her expression and nodded.

"Stroud…" there had to be some other way.

"Inquisitor," he cut her off, "it has been an honor." She watched him brandish his sword and stride toward the many-legged beast. He slashed at one leg and then another. It shrieked and turned toward him. "For the Wardens!"

Ash ran for the portal with the others, then paused. She looked back. She could still see him fighting the creature. It towered over him, threatening him with its many limbs on all sides. A firm hand grasped her elbow. She looked back to see Blackwall's gently somber expression.

"We have to go, Ash."

She took a deep breath and nodded. She stepped through the portal with him.


	18. Lovers' Reunions

_**It's been a minute, but here's the newest chapter! Our heroes have a brief reprieve from all the fighting to celebrate and fight in new, more fun ways.**_

The world became noise and fire in an instant. The battle was still raging around her. Ash scowled and raised her hand to the sky. The portal cracked close. Green lightning coursed from it and to the demons around it, snuffing them from existence.

The soldiers were bewildered at first. Wardens who had been under Corypheus's control fell to their knees, disoriented by their sudden autonomy.

Theolan and Dorian were a few yards from her, both looking at her with surprise. Theo was holding up a scroll and an amulet, while Dorian was tracing runes into the ground around where the portal had been.

"Did you do that?" Dorian asked the other mage.

"No. Did you?"

Theo's eyes dropped to the bloody scratches on Ash's neck. He moved quickly to her side and touched the red, throbbing wound. She winced.

"I'm alright, brother," she began. He clicked his tongue at her and flattened his palm on her wound. She felt it tingle as it healed. Then he grabbed her other shoulder roughly and pulled her against him.

"I thought you were dead."

"Bother you, did it?" her voice was muffled by his robe.

"Just remember," he leaned back and scowled down at her, "if you die, I will find a way to haunt you in the afterlife."

She pushed him off playfully as a Warden approached her.

The battle was over, but chaos remained in its wake. The Warden mages were free from Corypheus' control and had awoken to a world without a leader. Ash couldn't hide her anger. She stood before the army and informed them of Stroud's sacrifice. The one Warden who stood against Corypheus, who they had condemned, had still given everything to make up for their mistakes.

A part of her wanted to send them away, to banish them as punishment for everything they had done. She might have, but for Stroud and Blackwall. They wanted to save the Wardens. Maybe she still could. And the Inquisition could still use all the help it could get.

So she announced they would remain and aid their cause. She knew the choice didn't sit well with all her companions, and that maybe she would regret it if they fell prey to the Venatori yet again.

 _I owe this chance to Stroud. May they use it well._

"Blackwall." He turned his grateful gaze to Ash. "Will you ride with them toward Weisshaupt, at least long enough to ensure some order is restored?"

"My Lady, I'm not sure I…" he was surprised at the request. He hesitated only a moment, then straightened his back. "Of course. It would be an honor."

She nodded curtly.

"Good. There is none better now than you," she started walking to where Cassandra stood waiting with the sort of expression she wore when she was impatiently waiting to deliver reports. "And when you return… we shall talk."

He stared at her, unreadable, then gave a quick nod. His moustache lifted in a brief smile.

"Until then."

* * *

The Inquisition made its way back to Skyhold on a mostly victorious note. Ash was pensive after the encounter in the Fade. She hadn't expected to lose Stroud. But she should have known. When there is a sacrifice to be made, Wardens never seem to shirk.

She hadn't expected what it would do to her feelings for Blackwall. They were more raw than ever before. She knew she might lose him, might lose anyone at any moment. Still, a part of her had always thought there was some hope for a kind of future.

But he was a Warden. At the start of each battle, he still had the taint in his blood. One day, it would take him. That had not truly hit home until now.

So she had sent him with the Wardens for a few days. She needed to gather her thoughts.

Blackwall returned with a contingent of soldiers a short time after the bulk of the army made it back to Skyhold. Ash had intended to greet him, invite him to her quarters, finally talk, but he beat her to it with a missive inviting her to the tavern. The whole group was gathering there now that they were all together, to celebrate Adamant and prepare for the next step.

Ash was dressed casually as she made her way to the tavern. Her auburn hair was down around her shoulders. She wasn't wearing armor today. She wanted to feel unfettered for this.

She looked around the full tavern. Her companions and Hawke sat near the stairs, listening to the bard and laughing in conversation. Ash raised an eyebrow at the sight of Theo sitting with Dorian, laughing at the dour expression on Cassandra nearby. She'd noticed he seemed to be spending more time around the human warrior and mage.

"Ash," the broad form of Blackwall appeared at the floor above. "Up here."

She couldn't stop the smile at the sight of him. His hair was smoothed back and slightly curled at the ends. His beard looked newly trimmed and combed. They were both dressing up for this meeting.

She climbed quickly to the second floor and took the hand he offered her.

"I have a table back here. Not the most intimate setting, but I know you like a little bit of a crowd," he led her to a table tucked in the corner overlooking the main area. A meal and a glass awaited them each, ringed by candlelight. He held out the chair opposite his.

"I'd meet you anywhere, crowd or no," she smiled as he sat across from her. "It's good to see you."

She enjoyed the faint blush that darkened his face.

"You deserve far better," he reached into the folds of his doublet and pulled something out that gleamed in the candlelight. "I saw this… on the way back to Skyhold. It's just a small thing, but I wanted to give you something. A token of these days."

She turned the gift over in her hand and sighed. A necklace of silver with a delicate halla figurine. She had never been very inclined toward jewelry, but the simple gesture endeared the item to her. Ash lifted it and clasped it behind her neck.

"You're full of surprises tonight," she reached across the table and took his hand.

He looked down at her hand in his.

"I had time to think on the road back," he said.

"As did I," she squeezed his fingers. "Blackwall… Adamant Fortress was difficult. For both of us. I didn't know what to say to you, not after what happened in the Fade."

His brow furrowed.

"Aye, it was hard for us. You did what you had to do, my lady. I understand that."

"I… don't know about that. Stroud didn't deserve that fate," she shook her head. "It was my call. I'm responsible. And I haven't been okay with that."

"What? You can't believe that. Look at me," Blackwall demanded. She sighed and raised her eyes. His face was full of somber affection. "Stroud knew what he was doing. He died saving all of us. You can't feel bad about that. You can't feel bad about the gift he's given us, and the gift he gave the world allowing you to come back to continue saving it."

"I see what you're trying to do," she smirked ruefully. "And I'll let you. Because you're right about one thing. He saved us. So I'll remember that."

Blackwall raised her fingers to his mouth and kissed them gently. A few moments of silence passed between them.

Ash nodded firmly to herself, lifted her glass to Blackwall, and took a drink.

"Alright," she said in a new, bright tone. "We've done it. The Wardens are no longer under Corypheus's influence. The Winter Palace ball awaits us. Do you know what that means?"

Blackwall shifted nervously in his seat.

"It means I… will likely be forced to dance."

She laughed.

"I suppose that is true. And it means you owe me an explanation." Ash held out her glass to Blackwall. She nodded at his own tankard. He took the cue, picked it up and clinked it to hers. "More or less."

He forced a laugh and took a drink.

"I'm not sure where to begin," he drew his hands back into his lap, partly to hide that they were growing increasingly clammy with his nervousness.

"Start at… why you joined the Wardens," Ash offered.

Blackwall considered.

"I… hadn't even intended to join them. I hadn't intended to do anything with myself. I was nothing then," he didn't know what to do but start talking. His nerves vibrated, unsure of where rambling would take him. "I was lost. Another Warden happened to find me. Offered me a way to be more than I was."

He stopped. There were so many details he was skipping. He opened his mouth to cut through it all with one horrible truth, paused, reconsidered.

"Why did you take the offer, if you thought so little of yourself?" she guided him. It felt like cheating, but he clung to the feeling of appeasing her, of continuing to inspire the look in her eyes as she gazed at him across the table.

"I'd made too many mistakes to know how to make up for them," he looked down at the hands folded in front of him. "It felt right. To trade my life for that of a Warden." The words stung in his throat. Trade, indeed.

"And now you truly belong to them," she sighed. He looked up. Her expression was marred with regret.

"I do," he nodded.

"I've learned more of the order. Of your limited time. Of eventually going to the Deep Roads."

She pulled her hand back from him and clenched her fists in her lap.

"You've given up so much. You've tried to give this up as well, whatever this is between us," she stood up. "And Maker help me, all it does is pull me to you."

Blackwall's heart beat faster as she moved around the table slowly. Her eyes were narrowed on him, a calm before the storm.

"All I think of when I think of you, is what an opportunity I have. Here is a man who is devoted to a cause, like no man I've ever known. But I know you want… more. From me. And I want to give it to you."

His tongue couldn't form words as she straddled the bench next to him and slid close to him. Her hands rested on his thighs as she leaned forward till her mouth brushed his cheek.

"Maker help me, I don't want to know what you've done. Not anymore," she reached behind his neck and pulled his face close to hers. "This is real enough. The two of us."

"Ash, you know that's not…"

She stopped him with a kiss. Her arms moved around his neck and she settled against him. He started to lift his hands, hesitated, then pressed her closer to him. She sidled up into his lap and leaned back from their kiss. He cradled her hips in his hands as her hair fell like a curtain down around his face. People were probably looking at them.

"I've been pushing you for answers. But after Adamant… they don't seem important right now," she caressed his cheek and lightly twirled strands of his beard in her fingers. "The only answer that matters is… do you want to be with me, Blackwall?" She could feel the heat emanating from his body beneath her. His muscles were tensed and hard as rock. Her heart thudded faster as she imagined how only a few layers of clothing were all that separated their bodies.

"It's been a long time since I've wanted anything more," his voice was low, but she was close enough to hear over the din of activity around them.

"Then I want you to come with me to the ball. We'll do our duty, and at the end of the day, we'll celebrate together. And we won't talk about the past. Is that alright?"

"Yes," his voice was husky. She bit her lip as his fingers dug into her sides.

A flash of pale fire hair and green robes drew her eye to the stairs. Her breath hissed in an awkward gasp. She shoved back off Blackwall's lap and attempted a casual wave to her brother as he approached. Cassandra smirked beside him.

"I see we are interrupting," the human warrior said dryly. Blackwall coughed and shifted so awkwardly that Ash knew he was dealing with his own body logistics. She chuckled knowingly.

"I know you're not a fan of restraint, little sister, but do remember that you're the leader of the Inquisition. People might talk," Theo's eyes were daggers on Blackwall.

"I'm done with restraint," Ash eyeballed the increasingly crimson human beside her.

"Yes, despite all better judgement," Cassandra was having fun with this.

"Was there something you needed?" the Inquisitor changed the subject and leaned forward across the table with her chin propped on her hand.

"I've been trying to talk sense into your brother," the warrior shot the mage an annoyed glance. He smiled back. "He wants to join us on the excursion to the Winter Palace. I advised him this is a delicate matter. We have only secured a few invitations, and there is little room for negotiation. But… I assume he is not used to being told 'no.'"

"Oh, he's used to it. He's just stubborn."

"So it runs in the family?"

"I see no reason why I can't go," Theo shrugged and sat down across from the pair. His tone was light, but he kept a steady gaze on Blackwall, who seemed very engrossed in prodding his dinner.

"I've explained this. Many times. We have limited invitations," Cassandra had an edge of annoyance that Ash suspected was directed more at the aristocratic world. "And we cannot afford to risk our reception there by demanding more. We are not all nobles."

"Then I'll go as a servant," he took a sip of his sister's drink. "No one will notice me."

"I hardly believe that," she snorted. Theo raised an eyebrow at her and smiled.

"Do you really find me that distracting?"

The human warrior sputtered.

"That doesn't seem unreasonable," Ash interrupted. "And you can keep an eye on him, if you're that concerned about his presence."

"Oh, can I? How generous."

"I promise to be manageable," Theo said innocently.

A loud bang of the tavern door swinging open drew all four of their gazes. They stood and moved to the balcony as raised voices drifted up to them.

Scout Harding was talking rapidly to Varric and Hawke.

"…knocked out one of the guards. I think he's on his way here."

"Shit. I warned you, Hawke," the dwarf shook his head and stood from the table. Hawke had an uncharacteristically nervous expression.

"Maybe it's a misunderstanding. Seems rather fast for him to have tracked me down already," the human rogue took a nervous swig of her drink.

The door slammed open again, cracking against the wall with a force that drew an angry reproof from the barkeep. A slender figure stepped through, backlit by the world outside. A massive sword was strapped to the stranger's back. The hairs rose on Ash's neck. Blackwall and Cassandra stepped to either side of her.

" _HAWKE!_ "

All the remaining color drained from Hawke's face. She looked up, along with every other person in the tavern, toward the owner of the booming growl.

It belonged to a white-haired elf with tanned skin and light eyes, eyes that almost left a fire in their wake as they scanned the room. He had an unusual tattoo visible on his face and hands, white lines that vaguely outlined his skeleton and disappeared under the gauntlets and breastpiece of his armor. The tattoo seemed to pulse brightly when his eyes locked on the Champion.

He growled unintelligibly and strode toward her. The tavern crowd parted like fish before a shark.

Blackwall and Cassandra both advanced toward the stairs with their hands on their swords. This was looking more and more likely to get ugly.

Everyone, Varric included, was backing away from the Champion.

Hawke sprang from her seat, fell into a half-crouch, and held out both hands in front of her.

"Fenris! So unexpected to see you," she laughed nervously. The elf didn't slow. "I had meant to write, it's just that, uh…" she glanced around the room, looking for an exit, and swallowed hard. "I, uh… I'm pregnant!"

The furious elf stopped dead in his tracks. His face went from feral to puppy in seconds.

"You are?" His voice was awed and markedly quieter. Hawke grimaced.

"Well… actually, no. Sorry." Varric guffawed from somewhere behind her. Fenris' face flushed darker. "I just wanted us to both take a moment, so everyone doesn't think you're some mad bandit, and, uh…"

The elf's hands were balled into white-knuckled fists. Hawke stood like a frozen deer, her mouth open mid-sentence, let a beat of silence pass, then spun on her heel and bolted at full speed up the stairs of the tavern. Fenris' eyes flew wide in disbelief.

"Damn it, Hawke!" he growled and burst into furious pursuit.

Blackwall and Cassandra exchanged glances as Hawke ran past. It was clearer this was no stranger, and they hesitated just long enough that Fenris barreled past them.

Ash was already headed out the front of the tavern with Varric, scanning the battlements for the duo to appear.

"So this is the Fenris you mentioned. Is he going to be a problem?" the Inquisitor frowned as a chorus of surprised cries erupted from above. Hawke appeared shortly after from the tower above the tavern, sprinting toward Cullen's office.

"Actually, not with Hawke around," the dwarf shrugged. The elf snorted in disbelief as she watched Hawke burst out the other side of Cullen's office at the top of another flight of stairs.

She leapt down the full flight of stairs, then to the ground, rolling into a tumble and startling a nearby soldier. Groups of people were gathering to watch. The heavy door of Cullen's office flew outward with an angry crash as Fenris barreled forth. Ash watched with growing unease as the pair ran toward the main hall of Skyhold.

"Varric…"

"Yeah, okay. Maybe you should tackle one of them."

Fenris stomped into the main hall, chest heaving in deep breaths. He scanned the alarmed crowd before him, but saw no sign of Hawke.

"I'll find you if I have to _tear this place apart!_ " he roared, causing a gaggle of nearby Orlesians to jump and squeal.

"Please don't," Josephine interjected. "And who are you?"

"She went that way," Sera jerked a thumb toward the door at the back of the hall that led to the Inquisitor's private quarters. Fenris took off without another word.

"Are we under attack?" a noble whispered to another.

"Do you know that man, Sera?" Josephine had a hand to her chest as she watched the elf tear open the door and charge inside.

"No," Sera shrugged. "Looks angry, though."

Fenris saw the door still swinging ajar at the back of the hall and pushed past it into a darkened corridor leading upward. He saw Hawke's form disappear through another door at the top of the stairs.

"Damnit, Hawke! Stop running," he growled and followed into an immense chamber. Tall windows lined the walls opposite him. This was someone's bedchamber, he realized. He ascended the short flight of steps into the room and scowled around him. "Do you know what it was like, to not know where you'd gone? I woke up without you, with no warning. All I found was a note. It felt… like goodbye."

Fenris fought to keep his tone angry. It was better than the alternative.

There was a flash of movement from behind. He growled. Of _course_. He started to turn, then grunted as Hawke tackled him. They fell to the ground with her atop him, struggling to pin his arms over his head. He bucked up hard and knocked her sideways, rolling to gain the upper hand. They struggled for several minutes, until finally locking in a stalemate with Hawke's thighs cinched tightly on his middle and his hands trapping her wrists over her head.

Both breathed heavily as they caught their breath. He glowered down into her flushed face.

"Hey… look," she said between breaths. "You win. I concede."

"Explain it to me," he growled deeply, "Explain why you left with hardly a word."

"Fenris…" she pulled against his hold on her. She wanted to touch his face and show him the tenderness she always felt around the dour elf, but he didn't let go. She sighed. "I didn't want you coming with me. I wanted to help Varric, but I knew if you found out, you'd join. I was done with us risking our lives."

He closed his eyes and inhaled a steadying breath. When he opened them again, his gaze was cold.

"But you weren't done risking yours," he said in a slow, firm tone. "And you decided this for both of us."

"I… know that's unfair," she conceded.

"Do you know," he continued, "that when I did finally find your trail, it lead me to Adamant? I heard stories on the way. Of a demon army that was laying waste to everyone rising against them."

A cold chill rose the hairs across her arms and neck. She had only heard his voice shake like this a few times before. It rattled her to see Fenris this upset.

"There was half a day… I'd finally made it to an inn a short ways from Adamant. I had heard a story that you'd fallen from the castle walls. Then that you had disappeared into the Fade. No one knew if you would ever return. Just pieces of rumors, drifting in with each traveler," he finally released her arms and sat back. He turned his head fiercely so his pale hair fell and obscured his face. "I knew each piece was well after the fact. I knew that whatever happened, I was already too late. You decided that for me." He spat each word like they left a foul taste in his mouth.

She stared up at him. She chewed her lip so hard it almost started to bleed. Fenris began to push himself up. Hawke's hands shot out and grabbed his wrists. She arched up toward him as his angry, misty eyes snapped to hers.

"You're right. I took that from you," she dug her fingernails into his flesh. "And there was a moment when I thought I wouldn't return to you. I knew… in that moment… that you would have taken that decision from me. You would never have listened to the Inquisitor, or let me die, even if it's what needed to happen."

"Oh, it might have been _needed_ , would it?"

"Yes," she snapped. Hawke grabbed Fenris behind the neck. He moved to swat her away, but she sat up fast and pulled him close with her other arm. "You would have been angry. Angrier. You may never forgive me. But that's just too damn bad. Because where you're concerned, Fenris, I don't play fair."

She pressed her mouth to his and kissed him hard. His breath hissed inward in surprise and indignation. He didn't pull away. Her fingers on his neck scraped up through his hair. Her mouth moved down his jawline and below his ear, kissing firmly and hungrily. Hawke had missed the feel of him. She hadn't been apart from him for this long since the mage rebellion began. She closed her eyes as she felt him draw in a shuddering breath. His hands moved slowly across her back as he pressed her closer.

Hawke nuzzled against him when his mouth moved to the crevice between her shoulder and neck. She let out a sound of pent up longing and he growled in response.

"I've missed you," she whispered. She gasped as his fingers tightened painfully in her hair. He pulled her head backward and stared down into her face. His eyes were half-lidded, dark with desire, and still burning with frustration.

"Then you shouldn't leave me behind," his voice was low and husky. She laughed ruefully.

"You know I'm right."

"That I would die for you?" She gasped as he stood and pulled her with him. Her stomach flipped and air rushed past noisily as she was lifted from her feet and thrown backward onto the Inquisitor's plush bed. Fenris' hands were on her before she drew a second breath, roving down her breasts and stomach, to the hem of her tunic. "I would do that and more."

She held her arms high for him so he could pull the fabric over her head. She almost laughed at the startling cool rush of air on her bare skin. The muscular elf yanked his own clothing over his head and bent down over her. She laid gentle hands against his chest. He shivered as the lyrium tattoos brightened at her touch.

"If you think about it, this is really your fault," she pulled him down for a long kiss. His skin was hot against hers. She murmured against his lips as he trailed hungry fingers down her torso. "I've never loved someone like I love you. I can only assume it's your doing."

His temples pulsed as he clenched his jaw.

"Perhaps we should fight for who loves who more," he pressed his cheek to hers as his hands worked to pull down her leggings. She wiggled to aid him. She twirled her warm tongue along his neck.

"We can't seem to agree otherwise," her breath came faster. Hawke squeezed her thighs on his waist. A moan escaped her lips as he pressed his hardness against her, still trapped in his own clothes.

Neither noticed the brief moment Ashiril breached the stairs, took note of the struggle on her bed, and immediately headed back down. She bit her lip to stymy her smile as she emerged from the door to the inquisitive faces of Blackwall, Josephine, Cassandra, and Theo.

"I found them. All is well," she closed the heavy door and motioned toward the main hall.

"Is that so? It did not seem at all well," Cassandra was dubious.

"Oh, I'm quite sure," Ash shooed them again. "Come on. Don't we have plans to make for the ball, or something similar?" She cast a quick look at Josephine. "Would you mind sending a maid in a few hours?"


	19. Winter Palace Shenanigans Part I

**And thus ends a really long hiatus! In this chapter, our heroes have finally made it to the Winter Palace, most of them grudgingly. Except for Solas. He loves this shit. But this chapter isn't really about him, so much as it is about intrigue, exasperated elves, and steamy encounters between a certain Inquisitor and her tall, dark, and reluctant man friend. I'm riding that line right now between staying true to the story and also keeping the good parts going, so we'll see if I can get back in the writing mode smoothly enough. Enjoy!**

The Inquisition's small group met an icy greeting at the entrance to the ball. So, the Inquisitor actually was an elf? Word sizzled across the crowd like a preemptive wake as she strolled forward. At least Duke Gaspard was hospitable enough, for a man with everything to gain from their help.

Every muscle in Ash's body was tense as she walked across the wide marble floor in the palace announcement hall. She clenched her teeth at the sound of her own name in this unfamiliar, echoing chamber. She was the Inquisitor, but damned if she couldn't hear the disbelieving whispers from the nobles around her. Leliana had prepared her well, and she was determined to play the game enough to gain support.

Cassandra had the longest name Ash had ever heard. She looked over at the annoyed warrior. Theo was standing at her side as she started her walk across the floor. Ash watched her brother's lips move, repeating Cassandra's nobility-saturated name to himself. She chuckled. He was very often intrigued by Ash's warrior friend these days.

She started to ponder what that could mean, when Blackwall's name was announced.

"…Constable of the Grey. Bearer of the Silverite Wings of Valor."

Wings of valor? That sounded like a story.

She raised her eyes as the Empress moved into view at the balcony overlooking the ballroom. Ash gave a begrudging nod at the elegant blue dress cascading down her form and the golden collar outlining her head like a personal sun. She toyed with warning the Empress right here and now, bursting through the pleasantries with a grave warning, but bit her tongue. Leliana was right. Subtlety ruled here. Not Ash's strong suit, but there's a first for everything.

Ash politely finished her exchange with the Empress, gave a final bow to the assembly, then moved to the top of the stairs. She caught the eye of her brother, again standing near Cassandra. He was handsome in his form-fitting Inquisition tunic and long rust-colored braid. He smirked knowingly.

"I don't recall the last time I've seen you strike such a balance of annoyed and cautious," Theo said as she approached.

"You know this isn't my style," she glared, "but we're for a purpose. I thought you mentioned something about blending in with the other elves and playing the spy."

"Did I?" he asked innocently.

"No," she raised an eyebrow at him, "but I know it's what you're going to do anyway. Just let Cassandra go with you. She can be nearby if you run into trouble."

Theo and Cassandra looked at each other, him with a satisfied grin, her with a cautious frown.

Leliana joined them then with her newest update. Gaspard blamed Briala. The Empress had a mysterious apostate advisor. And currently all leads pointed to the Guest Wing.

Ash turned away and took a breath to steady herself as she surveyed the room. Time to mingle. Or sneak deeper into the palace. Or fight? She wasn't sure yet.

She nodded once to Theo and Cassandra, then strode back into the limelight. Hardly the sort of limelight she might've expected, being one of many in the dim corridors of the elaborate palace, but she could feel all eyes on her. Ash made small talk, eavesdropped, and did her best to play the part of stoic Inquisitor. She wandered deeper along the ostentatious halls, until finally the crowd started to thin. She breathed in relief at the relative quiet of the newly discovered vestibule, and started down some steps to a wall lined with large statues. A familiar voice drifted up to her.

"I… don't think we've met, my Lord. I'm just a Grey Warden."

"A Grey Warden? Odd… your face is so familiar."

Ash approached to see Blackwall fidgeting uncomfortably under the unsteady gaze of a tipsy nobleman.

"Around the eyes, especially. Perhaps without that beard? More wine. It will come to me."

The man wandered off past Ash. Blackwall's eyes lit up when he saw her. She thought there was a flash of something else… unease?

"You're a sight," he breathed as she stepped closer. She reached out and slowly smoothed the shoulder creases of his tunic.

"Likewise," her eyes flickered up to watch the skin under his dark beard flush. She trailed her fingers up his neck and pulled his face down to hers. She stopped just short of kissing him, letting her soft mouth brush lightly against the sensitive skin of his lips. "So… Silverite Wings of Valor? What did you get that for?"

Blackwall stuttered a moment. He struggled between the desire to close the hairs-width gap between them and obligation to answer her.

"Er… Valor," he compromised with a peck on her cheek, then stepped back. She raised an eyebrow. He cleared his throat. "It was a long time ago, when we didn't stop to boast about past victories when there's an assassin on the loose."

Ash looked him over. He was nervous. Maybe because of the atmosphere, maybe something more. She let it go.

"That man had a fair point," she leaned back on her heels and stroked her chin thoughtfully. A shadow crossed over his face.

"Did he?" he asked tentatively.

"I can't say I haven't wondered," she stepped closer and twirled one finger loosely around strands of his groomed beard, "what you might look like clean-shaven."

His thick eyebrows shot up and he released a quiet guffaw.

"Are you asking me to get rid of the beard?" his tone was playful disbelief.

"Would I dare?" she breathed. Her fingers curled around the back of his thick neck and tugged him slowly downward. "Does the Herald of Andraste even claim such authority over the facial hair of a Grey Warden?"

"I should say not," his lips were warm against her cheek. His voice was soft, complacent, almost trance-like when he stood so close to her. "But Ash Lavellan may hold such sway over _me_."

She tilted sharply back and gazed up at him with wide, mischievous eyes. He read the look's meaning and swallowed hard.

"You're not… going to ask me to...?"

Her eyes twinkled for a beat, savoring his unease, before her laughter broke the silence. She leaned up sudden and firm and pressed along the length of him, arms winding tightly around his chest, and met his mouth with hers. The characteristic stiffness of his shoulders softened. She breathed a small sound of pleasure when his wide hands pressed against her upper and lower back, crushing her closer to him. Ash had only meant to surprise him quickly, then flit back to her duties, but she was rapidly losing herself in the embrace.

The intensity of the kiss was magnified by the heat of his mouth as his lips slipped across hers, pulled back a fraction, moved in again for another exploration. The hairs rose across her scalp as his thick fingers slide across her neck, down her spine, down the curve of her hip. She felt him hesitate, and knew he wanted to pull her body very specifically closer to his, and she almost laughed.

Then the tipsy murmurings of a pair of courtiers drifted down to them and broke through Blackwall's internal struggle. He stepped back quickly, hands moving dutifully to his sides, and watched the masked Orlesians wobble and whisper along the walkway above them. Ash smoothed back her hair and sighed. Ever the gentleman.

When the giggling nobles had disappeared down the corridor, he cleared his throat and returned his attention to Ash. She regarded him with a single raised eyebrow.

"So, back to business," she pursed her lips, "I've been making the rounds, but no luck yet. Rumors and hearsay, is all. Seen anything yourself?"

Blackwall crossed his arms and clenched his jaw thoughtfully. He'd been thinking about this earlier, had meant to point out a thing or two, before Ash's appearance had… distracted him.

"There aren't enough guards," he looked up around the near empty corridors above them. "That seems strange. Either the Empress disguised them, or something's gone wrong."

Ash nodded. She'd thought the area beyond ballroom had seemed sparse.

"Well, I've spent enough time chatting. I'm ready to up the stakes. I saw a way into the secure part of the palace, up the lattice outside the Gardens. Meet me there?"

"Anything you need," he nodded.

"Anything?" she paused.

Her eyes darkened intently on him. Blackwall's stomach felt like he'd ate a bird. Her warm fingers slid between his and squeezed.

"Would you save me a dance?"

He laughed in partial relief. So, not the beard.

"All of them."

They stared at each other. Ash's cheeks crimsoned as she drank in the sight of Blackwall, shoulders and chest strangely vulnerable clad in just a formal jacket. No armor to bulk up his already solid form.

But she could remember the steel in those arms when they were wrapped around her. Ash chuckled, almost embarrassed, and tore her gaze away to go gather the other members of her team. Blackwall watched her until she had disappeared, then finally released a long breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

She walked through the crowd of fancy outfits and masks, nodding to Solas as she eavesdropped and small-talked her way toward the lattice that would lead her away from the crowd. Hopefully toward more answers.

In another part of the palace, Cassandra was scowling over Theo and Cole as the latter worked to unlock the door to the Servants' Quarters.

"I feel like there are eyes in the walls and ceiling," the warrior scowled as she peered around like a wary hawk.

"Not right now," Cole said lightly. The lock clicked. The spirit stepped back as Theo gently prodded the door forward.

"We can find out what's going on back here while my sister works the room. We'll be quick about it," he pulled the white staff from his back and moved into the dim vast area of the Servants' Quarters.

"You're more a fool than I thought if you think the Inquisitor won't be wandering off on her own by now."

"In that case, we should hurry before she has all the fun," Theo retorted.

The three of them found very soon after that there was no need to hurry. Elven bodies littered the room beyond. Cassandra scowled at the blood-spattered servants' quarters and turned a hard stare to Theo.

"Fun?"

"It will be when I find who did this," he said grimly.

The group moved through the quarters and into an expanse of gardens. Vines climbed up white lattice lining their path toward a fountain. Theo's eyes narrowed on another still form at the foot of the garden. Cassandra made a sound somewhere between a snort and a gasp.

"The Chalons family crest. This man is nobility."

"Ash will probably want to have a word with Gaspard," Theo quipped.

They spun at the sound of a scream to see another elven servant cut down by a figure in white, followed by a group of Venatori. The harlequin in white vanished in a puff of smoke, and would've been lost to them if Cole hadn't pointed triumphantly as it retreated into the palace's second level above them.

"Let's be quick!" Cassandra growled as she pulled out her sword to deal with the Venatori.

Minutes later they were giving chase to the mysterious figure. Their efforts led them back into the palace, up stone staircases, and through an abandoned hall to a battle with the harlequin. It evaded all three of them, and would have escaped, but for the timely appearance of a new figure.

An elven woman in green, with auburn hair tied back in a large bun. She felled their foe without breaking a sweat, then turned with a haughty air as if they were meeting for tea and passive aggressive chit chat.

"Here I thought I would find the Inquisitor," Briala drolled as she approached. "Perhaps my reports were correct after all that she is terribly boring."

"If it's any consolation, I'm sure she's breaking rules on the other side of the palace as we speak," Theo leaned casually against his staff.

"I don't believe we've been introduced," she continued. "I'm Ambassador Briala."

"Ambassador, is it? Whose, exactly?"

"Of the elves," she said firmly. Theo's eyebrows shot up and he placed a hand gently on his chest. She tsked. "No matter if the nobility has decided to treat us as if we are not citizens." Briala stepped back and surveyed the carnage from the recent battle. "You've cleaned this place out. It will take a month to get all the Tevinter blood off the marble. I had intended to save or avenge my missing people, but you have beat me to it."

There was no hint of accusation or gratefulness in her tone. She was perfectly neutral, though the glint in her eye and grace of her movements kept Theo on high alert.

"Still, I have my doubts that the noble in the courtyard was your handiwork," she drew a finger across her chin. Cassandra and Theo exchanged glances. Briala giggled. "I wouldn't believe you if you said it was. No. Why do Gaspard's dirty work? But killing an Emissary? Bringing Tevinter assassins into the palace? That is bold, even for him."

"Are you saying you do not trust him?" Cassandra asked.

"I am saying he is desperate."

"Are you sure? That's been far from my impression tonight," Theo remembered clearly how easygoing the Duke had been with Ash. Something wasn't right.

"Don't let his smile fool you. It is all part of the game," she warned.

"People keep talking about this game," he frowned. "I've yet to see any score cards. Or equipment. Or a referee, even. Have you?" He frowned at Cassandra. Her brow crinkled in mild embarrassment. "Seems pretty poorly thought out. I could just say I'm winning right now, and who's to stop me? In fact, yes, I'm quite sure I _am_ winning."

"Theo..."

Brialla tilted her head to the side as she regarded the three. She was unfazed by the mage's pertness. "Perhaps I've misjudged the Inquisitor. Her men have avenged my people, and quietly so. You might be an ally worth having."

"I should think so."

"Ask her if she might be interested in an army of elven spies at her disposal. She should think about it. The night is not over."

Briala smirked knowingly at them one final time, before climbing down the balcony to the gardens below. Cassandra sneered.

"More politics and double dealing. Is there anyone here who is not corrupt?"

"Only yourself and Cole, I'm afraid," Theo sighed.

"And you?" she scowled.

He cast her a sidelong look and tapped a finger on the side of his nose. She scoffed. Theo smiled and motioned for Cassandra to go ahead toward the stairs that led back to the main ballroom.

"Let's get back to my sister with this news. She'll want to know Briala's offer, and about these Venatori."

Their return stalled only a moment to dig through a room near Celene's quarters when Theo maintained they couldn't pass up a chance to root through an Empress's private things. Cassandra grudgingly stood guard while Cole and the elf riffled through chests and drawers, until finally Cole held out a locket to Theo. The elf turned it over in his hands. His eyes widened.

"This is… from Briala. To the empress," he said quietly. "This is important to her."

Cassandra's brow wrinkled cautiously.

"What do you think this means?"

"Celene is either a compulsive collector," Theo shrugged, "or she holds affection for Briala."

"Whatever the reason, I suppose it's worth keeping hold of."

"Agreed. Likely there is some emotional blackmail in this," he nodded. Cassandra turned toward him with a tired scowl.

"You don't have to put it so crudely," she reprimanded.

"I thought of all people, you would appreciate efficient communication," he pocketed the jewelry. "I think we've made good time. With luck, we'll be done in time for a nightcap."

"Does that mean we're winning?" Cole asked as they strode back toward the ballroom.

"In the grand scheme, Cole, I'm not sure any of us are," Theo squeezed the spirit's shoulder gently, "yet."


	20. Winter Palace Shenanigans Part II

Ash ran back toward the lattice with Blackwall and Solas close on her heels. She tucked papers into her satchel, papers that implicated Gaspard, Celene, and Briala in a variety of subterfuge situations. All it had taken was an hour of battles with unexpected foes in a very fancy library. It was a much preferable time to chit chatting with masked strangers. In truth, she was in awe of the palace. Skyhold was intimidating in its own right, but this place was massive, and filled with history. A year ago she would never have believed she would find herself in such a place, much less as anyone of import.

She could hear the bell tolling. If she were late, the people would talk. It seemed a silly thing to care about.

Solas was chuckling beside her as he strapped his wand back onto his back. She cast him a sidelong glance and swung her leg over the banister.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Are you not?"

She snorted, shook her head, and shimmied down the lattice. Ash leapt to the ground, straightened her tunic, and took a steadying breath.

"Well, back into the lion's den I go."

"That's assuming we ever left," Solas quipped. He tilted his head to one side and looked her up and down. "Hold." She stood still as he reached out and tugged the sash of her tunic slightly sideways to cover a very apparent blood splatter, then nodded approvingly.

Ash was getting the hang of this world. But she was ready to be done. All the while these Orlesians were dancing around each other, their real enemy was emboldening his army.

The last hour was not a waste, at least. Aside from hard evidence, Ash had the aid of an elven servant she'd saved from certain death, a witness against Briala's professed loyalty to her elven followers. But despite that they were better equipped to negotiate with the Empress and her rivals, they were no closer to knowing the identity of the assassin.

A hand pulled at her arm. Ash's blood spiked and she whirled quickly, quietly, to grab the wrist in an iron grip. Her wide golden eyes glared up into the bemused expression of her brother.

"Well, hello, darling sister," he gently extracted his wrist from her grip and reached into his robes. "I have a gift for you."

"Why would you sneak up on me like that?" she didn't bother to hide her mild annoyance.

"Old habits die hard. Here," he handed her the Empress's locket.

"What's this?"

"One of likely many skeletons in Celene's closet. Proof she had an affair with Briala, and, I suspect, still harbors feelings for her," Theo explained. Ash blew a low whistle.

"I have about everything I need, except knowledge of who the actual assassin is," she said ruefully.

"Well, I've done my part," he stretched casually and cast a disinterested look around the massive ballroom. "I'll be here if you need a hand, but if you'll excuse me…"

"I believe I saw Cassandra at the north end of the room," Ash smiled mischievously. Her brother stared blankly down at her.

"Thank you for that unsolicited information," he said dryly. She inclined her head and smirked as Theo started strolling south.

It was then the Grand Duchess Florianne caught Ash's eye. She'd heard some about her from Leliana, like every noble of import. The blonde masked woman smiled darkly and motioned to the dance floor. Ash frowned and took a deep, indulgent breath. Being on the dance floor would make her even more of a spectacle, but as the night wasn't over, she couldn't reason her way out of it.

She led the Duchess out onto the main stage, ignoring the hiss of whispers that followed like a wake after a ship.

"I've heard you are responsible for the negotiations tonight," Ash observed as she stepped into synch with the music. The slender woman's thick lips twitched knowingly.

"Indeed I did, at great effort. Of course, one might use the occasion for the blackest treason, should they wish it," she said coolly. "Take yourself… traipsing around the palace as you have been."

The hairs on the back of Ash's neck rose. She didn't say anything. After a moment, the Duchess pressed on with mild annoyance at her lack of easy give and take.

"You have made yourself both a curiosity and a concern."  
"And what am I to you, your grace?" Ash finally spoke. The masked blonde pursed her lips.

"A little of both, I should say," she purred.

Ash stifled an urge to frown. What was this woman playing at? Did she intend to unite the Orlesian powers and finally bring peace, as an ally might? As far as Ash had learned, none here was altruistic. She must have something to gain.

The Duchess talked of Gaspard, and how he wanted to strike against the Empress. She spoke of Gaspard's Captain of guards, and how he was the weak link to Gaspard's machinations. Her forthcoming nature was suspicious. She knew exactly where to send Ash to solve something the Empress's own guards should be able to accomplish. It was too easy.

So be it, Ash thought. She'd chase down the lead. If it were a dud, she'd know the Duchess was not to be trusted.

They chatted a few minutes more, the Duchess stubbornly elusive and Ash grudgingly vague. The dance ended, the Inquisitor bowed, and headed back to the wings to her waiting advisors.

She spoke in hushed tones with Cullen, Leliana and Josephine, of this new lead who could point to the assassin. The peace talks were crumbling and time was short, so Ash made haste to gather her team. Solas was smirking with some kind of satisfaction when she found him leaning against a marbled wall.

"You seem pleased," she observed as she touched his elbow and inclined her head toward the garden where Blackwall waited.

"I am," he said quietly as he fell into step with her. "The blend of danger, sex, and intrigue is a heady atmosphere I rarely find elsewhere. I've missed it." His light eyes shifted from the crowd to her. They sparkled with an unexpected intensity as they swept over her. "You are more at ease here than I would have expected."

"I'm adapting," she shrugged. He chuckled quietly.

"Of course, you are," he tilted his head to the side appraisingly. "Your ability to adapt is perhaps becoming your most defining quality. On the heels of your abrasive abandon in battle, that is."

Blackwall came into view, looking conspicuous and uncomfortable next to Cole at the edge of the garden. His face brightened when he noticed Ash.

"The Duchess has given us a lead," Ash explained as the three regrouped. "If it comes through, it should implicate Gaspard as the main suspect in all this nonsense. Not sure I trust her, but that's the theme of the night, isn't it?"

"Then let's be done with it," Blackwall said gruffly.

The Inquisitor led them once more into the darkness of the palace. It was much quieter now that they'd cut through most of the intruders. Ash cast an occasional glance at Cole for some sign the spirit had picked up on any sign of sabotage, but he remained as quiet and intrigued by the world around him as he had been all evening.

Lights glinted from the courtyard ahead.

"Be ready," Solas grasped his wand before him.

The four of them emerged under the lights of the early night sky and into the lush flora of the rectangular courtyard.

Into the sights of a dozen archers. Ash pulled her axe free. The bowstrings sang as they were pulled taut. A soldier was tied up at the far end of the courtyard, a man Ash could only assume was Gaspard's captain.

"What a pleasure!" a familiar voice rang out from above. "I wasn't certain you'd attend, Inquisitor." The graceful figure of the Duchess Florianne strolled from behind a massive Chantry sculpture on the balcony overlooking the courtyard. "You're such a challenge to read, I couldn't say for certain if you'd taken the bait."

"If you're looking for another dance partner, I'm a bit busy at the moment," Ash quipped. She sensed her teammates slowly position themselves behind her.

"A pity, truly. But I do appreciate you falling into my trap so easily," she motioned to the men below with a graceful turn of her wrist. "Corypheus has insisted the Empress die tonight, and I would hate to disappoint him." Heat rose into the Inquisitor's face. What was with this fanatical devotion these people had to Corypheus?

"Oh, don't worry yourself about that," Ash steadied her axe across her shoulder. "Disappointment should be like an old friend to him by now."

"Poor dear," she continued in her silky, assured voice. "You'll never know what is truly in store. All I need is to occupy you long enough to strike at Celene. They'll be talking of it for years."

"There won't be any 'they' left if that bastard wins," Blackwall growled.

"Shall we cure her of her delusions?" Solas spoke at her left. The Duchess ignored them.

"Kill her, and bring her marked hand as proof," Florianne commanded to the men below as she strolled back out of view.

The arrows loosed. Ash was ready for them. She dove to the side and pivoted back toward her foes. Shafts whistled past as bright purple light burst around her from Solas' barrier.

Her mark burned with energy. An idea came to her. She held it aloft as commotion exploded around her. Green fire sparked from her palm and into the sky, slicing a rift across the inky dark, and demons started spilling forth. Maybe not the smartest plan, but she'd wager the hired hands would be more startled by inhuman creatures pouring from a sky gash than she would.

"You sprang a trap in their own!" Cole exclaimed.

The wraiths took the archers by surprise with icy blasts. Blackwall and Ash did most of the rest of the work, then put an end to the demons she'd summoned.

"That was hardly a challenge," Blackwall snorted. "The Orlesians should stick to gossiping."

"Perhaps not the wisest idea to summon a rift," Solas observed as they surveyed the carnage, "but an effective distraction."

"Work with what you've got," Ash wiped the gore from her axe. She approached the bound soldier, smirked as he flinched when she knelt to him, then cut his bindings.

"Bloody hell," he rubbed his bruised wrists as he stood, "where those actually demons?"

"Good eye, yes. Those were definitely demons," she holstered her weapon.

"Maker, bless me! How could there be fucking demons in the Winter Palace?" he gasped. "I knew Gaspard was a bastard, but I didn't think he'd pit me against that." Ash's ears perked.

"So, you _are_ working for Gaspard."

"Not anymore, I'm not. The Duke wanted to move on the palace tonight, but he didn't have enough fancy chevaliers," the shaken man explained, "so he offered me and my men triple our price to come to this fancy poncy nonsense. Not enough for this."

That was all Ash needed. Florianne was the would-be assassin, and this witness solidified all her dirt on the others present. After offering the down and out soldier a new position with her Inquisition, she rallied her group back to the ballroom, before the Duchess found more to gloat about.

It wasn't a task to stop Florianne. Without her traps, she was just another over-dressed schemer. The true fun came when Briala, Gaspard, and Celene realized the sway the Inquisitor's efforts had given her over them. Enough sway to force them to work together, and stop this feuding that was distracting from the real enemy.

The night was drawing to a fast and efficient close, finally. And all the while the nobles present just tittered as if it were merely another amusing show, like any other, with no more consequences than one might expect from a neighbor's feud.

Ash was quick to excuse herself for air once the political machinations were done. The Empress was safe, her rivals bound to her through mutual blackmail, and the Inquisition could breath again.

She made her way to a balcony overlooking the massive palace garden and leaned against it with a long sigh.

"The Orlesian nobility make drunken toasts to your victory, and yet you are not present to hear them?" the sultry, calculating voice of Celene's arcane advisor drifted from behind Ash. She turned to greet the dark-haired apostate. "Tis most fickle, after all your efforts on their behalf."

"I would have stayed, but the punch ran dry," Ash propped an elbow up on the railing behind her and shrugged. "Scandalous."

Morrigan laughed coolly, noncommittally.

"Then let us see if you take this news as poorly. By imperial decree, I have been named liaison to the Inquisition," she gave a very slight curtsy. The hairs on Ash's neck rose. So, she was to be seeing more of this clever, elusive woman.

They spoke a few moments more of what Morrigan planned to offer the Inquisition. Ash sensed she knew things the Inquisition's magical resources didn't yet comprehend, and it would be no small benefit against a creature like Corypheus. But something didn't sit right with her about this mage.

Ash watched Morrigan return to the festivities, just as a familiar form silhouetted in the entrance to the balcony.

"There are at least a dozen young lords and ladies hoping for some time with the hero of the night," Blackwall said as he approached, "yet here you are, alone."

"You'd think they would just come on out here," Ash quipped as she looked up at him. "And you? Have you been beating off the courtiers like Cullen?"

Blackwall snorted in half amusement, half annoyance.

"They've cut me a wide enough berth. Must be the beard."

"Or they've noticed someone already has claim to you," Ash straightened. She reached out a hand and smoothed the front of his tunic.

"Perhaps. We have been bolder. First around our companions…"

"You know I've no interest in hiding," her fingers trailed down his arm and coiled with his. "I'm not some human noble bound by convention."  
"Thank the Maker," he looked down at her smaller hand in his. His dark brows knitted together. "But you must… have some concerns about what your clan might think."

"Let's just close this rift first, shall we?" she stepped close to him and craned her neck up at him. "Or better yet, enjoy what remains of this night."

A smile creased his eyes. He raised his other hand and gently caressed her cheek with his knuckles.

"As you wish. I do owe you a dance, after all," he said softly. She shivered in spite of herself as his thumb twirled down to the hollow of her neck. He stepped back, pulling her lightly after him toward the center of the balcony. "Shall we, my Lady Lavellan?"

"I didn't know you danced," her stomach tilted as one hand moved around her waist and pulled her close. Thank the Maker Josephine had given her a few lessons before all this. This was her third dance in as many hours, and certainly the one that mattered most.  
"I did once. In another life."

Conversation and the tinkling of glassware drifted gently out to them as they swayed. The distant sound of night creatures echoed from the garden and land beyond. It was a surreal yet appropriate mix of two worlds. Blackwall pressed his face into the waves of Ash's hair. He took a deep inhale, then shivered when he felt her nestle closer in response. She was uncharacteristically soft and yielding in his arms, under the moonlight in this snapshot of their lives he knew was precious and ephemeral. If not for the way her arm held firmly to him, he might've thought she was falling asleep in his embrace.

He wanted to stay with her longer. Till the morning. Till the day he summoned the courage to ask her. Till the day he could be a different man, one who could have a future with the woman in his arms.

"Ash…"

She stirred. He felt her face lift toward his.

"This has been a long night. In a place I can hardly say I enjoy, and would never care to see again. But damned if I won't remember it as one of the finer moments of my life."

"The Orlesian cuisine winning you over?" she whispered against his neck. He didn't laugh at her quip this time.

"Any place I can hold you like this," his voice was gravely with emotion. "There's nothing I want more."

Her fingers moved up his neck and through his thick hair. She pushed him back far enough to gaze up into his eyes. Her jaw clenched firm, her brow lined with resolve. The corners of her golden eyes glimmered in the starlight. He felt laid low by the raw affection reflecting back at him.

They closed the distance between them for the second time that night, oblivious to any prying eyes. He was right, she thought as she basked in his intoxicating warmth. Despite all they had been through, all they had yet to go, this moment burned the slate clean. This fearless, honorable man had a way of resetting her, making her stronger. Ash let his strong arms enfold her and keep the future worries at bay. For a merciful few moments, the specter of his past melted beneath the force of the present, and it was only the two of them beneath the forgetful expanse of the night sky.


End file.
